Alone Together
by Grissom1
Summary: Sara and Grissom have been sent to San Francisco together and Sara must face her past again. GSR as always with lots of romance and angst...
1. Chapter 1

Hello again,

Once again this is another story about Sara and Grissom set in my own alternate universe and follows no story line...The first chapter is long to get you into the suspense of it and as always please leave a review for each chapter.

Take care,

Penny

**Alone Together:**

"I hear congratulations are in order," said Catherine as she sat down for a cup of coffee.

Grissom smiled and poured her a cup of coffee.

"Is it true you and Sara will be going to San Francisco?" asked Catherine.

"I don't think it would look good if we opted not to receive the award in person," said Grissom.

"How is Ecklie taking all this?" asked Catherine. "Sara is not on his list of favorite employees."

"She's getting the award…not just me," he said.

"Still, I'm surprised Ecklie would allow both of you to go together," she said.

"It's both of us or neither of us," said Grissom.

"I guess Sara is anxious to see her old friends," said Catherine.

"I haven't talked with her much," he said.

It was the truth.

They had been too busy these days.

They had been notified just the other day that they had won the prestigious award for their recent research in the forensic field of science. They had a moment of accomplishment before they were back in the field on a crime scene. Few details of the award banquet had been given. If it had been a year ago, he would have panicked at the idea of traveling alone with her. Things had changed. They had come to a better place in their relationship.

The past year had been difficult. They rarely spoke to one another, and Sara had seemed out of sorts. Her altercation with Ecklie had destined her to leave Vegas, but Grissom did not want to lose her. He refused to fire her and did something he had not done before. He faced a confrontation with her, refusing to back down; and in the end, she had divulged her past.

He sat there and listened to her speak of her father's death; and with each word, he wondered how he had let so many years get between them without any mention of their past. It certainly explained a lot. He felt guilty for not noticing the problem sooner. He worked more closely with her after the incident, and they soon began doing research together. He had enjoyed working with her, and now they would soon receive recognition from their field for their work.

"I was just notified of the location," he said.

Sara strolled in and smiled.

He had gotten used to seeing that smile again.

"I booked us flights for the award banquet," he announced.

"Chicago?" she asked.

"San Francisco," he said.

He noticed how her smile faded.

"San Francisco?" she asked with her back turned.

"You'll get to see your old friends," said Catherine.

_I'll have to see him again…_

_I never wanted to go back there…_

_Even when things were bad here…_

_I never thought I would go back there…_

"I haven't kept up with many," she said quietly.

"We leave tomorrow," he said.

She tensed for a moment but forced herself to turn and smile.

"Listen, I'm sure Ecklie doesn't want us both gone at the same time. You go," she said.

He looked surprised.

Catherine looked suspiciously at her.

"The award is for both of us," he said.

"You can receive it for both of us," she said.

"It's both of us or neither of us," he said.

Catherine glanced at Grissom.

It was not like him to push to go to one of these functions.

She knew it had to be he would be spending time away with Sara.

Catherine smiled.

_He's finally ready to make that move…_

_It's about damn time!_

"What are you all smiles about?" asked Grissom to Catherine.

"Have a good trip…don't forget to enjoy yourselves…it's not often you get a paid vacation," she said as she left the break room.

Sara hid her face from view.

_It's not going to be a vacation…_

_It's going to be the nightmare from hell…_

"I suggest you pack," said Grissom as he headed out of the break room.

She turned and gawked when she heard him whistling.

He met her at the airport.

She wore a smile.

It was the only thing he noticed.

"Aisle seat," he announced.

"Middle seat," she said.

They sat there quietly while they waited for the flight.

"Looking forward to seeing your old friends again?" he asked.

"It's been awhile," she said. "I haven't kept up with many."

"You should drop in," he said.

"They'll be at the banquet," she said "I'm sure I'll see them sometime."

The conversation ended.

The awkwardness began.

He watched the passengers coming and going while she sat there and tried to recall the last time they had ever gone out of town together.

"We've never done this," she said.

"No, we haven't," he said.

They boarded the plane and took their seats.

Grissom looked a bit annoyed when a young man came and took the window seat. He pulled out his magazine he had been saving and began to read.

"Hi, I'm Paul," said the young man.

"Hi," replied Sara.

Grissom grinned.

"You like the window seat?" he asked.

"No," she said.

Grissom smiled again.

"Me either," said Paul.

Sara leaned her seat back and closed her eyes.

"You tired?" asked Grissom.

"I uhm hate take offs," lied Sara.

"Me too," said Grissom.

She smiled.

It belonged to him.

She had meant it for him, and he felt warm inside.

He stared at that smile and returned it.

Paul frowned.

As the flight continued, the knots in her stomach tightened. She dreaded the banquet. She had buried herself in research in order to spend time with Grissom. She had no idea it would bring her back to San Francisco. The stewardess came for the drink order, and she envied Paul.

He ordered alcohol.

She wanted to.

She ordered water instead.

Grissom ordered juice.

_Take his orange juice and add some vodka…_

"Is something wrong?" he asked.

"No, uhm no," she lied again.

The knots continued in her stomach until she could barely breathe.

"You uhm have problems with flying?" he asked.

"No."

He glanced down and stared at her hands as they gripped the seat.

She hid them under her legs.

"Looks like you could use a drink," offered Paul. "Could I buy you one?"

Grissom tightened the hold on his magazine.

Her hesitation scared him.

_Yes, a shot of tequila…._

"No thanks," she said softly.

He loosened his grip.

She closed her eyes and tried to shut out the urge to grab Paul's drink and finish it.

_Five years…_

_It's been five years…_

_Everything has changed…_

_I've changed…_

_Not really…_

_I'm the same…_

_It's as if I've been stuck in some time warp and everything has changed except me…_

_I'm still me…_

_Plain Sara…_

_Still single and screwed up as ever…_

_Jenny will be there…_

_I'll get to see her again…_

_I stopped calling…_

_Lost contact with her…_

_She tried to continue the friendship…_

_I didn't…_

"Sara?"

She opened her eyes and saw that he was standing.

She hurried and gathered her things.

"Short flight," she said.

"You must have dozed," he said.

She was surprised when she noticed their rooms were next to one another. She stepped inside, and he brought in her luggage. "We have an hour or so before the meet and greet."

She swallowed hard.

"Is it necessary?" she asked.

"Yes," he said. "Are you feeling well?"

"I'm fine," she lied.

She wasn't fine.

"I'm going to get some paperwork done. Tap on the door when you're ready," he said motioning for the door between their rooms.

He unlocked it and stepped through into his. She noticed how he did not lock it on his side. It was a bold move. She could easily step through the door at any time. Any other time, she would have spent the next hour daydreaming about stepping through that door and into his bed.

Her daydreams would have to wait.

She needed to prepare herself in case she ran into him.

She stepped out of the shower and dressed. It was a formal meet and greet.

She knew he would be wearing a suit.

She loved him in suits.

Of course she loved him in anything.

_Why San Francisco…._

_I could be enjoying this…_

_Instead I'm dreading the moment I run into him…_

She looked up when she heard the tap on the door.

He stepped in and stared at her.

She glanced down at the gown and suddenly felt very self conscious.

"You uhm don't like it?" she asked quickly.

He searched for the right words.

He had taken too long.

Her shoulders slumped.

"Sara, it's beautiful," he stuttered out.

"Right," she said. "Look, I don't care for these meet and greets."

"Me either," he said with a slight grin. "We'll make an appearance and then leave."

"Good," she said as she sighed.

They were not prepared for the instant notoriety as they stepped into the room. Sara watched as he was led away from her as an old colleague began to chat. He glanced at her when a man began talking with her.

They both frowned.

"We met on the plane," said Paul.

"Yes…we did," said Sara now wishing she had taken that drink.

"If I had known who you were, I would have asked you about your research," said Paul.

She was glad she did not offer her name.

"Sara!"

Sara turned and smiled when she saw Jenny.

"It's great to see you again," smiled Jenny.

Jenny pulled Sara away from Paul.

"If you want to go back…"

"Keep walking Jenny. Keep walking," she whispered.

Jenny giggled.

"So how've you been?" asked Jenny.

"Good."

"You stopped calling…didn't return emails."

"I know," said Sara.

"We have a lot to talk about."

"We do?" asked Sara.

"Ran into any of the unit yet?"

"You're the first," said Sara.

"David is here with his fiancé," said Jenny.

Jenny waited for a reaction, but there was none.

"You did that very well," said Jenny.

"Did what?" asked Sara.

"You didn't even flinch," said Jenny.

"I would have to care. I don't," said Sara.

"That means you're either married or engaged," said Jenny.

"Neither."

"I am," said Jenny.

Sara stared.

"I got married two years ago," said Jenny. "I tried to get you to come, but you didn't return my phone calls."

"I've been busy," said Sara quietly.

"I'll introduce you to him. He's dropping in to get me," she said. "He doesn't like me staying out too late these days."

Sara frowned.

"We have a six month old son," said Jenny. "He cries if I'm not home to tuck him in. He's a momma's boy."

"You have a son?" asked Sara.

"I told you we have a lot to talk about," smiled Jenny.

Grissom appeared.

Sara made the introductions. Others came and joined in the conversation. Sara could tell that already Grissom was ready to leave. She was also. She was not prepared for David's entrance. He scanned the room and came directly to them.

"Mr. Grissom, it's good to see you again," said David.

Sara felt the air leave her lungs.

"I'm not sure we've met," said Grissom.

"It was several years ago. Sara and I attended a lecture of yours," said David not bothering to look in Sara's direction.

"I remember Sara. I don't remember you," said Grissom.

Sara smiled inwardly.

David then turned his attention to Sara.

"You haven't changed Sara."

"Neither have you."

She purposely held her gaze as did he.

Neither budged.

It was the voice of a young woman that caused them to break the silence.

"David"

He turned and smiled at the woman.

"Sara, this is Rebecca, my fiancé. Rebecca, this is an old coworker of mine."

Grissom caught the flinch as Sara stepped back.

"Sara, I've got some photos to show you," interrupted Jenny. "Sorry, David, but she's mine tonight."

"You two were always thick as thieves," said David.

Jenny grabbed Sara, and Grissom followed as she led them out of the room.

Grissom stepped into his room as Jenny and Sara disappeared into hers.

Jenny pulled out the baby photos and showed them to Sara.

"He's beautiful," said Sara softly.

"It seems strange," said Jenny. "You were so convinced you were going to be married first."

"Things change," said Sara quietly.

"How've you been really?" asked Jenny.

"I'm fine," said Sara.

"David still gets to you. Some things haven't changed," said Jenny.

"This Rebecca..."

"Her father is a district judge. He sees it as a step on the career ladder. He doesn't plan to work for the DA's office much longer."

Jenny's phone rang.

Sara sifted through the photos while she spoke.

"I hope you don't mind, but my husband is on his way up here with our son. He got a little fussy."

"No. Of course not," said Sara.

"You and Grissom did a wonderful job on the research project," said Jenny.

"Thank you."

"I kind of thought there was something between the two of you…" She stopped when there was a knock.

Sara was glad for the interruption.

She opened the door.

"Hey, come on in," said Jenny as she took the baby.

"Sara, this is Brad, and this little one is Scotty."

Sara smiled.

The baby whimpered for a moment as Jenny patted him on the back.

Her phone rang again.

"Sara, could you take him for a moment?" asked Jenny.

The baby was thrust into her arms, and she felt awkward as she sat there holding him.

"It's a problem with a case. Brad, it involves you," said Jenny. Sara sat there as the baby stared at her. She smiled. He smiled back. She patted his back, and he cooed. It made Sara's heart skip a beat. He reached for her hair and grabbed it. She let him. He smiled. She smiled back. He tried to put her hair into his mouth, but Jenny snapped her fingers and shook her finger at him. He frowned. Sara grinned. He glanced at Jenny and tried once more, but her finger was back in the air.

Sara remembered the stress ball in her brief case, and she pulled it out. She handed it to him, and he smiled.

She sat there mesmerized by the baby.

Jenny got off the phone and smiled.

"I can see he already has you wrapped around his finger," said Jenny.

"He's beautiful," whispered Sara.

"He's going to be very manipulative like his father," said Jenny.

"I never was…"

There was a soft tap, and Grissom appeared.

"Sara…" he stopped the moment he saw the baby in her arms.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know…"

"We were just leaving. It's past his bed time," said Jenny. "Call me tomorrow."

Sara watched as she took the baby from her arms.

"Call me… promise?" asked Jenny.

"I promise," she said.

Grissom waited until they left.

"Sorry, I didn't know she was still here," he said.

"It's fine," she said.

"I was going to go down and get something from the restaurant since we skipped dinner," he said. "You uhm hungry?"

She seemed strange.

He did not think Jenny's visit had upset her, but she suddenly seemed sad.

"I think I'll stay clear of downstairs," she said.

It was not going the way he had planned.

_I wanted to have dinner with you…_

_I had hoped you would have asked, and I could have said yes this time…_

"Room service," he offered.

"I'm not hungry," she said quietly.

He was not prepared for her to turn him down.

It was not like her.

He stepped back into his room but purposely left the door open between the rooms. He heard the shuffling of drawers and then the sound of a shower running. He called room service and ordered enough for two in hopes she would change her mind. The vision of her sitting there in the gown holding the baby seemed to rattle him. He had never imagined Sara with a child until that moment, and he wondered if there was more to what had transpired that night than he was willing to admit.

He knew about David Hollister. He knew that he and Sara had dated. There was still something between them. Grissom felt it. He had watched as David purposely did not look at Sara unless her head was turned. He knew that game. He had played it for years. He knew that David Hollister was still attracted to Sara. He wondered if Sara was having regrets. Room service arrived. He tapped on the open door and looked around the room. He found her standing by the window.

"I ordered extra in hopes you had changed your mind," he said.

When she did not turn, he grew concerned and stepped into the room.

"Sara?"

"Hmmm?"

"I ordered soup and sandwiches. Interested?"

"I'm sorry. I was…"

"A million miles away," he finished for her. "Are you alright?"

"Just tired."

"Mine or yours?" he asked.

She looked confused.

"Come with me," he said.

The tray sat on the bed since the table was covered with papers.

"I was trying to get caught up with some paperwork," he said.

She slid down onto the floor taking a pillow to support her back. He handed her a sandwich when she declined the soup. She smiled when she saw that it was pimento cheese.

"Not much on the menu for vegetarians," he said.

"Thanks," she said.

"Glad you came?" he asked.

They both knew the answer to that.

"Ready to go home," she said. "We have cases…"

"Sara, everyone needs to get away sometime."

"You don't," she said.

"Actually I'll be gone for two weeks this month. I'm going to a convention," he said.

She tried to hide the disappointment.

"You should take some time off," he said.

_I have no place to go…_

_Besides if I did, I would end up alone…_

_I can stay home and be alone…_

_At least when I work, we're alone together…_

_You'll be gone for two weeks…_

He watched as her mind drifted off once more.

"Your friend Jenny seems very nice," he said softly.

"I didn't stay in touch," she said.

She sat the half eaten sandwich back on the tray. "I never imagined Jenny married. She often said she never would. She's married and has a baby." "He uhm wrapped his hands in my hair…I didn't know babies smelled so sweet. He smelled like…she seems happy. I'm happy for her," said Sara quietly. "Her life went on while mine…"

She stopped and for a moment he saw the sadness in her eyes.

"I think I'll turn in now…maybe I can get some rest," she said.

He nodded and said nothing as she disappeared into her room again shutting the door between the rooms.

He felt helpless.

She obviously was sad.

_Maybe she wishes she was David's fiancé…_

_She would be getting married and could start her own family…_

_She wants to be married…_

_She wants children…_

_I never knew any of this…_

_I never asked…_

Sleep did not come nor did the rest as she found herself pacing in the room. She glanced at the door between the rooms. He had purposely opened it ,but she had shut it.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid Sara…_

_You could have just strolled in there…_

_You could have sat down on the bed…_

_Probably even laid down and watched him work…_

_Maybe he would have sat down beside you…_

_Maybe he would have let you touch him…_

_It's what you want to do…._

_Reach out and touch him…_

_See how your head feels against his chest…_

_Your arms wrapped around him…_

_Your lips touching his…_

_Your body next to his…_

_Giving your body to him…_

_Stop it, Sara!_

_He doesn't want you…_

_David didn't want you…_

_As soon as he found out about your past…_

_He dropped you…_

_But then, he was cruel and mean and…_

_Grissom isn't like that…_

_But then, Grissom considers you a friend…_

_Nothing more…_

_For five years…_

_There's been nothing more…_

_Never will be…_

_You'll spend the rest of your life suspended while the others go on with their lives…_

_Yours stopped the moment he…_

There was a tap on the door, and she started to open it when she realized it was not the adjoining door.

_It's Grissom…._

_He doesn't think he's welcome since I shut the door…_

She opened the door and found David standing there with a smile.

"Hello, Sara. Missed me?"

**Note from author:**

Welcome back. This idea came to me in a dream…I am so in need of therapy. LOL

Take care,

Penny


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

"That would be like missing a plague," she said now regretting she had opened the door.

"Ouch! That wasn't very nice," he said.

She started to shut the door when his foot stopped it.

"Just came here to talk," he said.

"Move your foot!"

"I missed you. Let me show you," he said softly.

"Get out!"

"Rebecca is nothing compared to you," he said trying to touch her arm but she flinched.

"Get out, or I'll call security," she said.

"Just let me hold you," he said. "You used to love to be held."

"Leave!"

He shoved the door back causing her to stumble. She immediately reached for the adjoining door, but his hands were already there pulling her against him. Bile rose, and she clamped her mouth shut to keep from vomiting.

"Your skin is still so soft," he whispered near her ear. "I missed you beneath me."

She went into panic mode.

"Let go of me, David!"

"Just let me hold you," he said as he stepped forward. She retreated back toward the door and felt the door knob turn but he pulled her back.

"Come on Sara," he said softly. "I've missed you."

Her hand flew up to hit him but he caught it and pulled her against him. Every nerve in her body screamed.

"Let me go, David, please," she begged.

"Just let me hold you," he said. "Then I'll let you go."

She told herself not to scream when she felt him pull her against him.

The door opened, and Grissom stood there not sure if he had intruded.

"Sara…"

David smiled and released her but not before whispering, "Next time."

It made her skin crawl.

"I should be going," said David as he smiled at Grissom, and then walked out of the room.

There was a moment of silence.

"I'm sorry. I heard the door knob, and I thought…I'm sorry," he said as he turned and headed back to his room.

"Grissom…please, don't shut the door," she begged.

Her voice was unsteady and for a moment he thought he saw her tremble.

"Are you okay?"

_No, I'm not…_

_I'm scared…._

_I don't want to be alone…anymore_

_Please don't shut the door…_

_He might come back…_

"I'm fine," she finally got out.

_He doesn't like weakness…_

_He likes women who are strong and can protect themselves…_

_Not someone like me…_

_I couldn't protect myself…_

_He would never understand…_

_If I told him what David did…_

_What I let David do…_

He said nothing as he stepped into the other room, but left the door open.

He stood on the other side of the door and listened for her. He heard a quiet sob as she slumped down on the bed.

_She still cares for him…_

_He's taking advantage of her feelings…_

_Probably came to gloat that he's engaged and just wanted to toy with her emotions…_

_Bastard…_

_He hurt her…_

He could hear her moving about. She was now in the shower as he heard the water turn on. He didn't want to eavesdrop, but he was worried about her. She had seemed visibly shaken.

_She's probably afraid he might come back…_

_She might let him…_

_She's not the type to get involved with…_

_He's just engaged…not married._

Grissom fully opened each door before returning to the table. He tried to return to work, but instead he sat there and imagined watching her shower. He closed his eyes and for a moment he thought he could smell lavender.

_She's probably washing her hair now…_

_Her hair always smells so nice…_

_Her hands are now washing her body…_

_I bet it's soft…_

_It is soft…_

_I held her that day in her apartment…_

_It was brief…_

_But she let me and I did…_

_I held her hand also…_

_So soft and warm…_

_So gentle and yet strong…_

He glanced at the clock and noticed she had been in there for thirty minutes. He heard the water shut off, and he listened once more. Her footsteps stopped at the bed, but then she was up again.

She paced.

He could hear her softly padding back and forth.

She stopped again, and he listened for any sign that she might have turned in.

Minutes passed, and silence continued from the room.

He sighed.

_She's probably sleeping…_

_She's probably lying on the bed…_

_She's probably dressed for bed…_

_Probably wearing a gown…._

_Wonder what color it is…_

_If it fits loosely or tight against her curves…_

He wanted to check on her.

He didn't want to intrude.

He knew she was upset.

He was surprised when he heard the shower turn on again.

_His visit really bothered her…_

_She's taking another shower…_

_Probably a cold one…_

_She's still attracted to him…_

_Shit…_

She stripped of her clothing and turned on the water once more. It did not seem hot enough as she stood there and scrubbed.

_He touched me again…_

_I let him touch me…_

_I should have screamed…_

_Who would believe me?_

_He's the DA…_

_I'm an old girlfriend…_

_Just someone from his past…_

_Someone he raped…_

She scrubbed and scrubbed until her skin burned. She stood there now and sobbed. It was a safe place to fall apart. Her cries would be muffled from the sound of the shower. She was relieved to see the doors open. It gave her some sense of security. Grissom was next door. He would not let David harm her. He had come. He had made David leave.

She stepped out and slipped on the gown. She looked at herself in the mirror and covered the gown with the robe. She washed her face over and over trying to convince herself that no one would know that she had just spent an hour falling apart. She glanced once more in the mirror and decided it would have to do. She sat down on the bed and stretched out. She would give anything to sleep. She knew better than to try. She knew the nightmares would return.

She lay there and tried to listen for Grissom.

_He's still working…_

_He's probably sitting there at the table with his glasses perched on the bridge of his nose…_

_I love the way he looks over his glasses as if he's examining your soul…_

_He's always so engrossed in his work…_

_Never noticing anything else…_

_He noticed the door…_

_If he hadn't, David would have…_

She trembled again.

She could not seem to stop.

_Stop it Sara!_

_Stop being so cowardly…_

_Stop letting him do this to you…_

_He's gone…_

_You're here…_

_The door is locked…._

_It was locked last time…_

_He got in…_

_He got what he wanted…_

She swallowed the lump in her throat.

_Grissom is next door…_

_The door is open…_

_He will hear if anything happens…_

_He'll come…_

She closed her eyes and imagined lying in bed with Grissom.

_He would be warm and comforting…_

_He would be strong but gentle…_

_He was all those things that day he came to the apartment…_

_He held my hand…_

_Then he held me…_

_He held me..._

_He held me…_

He listened and sighed.

_She's sleeping…_

_She probably had a good cry and then fell asleep…_

_She's probably not even under the covers…_

_Just lying there in her gown…_

_So soft and beautiful…_

The sounds were soft at first. He stood and listened. With each step, the sounds intensified. By the time he reached the door, she was tossing and turning. From the sounds of the pleadings, it was not a dream but rather a nightmare. He stepped inside and stood by the bed. He could not make out the words except one, David. He felt his jealousy emerge. He pushed it aside when he realized the nightmare was getting worse. He reached out and gently shook her, and she scrambled from the bed. She stood there panting.

"Bad dream?" he asked.

She glanced around the room as if searching for someone. Her arms folded around her body as she tried to gain her composure.

"Sara, are you okay? You're trembling," he said stepping forward.

"Bad dream," she managed to get out. "I'm sorry…didn't mean…" she sat down on the bed only to stand up again.

"Want to tell me what you were dreaming?" he asked.

_He was here…_

_He got the door open…_

_He was on top of me…_

_I couldn't breathe…_

_I could feel him…._

_I yelled for you…_

_The door was closed…_

_It wouldn't open…_

"Just a dream," she said standing there.

"Want me to stay?" he asked.

_Yes, I want you to hold me…_

_Tell me he's never going to hurt me…_

_Tell me you don't think it was my fault…_

_Tell me you believe me…_

_I'm not sure Jenny ever did…_

"I'm fine," she whispered.

He hesitated a moment before returning to his room. He cursed when he heard the shower turn on once more. An hour passed, and she finally emerged. She had dressed in sweats but still kept the robe on. He glanced up and saw her standing in the doorway. He smiled. She looked different.

_She looks tired…_

_She looks sad…_

_She looks frightened…_

He stared at her intently.

Her eyes were puffy. She trembled even though she was dressed in sweats and wore the robe. He was in short sleeves. The room was by no means cold.

_An hour long cold shower…_

"Hey," he said softly.

"Can I uhm come in?" she asked.

"Another shower?" he asked.

"Couldn't sleep," she said.

"You know my mother used to have me tell her my nightmares. It helped," he said.

"What are you working on?" she asked changing the subject.

He let it drop.

"Requisitions," he said.

She slowly made her way into the room and stood by the bed.

"Stay," he said. "I'd like the company," he said.

She sat down on the edge of the bed.

He returned to his paperwork. She eased back on the bed and glanced around the room. It already smelled of him. His glasses were balanced on the bridge of his nose, and he smiled when she leaned back on the bed.

_You're safe…_

_You're with him…_

_He's just as you imagined…_

_He's working…_

_Why do I feel so…_

She yawned.

He pretended not to notice.

She slid back on the bed and curled up with a pillow.

"That should keep Ecklie off my back for awhile," he said as he stood and stretched. She immediately came off the bed.

"Stay," he said as he slid into the chair and propped his foot up on another chair as he pulled out a book.

She tilted her head to read the title.

"Walden's Pond," he said.

She nodded.

"It's comforting," he said.

She nodded once again.

"You've read it?" he asked.

She nodded again.

His eyes returned to the book, and her eyes fluttered shut. He grinned. He glanced once or twice in her direction. She had curled up.

"Feel better?" he asked.

"Yes," she said.

His eyes went back to the page, but his mind remained on her.

"David upset you?"

Her eyes flew open, and she sat up.

"Sara?"

"I should go…back to my room," she said in an unsteady voice.

"Why?"

Note from author:

I think I have been nice in this story in that Sara and Grissom face the angst together…so be kind and leave a review as we continue with the story. Just a reminder, I post after so many reviews are given…it's my bribe…I know but hey I do live for reviews and GSR and ghost hunts and sitting down talking with spirits…

Take care,

Penny


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three:**

She stared at him.

He had never made such an offer.

He was sharing his room, his time, and his attention.

They were not working, there was no research and he was not retreating.

"You probably want to sleep," she said.

"I can't sleep at night," he said.

She glanced around as if unsure what to do.

"Stay," he said.

She slowly curled back up.

She tensed when footsteps were heard outside in the hallway. Her eyes flew open, and she was visibly upset. He glanced at her and then at the door.

"Expecting someone?" he asked.

"He uhm might come back," she said.

"Do you want him to?" he asked.

She quickly shook her head.

He was glad.

Her actions made him suspicious.

"Did he do something to you?" he asked suddenly.

_Yes he did…_

_He wanted to do it again…_

_I don't want to stay here…_

_I want to go home…_

_I'm afraid…_

"I don't like him," she said.

The slight trembling and the fear in her eyes told him something had happened.

_Maybe she's embarrassed that she was seen with a man who's engaged…_

_Maybe she's embarrassed because she still has feelings for him…_

_Why the fear?_

_Maybe she's afraid she might let herself…_

"You two have words?" he asked.

She refused to answer.

He decided it was best to let it drop.

She seemed to relax again, and he returned to his book although he had not turned a single page. His mind was too preoccupied with her. He leaned back and watched her. Her eyes were now closed; and from her steady breathing, he knew she was asleep. He stepped into the other room, grabbed the comforter, and placed it over her. She murmured something, and he gently brushed the hair from her eyes.

He smiled when she curled back up and hugged the pillow tighter. There was a soft tapping on her door, and he glanced down at her. She remained asleep. He stepped into the other room and opened the door to find David Hollister standing there. He briefly looked surprised but then smiled.

"Surprised to see you still here," he said.

"Did you want something?" asked Grissom.

"I came to see Sara, but I see she's busy…with you," he said.

"She's asleep," said Grissom not liking the innuendo.

"Sorry to interrupt," he said. "Tell her I stopped by."

He tried to glance into the room, but Grissom blocked him.

Grissom shut the door and waited until he heard him walk away.

He turned to find her sitting up in the bed.

"Sorry," he said returning to the room. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"He came back…didn't he?"

"Yes, he did."

She scrambled off the bed and hurried to the door checking to make sure it was locked.

"Sara, what happened?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said. "And nothing is going to happen."

"I don't like him," he said suddenly.

"Neither do I," she whispered.

She shivered.

He stepped forward to touch her, and she recoiled.

It surprised him.

It hurt her.

"I'm sorry…I'm going to stay in here," she said softly.

"You're welcome to stay…"

She shook her head.

"Maybe it would be best if you stayed in my room," he said.

She clutched herself to make sure she was not dreaming.

_He's offering to share his room with me…_

_He's finally going to…_

"We could switch rooms," he offered.

She felt a lump in her throat.

_Should have known the rejection would soon come…_

_He's only being nice…_

_He's never been interested…_

_He's never going to love me…_

"It's fine," she said.

"You sure?" he asked.

She nodded as she went and stood by the window.

He wanted her back in his bed.

He wanted her sleeping so he could watch.

He wanted to make sure she was okay.

"I'm going to be reading for awhile," he said.

She knew he was inviting her back into his room.

She could not bear to be that close just now.

She kept her back to him as he disappeared into the other room.

Once he was gone, she covered her mouth to cover the tears that came.

He cursed when he heard the shower once again.

An hour passed; and then, when he was about to go in after her, she came out. She sat there now as her skin burned. She spent the remainder of the night at the table as she looked out

the window. He woke several hours later and glanced at the clock. They would need to dress soon and make their way to the conference room where the awards would begin that morning.

He stopped and stared at the chair that was propped up against the door handle. He quickly searched the room and found her sitting in the other chair.

"Sara?"

She turned suddenly, and their eyes met.

"Did you do this?" he asked motioning toward the chair.

"Just a precaution," she said. "I do it wherever I stay."

He wasn't convinced.

"The awards…"

She glanced at the clock and stood. "I'll just…"

"Don't you think you've had enough showers?" he asked.

She ignored the comment and headed to the bathroom.

He watched as she disappeared but left the bathroom door open.

_Just a few steps and I would be in there with her…_

He turned quickly and headed for his own cold shower.

He waited for her, but when she did not appear, he stepped into her room. She stood there in another evening gown. The sight of her caught his breath as she stood there looking out the window.

"We should go downstairs," he said.

"Maybe you should go alone," she said.

"Want to tell me what this is all about?" he asked.

"I'm not feeling well," she lied.

"You look beautiful," he said softly.

"Couldn't you go…"

He stepped forward and grinned. "Don't like audiences?"

_He's going to be there…_

_He's going to be watching…_

_He'll have that look on his face…._

_Like he's undressing me again…_

"Couldn't you…"

He stepped closer and saw the fear in her eyes.

"I'll be right beside you," he said.

_Right beside me…_

_Right beside me…_

_Get a grip Sara…_

_He's going to see how weak you are…_

"Ready?" he asked.

They started to leave.

"Did you have breakfast?" he asked.

"I'm afraid breakfast would revisit me if I tried to eat," she said.

"We'll have a big lunch," he said.

The banquet room was already filling up by the time they made their way into the room. She felt his hand on the small of her back, and she squared her shoulders taking a seat at a table.

He sat down next to her. She smiled when Jenny appeared across the room and made her way towards the table. The chair next to Sara was pulled out, and David sat down. She felt her

body tense as she turned and came face to face with him.

"I came back last night, but you must have been asleep," he said smiling.

"The space is reserved for Jenny," she said.

His hand snaked out and rested across the back of her chair, and he leaned in close.

"Come with me," he whispered.

"Get away from me," she said.

"Sara, please," he said. "Let's talk, just you and me."

"Go away," she said.

"I miss you," he said. "You miss me too."

Jenny arrived at the table.

"Hello, Jenny," said David.

"Hello, David. I think you have my seat," she said.

He stood but pulled Sara up by the hand. She suddenly noticed the others looking at them. She wanted nothing more than to pull her hand free but knew the action would cause a scene.

Grissom stood and placed his hand on her waist.

"Is there a problem?" asked Grissom.

"Sara and I were just going outside…"

"I'm not leaving," whispered Sara.

David glared at her.

She stepped back and found her body pressed up against Grissom.

"I think you have your answer," said Grissom as he guided Sara back down into the seat. Jenny slipped between David and Sara.

"Later, David," said Jenny.

She sat down as he walked away.

Sara turned and saw Grissom staring at her.

"I'm fine," she whispered.

"I don't like Hollister."

"Let's just get through this and leave."

The awards dragged on as David stared at her from across the room. She kept her eyes diverted from him. Grissom placed his hand on her elbow as Hollister stood and approached the

podium. His jaw twitched when Hollister was announced as the next presenter. Sara stared in disbelief.

They walked up together as Hollister purposely handed the award to Sara. Her trembling hands reached out to receive it, and he took the opportunity to embrace her. He leaned in and

whispered. "It feels good to have you in my arms again." She stepped back and tried to keep her composure.

Grissom's hand found its way to her back, and she rested there.

He led her immediately to their table. Once seated her hand shot out and waived a waiter to the table.

"Scotch," she said.

As soon as it appeared, she downed it without flinching.

"Sara…"

She ordered another one before he could finish the statement.

"I thought you knew David was one of the presenters. You okay?" asked Jenny.

"Is this almost over?" asked Sara.

"Yes," said Grissom.

The drink arrived; and she reached for it, but his hand gently pulled her hand underneath the table. He held it gently as he caressed the palm.

She stared at the drink.

She wanted it.

She needed it.

She deserved it after enduring another touch from David Hollister.

She let it sit there.

The awards ended, and she was up immediately.

"Sara, please tell me you and Mr. Grissom will come to the house for dinner," said Jenny.

She stopped and took a deep breath.

"We uhm…"

"We'd love to," said Grissom as he answered for both of them as they hurried out of the room and into the first elevator. He said nothing as she stood there with arms folded about her.

Once it opened, she was practically running for the room. She fumbled with the key, and once the door was unlocked, she disappeared. He stepped into his room and glanced into hers. She

had bolted the door and was already in the shower.

He was sitting on her bed when she came out. The steam rolled out of the bathroom.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I want to go home," she said.

"Our flight doesn't leave until tomorrow."

"Tomorrow!"

"I thought you would like to spend some time with your friends," he said.

He had tried to be considerate.

"I'm sorry, Griss," she blurted out. "I didn't mean…thank you."

"We can try to catch an earlier flight if you want," he said.

"No. I'd like to see Jenny again," she said.

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm sure."

"You skipped breakfast. How about some lunch?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"Sara, you barely ate anything last night. You…"

"I'm tired. I just think I'll try to sleep before dinner," she said.

He didn't believe her.

_Maybe she doesn't want to be seen with me…_

_Afraid word will get back…_

_Maybe she's afraid she'll run into him…_

_Me too…_

"Room service," he said. "I can call room service."

She knew he wasn't going to give up.

"Room service," she said.

He placed the order while she sat there towel drying her hair.

He tried to imagine what it would feel like to do that for her.

He sighed and she turned.

"I better change," he said as he disappeared into his bathroom.

When he returned, he found her curled up on his bed.

"Did you read much last night?" she asked.

"About as much as you slept," he said.

He sat down in a chair across from her.

"Sara, David Hollister…"

The tapping on the door made her jump.

They looked at one another.

"I think it's your door," he said.

Note from author:

I don't know about the rest of you but I like the protective Grissom...he's doing a good job...thanks so much to all of the readers who are leaving a review for each chapter. You are so much appreciated! Now, let's continue with the story!

Take care,

Penny


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four:**

She sat there and stared at it.

"Want me to get that?" he asked.

She nodded.

He crossed the room and opened the door to find Jenny standing there.

"Sorry but I forgot to give you directions," she said handing a piece of paper to Grissom.

She glanced around the room.

"I'm sorry. I thought I was knocking on Sara's door," she said.

"You were. Sara is next door in mine," he said.

She smiled. "See you at seven."

Grissom returned to find Sara sitting on the edge of the bed.

"It was Jenny with directions," he said.

"You don't mind coming?" she asked.

"You don't mind if I come along?" he asked.

She smiled. "No."

The food arrived, and they sat there at his table and ate.

"I thought it would be nice to take a walk along the beach," he said.

Her head shot up.

"We did that a lot when I taught the seminar," he said.

"Yes, we did."

"We could sleep for awhile and then leave a little early to do that before dinner," he said.

She nodded.

"Good," he said.

She headed back to her room, and she hesitated for a moment before disappearing on the other side. He slipped off his shoes and then stretched out on his bed. He tried to listen for her,

but there was no sound coming from the other room. He rolled over and slept.

He woke a few hours later and found that his book had disappeared. He glanced over and saw her sitting in the doorway reading.

"Couldn't sleep?" he asked.

She shook her head.

She stood and placed the book back on the table.

He noticed she had placed a chair up against her door once again, but he said nothing.

"How often do you sleep?" he asked.

"I sleep," she said.

"You should sleep more," he said.

"So should you," she said.

He grinned.

She seemed more at ease when they reached the beach. Her eyes scanned the area and saw that little had changed. She slipped off her shoes and walked down to the water's edge. He

stood there and watched as she walked into the water.

It felt good to get out.

She glanced back to make sure he was still there before she ventured out further.

She remembered their walks, and it warmed her.

She had fallen in love with him the moment she saw him.

David had ended the relationship, but he showed up at the seminar anyway.

She sat there and hung on every word that came from Grissom's mouth.

She had such high hopes when they began spending so much time together.

David had been upset with the amount of time she was spending with Grissom.

She didn't care.

She did not love David.

She loved Grissom.

Each evening was spent with Grissom. Their routine consisted of a walk on the beach followed by dinner and then a walk in the park. He had held her hand as they walked.

_I was going to wait and then come to Vegas…_

_I was going to make him fall in love with me…_

_He cared already…_

_He did, didn't he?_

_He left and then…_

_It happened…_

_I almost lost myself, but he stayed in touch…_

_He asked me to come…_

_I did…_

_I couldn't get him to love me…_

_He didn't want me…_

_He's never going to love me…_

_David was right…_

"Sara?"

His voice startled her as she whirled around to find him standing behind her.

"You didn't answer," he said.

"What?"

"I've been calling," he said.

"I'm sorry. We uhm should be going," she said as she hurried past him.

She found her shoes and slipped them on making her way back to the rental.

She was sitting inside when he returned.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she said.

"You used to like the beach," he said quietly. "We spent a lot of time here. We were…"

"Good friends," she said almost mockingly.

He stared at her but she turned away.

The drive was done in silence.

Once they arrived, they walked up to the side gate where Jenny met them.

"Come around to the back," she said smiling. "If we're lucky, we won't be called in tonight. Brad and I haven't had a night off in a long time."

Scotty sat on a blanket on the ground.

Sara came over and stood.

He clapped his little hands together, and she laughed.

"Play with him," said Jenny. "I'll just be a moment with the drinks. What would you like?"

She wanted alcohol, but she chose tea.

Sara knelt down on the blanket, and Scotty crawled to her. She picked him up along with a toy and began to play with him.

"Sara is a natural with kids," said Brad.

"It would appear so," said Grissom watching the two together.

"Jenny tells me you're the reason Sara left San Francisco," said Brad.

"I had a vacancy in my unit," said Grissom.

"Must have been some promotion for her to leave all of her friends as well as the investigator three position."

"Investigator three?"

"Jenny said Sara was offered the position if she would stay, but she turned it down. Your lab must be pretty special," said Brad taking a sip of beer.

"It is…with her," said Grissom.

"David Hollister was mad when she left. He made our life hell for awhile. It doesn't help when you have a DA who doesn't like you."

Grissom was quiet.

"He and Sara were quite an item there for awhile, but then they split. He claims he dumped her, but the way he acted when she left…I think it was the other way around."

"How is he as DA?"

Brad looked at Grissom. "Let's just say you don't want to cross paths with him. He has friends in high places. It doesn't help when you're married to his sister."

Grissom's head jerked at the statement.

"Sara didn't tell you? Jenny's maiden name was Hollister. Let me tell you they didn't much care for me coming into the family," said Brad. "I didn't come from the right breed if you know what

I mean. I drink beer, and they drink champagne."

"Jenny doesn't seem to like her brother," said Grissom.

"She puts on a good act, but there's nothing she wouldn't do for David."

Grissom turned his attention to Sara who blew kisses on the baby's stomach as he squealed. Brad laughed at the spectacle.

"Sara, you're going to spoil him," he called out.

She smiled.

Dinner was finished, and then they sat outside on the deck. Sara sat in the rocker and listened about the changes in her old lab. Scotty began to whimper.

"It's time for his bed. He likes to be rocked," said Jenny. Sara started to stand, but the baby was plopped down into her lap before she could get up.

"You get the honors tonight," said Jenny.

"But…"

"He likes you," she said. "You would be good at this full time."

Sara pulled the baby up to her shoulder and patted his back. He snuggled into her shoulder, and she wrapped the blanket around him as she began to rock. She found herself unconsciously

humming. Within minutes the baby was asleep.

Grissom sat there and watched. Their eyes met briefly before she stood suddenly. "He's asleep," she said as she tried to hand him to Jenny.

"He might wake. Would you mind carrying him up to his room? It's the first door at the top of the stairs," said Jenny glancing at Brad.

Brad leaned in toward Grissom. "I think my wife is trying to get Sara to reconsider marriage."

"I didn't know Sara was opposed," said Grissom.

"Then why isn't she married by now?" asked Brad.

Grissom said nothing.

Sara quietly placed the baby in the crib and covered him up.

She stood there for a moment and patted his back to ensure he was still asleep.

She turned when she heard the door shut behind her.

David smiled. "I've been waiting for you."

Sara glanced around the room but knew there was no way out.

"David, move away from the door."

"I'm not blocking it," he said. "I just want to talk with you. Give me five minutes."

"Five minutes," she spat out.

"He's beautiful, isn't he?" he said coming to stand at the other end of the crib.

Sara glanced down at the sleeping baby.

"He could have been ours," he said softly. "Yours and mine."

"You broke off our engagement. You took it back as quickly as you asked as soon as I told you about my past. You knew your father would not approve. He already did not like that I did not

come from a prominent family."

"My mistake. I let my father tell me what to do. He was only looking out for my career. He's dead now. I'm sorry for hurting you."

"You raped me!"

"Sara, I admit I had a little too much to drink that night, but I was angry. You told Jenny you were in love with Gil Grissom."

"That didn't give you the right to come into my apartment uninvited. You broke in…"

"I had a key."

"Where did you get the key?"

"Jenny."

Sara shook her head. "Jenny never would have given you the key."

"Jenny did, just like she arranged for us to be alone long enough for me to explain things to you."

"You could never explain what you did to me."

"I don't recall you struggling. I joined you in bed, and you came to me. You kissed me."

"I didn't know it was you!"

David smiled. "You thought it was him? Grissom would never risk his career…"

"Shut up!"

"Ouch! I seem to have hit a sensitive spot. You know what I'm saying is the truth. I bet he's never even made a move."

He stepped closer and she backed towards the window.

"I didn't come here to fight. Sara, please. I've been miserable since you left. I still love you."

"You don't know what love is," she said.

"Yes, I do. I screwed up. I want to fix it. We can fix it tonight. We can get married. I have a judge standing by to marry us. In less than a month, you could be pregnant. Look at him, Sara. You could have everything you've ever wanted. I'm offering you my name and a future."

He stepped closer, but she backed further away.

"What do you have to show for the last five years?" he said angrily. "Nothing! No promotion…I heard he gave a promotion to another person rather than you. You left everything in San

Francisco to go to Vegas, and he doesn't even give you a promotion. What has he given you, Sara? Oh, the award. I was on the nominating committee. It cost me a pretty penny, but you

were worth it."

"What are you saying?"

"I bought that award for you. I then made sure the award ceremony would be held here, so I could see you again," he said.

Note from author:

Oh the suspense of it all...leave a review! I am checking back and forth as I am writing on another story and packing for my trip tomorrow. Don't worry. I plan to post regularly...I go no where without the laptop...

Take care,

Penny


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five:**

"That's a lie! Grissom and I…"

"It must really look good for the lab. You are such an asset. The lab needs you Sara, but what do you need?"

_How does he know all of this?_

_How did he know about the promotion I didn't get…_

_Those were Grissom's words…_

"The_ lab needs you"_

She stood there shaking her head as the tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Marry me, Sara. I kept the wedding ring," he said.

She watched as he pulled out the diamond ring.

"Let me put it on your finger," he said softly. "Please honey, let's not fight anymore."

"Don't touch me," she said. "I'd rather die than let you touch me ever again."

"Don't be mean," he said stepping forward.

She panicked.

She glanced toward the door and knew she would not make it without getting caught.

The door opened, and Grissom stepped in.

He glanced at David standing there with the ring in his hand as Sara stood there in tears.

"You seem to have very bad timing," said David as he put the ring away. "Sara, my offer still stands. Think about it. You know where to find me."

He quickly walked out.

Grissom stared at Sara.

"Are you alright? I saw you from below. You were backing away," he said.

She covered her mouth as she ran down the hall and disappeared into the bathroom. He could hear the vomiting.

He stood outside the door and waited until she came out.

"Better?" he asked.

"I want to leave," she said.

They walked out to the deck. Grissom was surprised when Sara walked past Jenny and Brad without saying a word.

"Sara! Sara, wait!"

"You never believed me, did you?" she turned and yelled at her.

"Sara..."

"You gave him the key, didn't you?"

"He said he wanted to talk with you. Sara…"

Jenny placed her hand on Sara's arm, but she shrugged it off.

She held her breath until they were driving away.

"I want to leave for Vegas tonight," she said.

"I'm not sure we can get a flight," he said.

"Fine, I'll rent a car and drive it," she said.

"Want to tell me what just happened back there?" he asked.

"Grissom, please!"

The desperation in her voice got his attention.

"We'll go by the hotel and get the luggage," he said. "We'll drive."

She leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes.

He was surprised when she burst into tears.

His hand quickly sought hers and held it tightly.

He made her sit in the car while he picked up the suitcases.

Once they were on the road, she seemed better.

"I'm sorry he hurt you," he said softly.

"I never want to see San Francisco again," she cried.

They were back at work within a day. Ecklie did not seem to mind they did not show up for work on time. Grissom insisted she take a night off before coming in.

A week passed, and she did not seem better.

She was quiet and kept to herself refusing dinner plans with the others.

He was worried.

He would be gone soon for the convention.

He told himself there would be time to talk with her, but he was not prepared for the Adam Trent case.

He stood there helplessly as she was held by knife point.

She struggled to get free; but it only angered Adam more, and the knife was held tighter against her throat.

_Don't make him angry, Sara…_

_Just sit still until we can get the key…_

Sara frantically glanced at the door, but it remained locked.

She could see the man struggling to find the key while Grissom stood there and watched.

Adam's hand slid down her arm and brushed up against her breast.

It sent her in panic mode, and they struggled once more.

She could see Grissom pleading with her to not struggle, but she did not care.

_I'd rather be dead than to let someone do that again…_

_I'd rather be dead…_

In a split second, Adam's attention was diverted by his mother.

Sara quickly jabbed her elbow in his ribs and ran for the door.

She did not stop until she was at the end of the hall.

He was soon there by her side.

She breathed in deeply and cursed.

She hated mental hospitals.

She hated mental patients.

She hated everything at the moment including herself.

_I didn't fight back that night…_

_I should have fought back…_

_Why didn't I fight back?_

He offered to take her off the case, but she refused.

She wanted to see it through.

She wanted to prove to herself that she would not fall apart.

She sat in the locker room and coughed.

Her throat hurt from the force of the hold by Adam.

She looked in the mirror, and already the area had turned black and green.

She removed her long sleeve shirt and found more bruising.

She jumped when she heard Warrick's voice.

"Sorry, Cookie, I didn't mean to sneak up on you. What the hell happened to you?" he asked when he saw the bruises.

"It's nothing," she said.

"It's something! Have you been checked out by a hospital?" he asked.

She shook her head.

Grissom had insisted, but she had refused.

"It's just bruises."

"Wait until tomorrow," he said taking a closer look. "It's just bruises right now. In twenty four hours, it will be much worse. Trust me. I used to work in a gym."

She coughed.

Already, her voice was becoming hoarse.

"Who did this?" he demanded.

"It was a case. I screwed up and turned my back. I never heard him come into the room…one minute I'm alone and then…" she coughed.

"Are you going to be alright?" he asked.

"I'm going home," she said.

"Listen, I've been meaning to talk with you. You haven't been yourself since you came back from San Francisco. You getting enough sleep?" he asked. "You look tired and worn down."

"I'm fine," she said.

"Take off a few days," he said.

"It's not necessary," she said pulling herself up.

"Take at least a day," he said.

She was stiff and sore.

She wanted nothing more than to soak in a tub and spend a few hours alone letting herself fall apart.

She had been getting good at doing that these days.

"A day," she said.

"Good. I'll tell Grissom. I doubt you'll be able to talk above a whisper tomorrow."

"Great," she muttered.

"Why don't you let me take you home?" he offered.

"That's not necessary," she said as she hid her trembling hands in her pockets.

"If you need anything, you call me," he said.

"Thanks, Warrick," she said as she left.

He searched for her, but she was nowhere to be found. Her report was sitting in his in basket already. He had wanted to reassure himself that she was fine. He knew she wasn't fine. She

had not been fine since they went to San Francisco. He told himself that once they were back things would return to normal, but it hadn't. She was even more distant, and he knew she was

still having problems with sleeping. The dark circles had returned, and she ate little. The weight was dropping but each time he tried to confront her, she refused to let him help.

Her rejection angered him, and he began keeping to himself again. Her silence was his irritation. He had cursed when the Adam Trent case was placed on his desk. He had wanted to take

anyone but Sara. Unfortunately there was no one else, and he had no one to blame but himself. He had purposely been restricting her from the field which only irritated them both.

She would argue, and he would stand there and watch helplessly as she tried to convince him she was fine when he knew she was slowly burning out. Tonight had scared the hell out of

him. He had watched as she was almost killed in front of him. Once she was free, he had wanted to shake her for being so careless and getting caught by Adam. He wanted nothing more

than to grab her and force her to see what she was doing to herself.

He made another search through the lab but could not locate her.

"Hey, Griss. I need to talk with you," called Warrick.

"Have you seen Sara?" he asked.

"That's what I needed to talk with you about," said Warrick. "I saw her in the locker room. She didn't look good. She didn't want me to notice, but she's pretty shaken up about what

happened tonight. I talked her into taking off tomorrow. She's going to be pretty sore. The bruises…"

"Bruises?" he asked suddenly.

"She has some nasty bruises around her neck and on her arms. She's hoarse from the bastard who grabbed her from behind," he said.

Grissom swore.

It surprised Warrick.

"She refused to be checked out at the hospital," he seethed. "I should have made her."

"She's not been herself lately. Any idea why?" asked Warrick.

He didn't know.

He wanted to know.

She wouldn't tell him.

"She won't talk with me," said Grissom. "She needs some time off."

"I agree. She has classic signs of burn out," said Warrick. "Maybe this will be a wakeup call for her."

"Thanks, Warrick."

He drove straight to her apartment. He needed to see for himself that she was fine. He knocked; but when there was no answer, he became alarmed. He waited a few minutes and began

the knocking again. When this did not work, he pulled out his cell and attempted to call her, but her phone had been turned off. He stood there not sure of what he should do. His fingers

pulled out his key chain, and he remembered the key she had given him years ago. He quickly unlocked the door and stepped inside locking it behind him.

He stood there and listened, but the apartment was quiet.

He stepped into the bedroom and saw her standing there with her back turned. She had just finished with a bath. The aroma of lavender was strong, and she wore nothing but a robe.

"Sara?"

She jumped as she turned reaching for her revolver that lay on the bedside table.

"It's just me," he said quickly.

She tried to slow her breathing but went into a fit of coughing. He knew she was angry by the look on her face.

"What the hell do you think you were doing?" she asked.

"I was worried. I tried knocking…even called you," he said. "Warrick told me about the bruises."

"It's nothing," she said pulling the robe tighter.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you," he said. "Mind if I take a look at those bruises?"

"Yes! I mind. It's nothing."

He grew angry. "You should have been checked out at the hospital. I should drag you there now."

She had not intended to take it out on him.

"I'm sorry, Griss. I'm fine really."

"You've not been fine for weeks," he yelled. "Maybe a week off would…"

"I'm taking a night off," she said.

"You need more than one night. I'll talk with Catherine," he said. "I leave right before next shift. I'll call and tell her to give you some time off. They can pull from swing…"

"No! I don't need the time off. I've just had some things to work through. I have. There's no need…really," she pleaded.

He didn't like it when she pleaded.

He nodded slowly, and she quickly rushed him to the door before he changed his mind.

"You're sure?" he asked.

"I'm good."

"Sleeping better?" he asked.

"Yes. I'm in bed as soon as you leave," she lied.

"Maybe I…"

"Don't worry. Your bug friends will be safe with me. I'll pop in every day and check on them," she said.

He started to leave but stopped. "You'd tell me if there was anything wrong, right?"

She trembled.

The lies were mounting.

"Yes, I would. That's what friends are for," she managed to get out. "We're friends."

She turned her face from view as she tried to compose herself.

His inner voice told him to stay, but it was obvious she wanted him to leave.

"Take off a night," he said.

"I will."

She shut the door and forced herself to keep it together long enough for him to be on his way.

Once he was gone, she placed a chair against the door and slid down into the floor.

_He's gone for two weeks…_

_I'm alone for two weeks…_

_I'm always alone…_

_Why did I go back to San Francisco?_

_Just when I was feeling better…_

_Grissom and I were…_

_We're just friends…_

_Friends doing research together…_

_The lab needs me…_

_I'm an asset to the lab…_

Note from author:

We are moving right along...I can't wait until you find out how this unfolds...I am squirming in my seat so hurry up with the reviews! LOL

Take care,

Penny


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six:**

She cleaned the apartment. When that was done, she curled up in a chair and stared at the door. She listened for footsteps and imagined she heard some a time or two, but there was none.

_I can't sit here and do nothing…_

_I need to work…_

_I need to keep my mind busy…_

She dressed and grabbed her keys.

He slept little that day. He sat there trying to reassure himself that she was fine.

_Something's not right with her…_

_Why won't she tell me?_

_It's about David Hollister…_

_Maybe she's having second thoughts about his proposal…_

_He proposed even though he was already engaged…_

_What kind of man proposes to one woman and then goes after another?_

They were surprised when she arrived to work the next shift. Warrick shook his head. He had intended to talk with Catherine, but everyone was needed on a case. She grabbed her kit and

headed out the door before he could stop her. Once they arrived, she stepped inside and stared at the crime scene. A man lay on the floor. He had been stabbed multiple times. Sara

watched as the blood began to run toward her shoe, and she stood there watching as it drew closer and closer. The sound of an officer's voice made her look up. A woman was sitting in the

next room. A blanket was wrapped around her. She was crying hysterically.

"We broke up weeks ago. I had him return the key, but he must have kept a copy. I came home from work…I didn't know he was in the house. He jumped me from behind…he wouldn't stop.

I begged and begged, but he wouldn't stop."

Sara listened.

_I came home that day…_

_I went to bed…_

_I heard the door…_

_I thought it was Grissom…_

_It was him…_

The woman's cries brought Sara back.

"I ran, and he chased me to the kitchen. I grabbed a knife and told him to leave, but he wouldn't. I just wanted him to stop touching me. I stabbed him…he kept coming, and I kept

stabbing."

Sara looked down and noticed the blood was now under her shoe.

She stepped back.

The blood continued its path.

"Stop!" she yelled.

"Sara?" asked Greg.

He looked down and saw the blood on her shoe.

"Stand still," he said as he came and wiped the blood from her shoe. "There, no contamination."

Sara stared down at her shoe.

"I never should have trusted Jenny. She gave him the key. I didn't. I wasn't ready."

She continued to stare down at the blood.

"Sara, are you alright?" asked Greg as he reached out to touch her arm.

She jerked away.

"Don't touch me!"

"I'm sorry. Come outside with me," he said. "Let's go outside."

She remained fixed on the spot and watched as the blood continued toward her.

"Sara, you have to step back," Greg said softly.

She gulped in air.

She gulped in more.

Her chest felt as if it were going to explode.

She tried to catch her breath but couldn't.

She looked at Greg in desperation.

"Come with me," he said urgently. "Sara, please!"

"I can't breathe," she managed to get out.

She felt herself falling to the floor.

He grabbed her and pulled her away from the scene.

Nick stepped in and grabbed Sara on the other side.

"What happened?" he asked Greg.

"Get her out now!" yelled Greg.

She knelt on the grass and gasped for air.

"Breathe, Sara! Breathe in and out," said Greg. "She needs medical attention."

"Doc! Get over here!" yelled Nick.

"What happened?' he asked as he knelt down beside Sara.

She felt the cool grass on her body as she slumped down.

Someone was taking her pulse, and she stared into Doc's eyes.

"Lie still," he said softly. "Nick, get a blanket."

He returned quickly with a blanket.

"What's wrong with her?" asked Nick.

"Anxiety attack," he said. "Sara, can you hear me?"

She continued to struggle to breathe.

"Sara, you're making it worse. Calm down. Listen to me…" Doc searched the crime scene. "Where's Grissom?"

"He's gone…convention…his flight left tonight," said Greg.

"Get Brass!" yelled Doc.

He was there within minutes.

"I got the call that a CSI was down. What happened?" he yelled as he jumped out of his vehicle.

"It's Sara," called Nick.

Brass hurried and bent over.

"How is she?" he asked quickly.

"Anxiety attack. She's not listening. Try to get her to calm down," said Doc.

"Sara?"

When she did not respond, he quickly sat down and pulled her into his arms. "I've got you Sara. You need to breathe in slowly. Take slow deep breaths," he said calmly.

She clung to him.

"Jim?"

"I'm here kiddo."

Brass looked at Doc.

"Better," he said. "Keep her quiet for a few minutes, and then we'll try to move her."

She lay there as she focused on breathing.

"Feeling better?" asked Brass.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I don't know what happened."

"You're finished for the night," said Brass.

She nodded. "I'm sorry."

"Stop pushing yourself," said Brass.

She nodded. "So sorry."

He hugged her tightly. "Shut up and just be still."

He kissed her on the forehead. "You scared the hell out of me."

"I'm…"

"No talking. Just sit," he said.

She nodded once more.

She was on her feet within an hour.

She was pulled over to his vehicle as he stood there staring at her.

"Go home," he said.

"I will," she said. "I'll go home. I'll be better tomorrow."

He fumed but said nothing.

"Let me take you home," he said.

"I'm fine. I can drive myself," she said.

"You could barely breathe an hour ago…couldn't walk. You're not fine!" he yelled.

"I wouldn't drive if I didn't think I was fine…I'm fine," she said.

"Sara…"

He watched as she drove away before pulling out his phone and calling Grissom.

"Tell me you haven't left yet," said Brass.

"What's wrong?" asked Grissom.

"It's Sara."

"What happened?" he yelled over the intercom announcing his flight.

"Anxiety attack," he said. "She flipped out at a crime scene. She's in no condition to work. Gil, you've got to convince her to take some time off."

"She wasn't supposed to be working tonight! Where is she?" he asked angrily.

"I sent her home."

"She's taking time off if I have to suspend her," he yelled.

"Was that your flight being called?" asked Brass.

"I have to get her out of town. She needs help," said Grissom.

"You have two weeks," said Brass quietly.

"It seems she just got two weeks of leave also," he said.

"Take her to the cabin," said Brass. "I would do it myself, but she needs you."

"I've tried. She won't talk to me," said Grissom.

"Try harder! She's not well. I'm worried."

"Jim, as far as everyone else is concerned, I'm at the convention."

"Have a good trip. Keep me informed."

He cursed when he arrived at her apartment, but she was not there. He sat there for an hour, but she did not show. He arrived at the townhouse and was surprised to find her car parked

out front. He stepped inside and found her curled up on the couch clutching his pillow. He sat down across from her and gently reached over and touched her cheek.

She jumped.

"Sorry. I seem to be doing that a lot lately. Want to tell me why you're here?" he asked.

"I uhm sorry. I came to check on your bug friends…you should be on a plane," she said sitting up.

"You should be at home asleep."

"Why…"

"Jim called me. He's worried about you. I am too."

"I uhm I don't know what to say," she said trying to keep her composure.

"Try telling me the truth," he said. "You're not fine."

"No, I'm not," she whispered.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I can't sleep…I can't eat…I can't think anymore…when this happened before, all I had to do was work…a couple of doubles, and I would be fine. It's not working. I'm scared Grissom."

He let out a deep sigh.

It was a start.

"Wait here. I need to repack," he said.

"Repack?"

He could see the fear in her eyes.

"Sara, do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Good. I'm going to pack some things; and when I'm done, we're going to your place. Then you're going to pack."

"Pack?"

"You're on medical leave for two weeks."

"Two weeks!"

"You need to get away."

"I don't want to go alone…"

"You won't. I'll be with you."

He took her hand and tried to stop the trembling.

"You're coming with me to the cabin…It's a place I go sometimes.

He stood and then sat back down.

"We're going to work through this…together."

She nodded.

They were on the road within hours.

With each mile, she grew apprehensive.

"You should be at the convention," she said.

"I'll go next year. Besides, we get to spend some time together."

He looked for her reaction, but she turned away.

_You don't want to be with me…_

_Not after I tell you…_

_Why is my past so complicated?_

_David took back his proposal when I told him about my parents…_

_He was afraid of a scandal during an election…_

_He didn't want to marry me…_

_He just wanted…_

"The unit will be shorthanded," she said as she folded her hands in front of her to keep them from shaking.

It didn't work.

"Swing is helping out. Two weeks…no phone calls…no lab…no cases…Sara?"

She breathed in deeply.

"Look at me," he said gently.

She turned and their eyes locked.

"It's not much further," he said. "I'm going to stop for supplies."

She nodded.

She folded her arms.

"You okay?"

She shook her head.

"What's wrong?"

"I uhm…I need to work. I don't do well in the middle of nowhere," she said.

"You'll be fine," he said grinning. "Fresh air, a little fishing, walks, sleep and…"

"I don't sleep," she said.

"You will."

"No, I won't. I don't know how anymore."

"When was the last time you've slept?"

"I don't remember," she said.

She followed him throughout the store as he put things in a buggy.

He asked for her input every now and then.

She would nod or shake her head.

She shuffled along behind him as he tried to decide meals.

"What do you eat?" he asked.

"I don't," she said.

He filled the buggy with fresh vegetables and went in search of tofu.

"I'm not sure they have tofu," he said.

"Fish," she said.

He smiled. "I like fish."

Once the shopping was completed, they were on the road again. The shopping had exhausted her. She leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes.

"Try to sleep," he said.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked suddenly.

"Because I… care about you," he said.

"Oh."

She turned away and stared out the window.

_I should have told her I loved her…_

_I do…_

_What am I going to do when she admits she still loves David Hollister?_

Note from author:

You didn't think I would let him leave her alone for two weeks...now that would be cruel...oh that's in the next story...LOL

Leave a review so we can continue!

Take care,

Penny


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven:**

They arrived that evening.

He began unloading the Denali. She offered to help, but he insisted that she sit in the front porch swing. She felt out of sorts as she watched him make several trips to the vehicle. Once he was done, he took her hand and led her inside.

"Brass and I found this place a few years ago. I purchased it later. I come up here every now and then," he said. She looked around the room and saw a beautiful fireplace with a couch and chair. The kitchen was to the right. It consisted of a small table and chairs. There was a door to the left, and she stared at it.

"This is the bedroom," he said. She stepped inside and saw a bed along with a small bedside table. There was a bathroom off to the right. She glanced around and did not see another bedroom.

"One bedroom," he said.

She said nothing.

She walked to the fireplace and ran her fingers across the wooden mantel.

"I'll start a fire in a few minutes," he said. "What would you like for dinner?"

"I'm not…"

"I'll start on dinner now," he said as he went to the kitchen.

"I can help," she said.

They made salads for the first night, and he frowned when she stabbed at the lettuce, but none disappeared.

"Better get that fire," he said. "It will be chilly tonight."

Soon there was a fire.

She sat there in the floor and watched it burn.

"Feeling better?' he asked.

"Yes," she said.

He sat down on the couch.

An hour passed and nothing was said.

"Sara?"

She turned and looked at him.

"What happened in San Francisco?" he asked.

"You were there," she said quietly.

"No, I wasn't."

She turned back toward the fire.

"As I recall, when I came to San Francisco to give the seminar, you were not dating anyone."

"I wasn't," she said.

"Then that means you and David were no longer…"

"I don't want to talk about him," she said suddenly.

"I think that's part of the problem," he said.

"I'm not talking about him," she said adamantly.

"Okay. Tell me what's bothering you," he said. "Unless you're better, you're not returning to work. If you would prefer to talk with a PEAP counselor then…"

"I've done that. I'm not doing that again. They're only interested in…"

"The lab?"

She nodded.

"Talk with a private counselor," he said.

"No!"

"Talk with me," he said.

"Did you lock the door?" she asked suddenly.

"Yes, I did. There's no one around for miles," he said.

"You look tired," she said. "You can turn in."

"I am tired, but you need to sleep."

"You sleep."

"You were having problems with sleeping in San Francisco," he said.

She nodded.

"Have you tried sleeping?" he asked.

"Yes!" she said irritated. "I go through the same routine after each shift, and I can't shut down. I take a shower, I get into bed, I close my eyes and…"

"Nightmares?"

"I'd rather stay awake," she whispered.

"Come with me," he said.

He stood and extended his hand.

"Take a shower," he said.

She grabbed her things and stepped into the shower. The water felt good as she washed her hair. Once she was done, she stepped out and dressed quickly. She returned to the fire. He disappeared for a few minutes and returned.

He had showered and changed.

"What's next?" he asked.

"I uhm get into…You take the bed. I'll take the couch," she said.

"No, Sara. We're in this together," he said.

She stared at him.

"Sleep with me," he said softly as he extended his hand.

She laughed.

She stood there and shook her head as she laughed and then began to cry uncontrollably.

"I've lost it," she said sitting on the couch. "I'm one step away from joining Adam Trent. Do you know how long I've waited for you to say that?"

"Five years?" he asked.

She pulled her legs up and buried her head. "I can't. I don't want to sleep."

"Everyone has to sleep," he said quietly.

He took her hand and pulled her up.

His hand trembled as he led her to the bedroom.

She halted when she saw the bed.

"Have a preference?" he asked.

She shook her head.

He pulled down the covers and soon they were in bed. The room was dark except for the light emanating from the fireplace. He rolled over to face her. She lay there on her back looking up at the ceiling.

"Close your eyes," he whispered.

She did.

She could feel his breath mere inches from her.

She could feel the warmth of his body as it lay next to her.

_I can do this…_

_I can lie here…_

_Pretend to sleep…_

_I don't want to sleep…_

_The dreams will come…_

_He'll hear my screams…_

_I hear them…_

_It's what wakes me…_

She struggled to get up but he held her back down.

"Sara lay back," he said.

She turned and stared at him.

"Griss, please," she said. "I need to get up."

"You need to sleep. I'm right here…"

She jumped up and hurried out of the bedroom.

She stood there with arms folded in front of the fireplace.

He stared at her.

"I can't do it," she said.

"You have to try," he said.

She shook her head.

He sat down on the couch and extended his hand.

She sat down next to him.

"Griss, you don't have to stay up with me. Get some sleep."

"Come with me," he said.

She said nothing further but sat there staring into the fire.

The room was soon warm and the only light came from the fire.

She rested her head on the back of the couch.

She was surprised they were sitting so close together.

She shifted so that she was facing him.

She glanced into his eyes and he smiled.

"You could lie down if you want," he said softly.

"I'm good," she said trying to stifle a yawn.

He frowned but sat there quietly.

"I'm sorry you missed the convention," she said.

"There will be others. Besides, I like coming here," he said.

"It's beautiful," she said.

"I have some things I want to show you," he said. "I think you'll like it."

She nodded.

He shifted on the couch and she found herself leaning against him.

She closed her eyes and she felt him shift once more until his arm was draped around her.

Her head now rested on his chest.

She breathed in deeply and her senses reeled.

His scent was intoxicating.

He reached for the light blanket that hung over the edge of the couch and placed it over them.

"Close your eyes," he whispered.

She couldn't.

She wanted to savor every second in his arms.

The cabin was quiet except for the crackling of the fire.

Hours passed and she glanced up to find he had fallen asleep.

She pulled the blanket up around them.

"I wish I could be what you wanted me to be," she whispered. "I wish you could love me the way I love you…even if it was for only a day…all of this would be worth it." She quickly glanced

at him but he was fast asleep.

She swiped at her tears and hugged her body tighter to his.

She listened for every sound in the cabin.

It was very peaceful.

It was nothing like her apartment.

She wondered how long she could maintain some resemblance of balance before falling utterly apart.

She shivered.

_He's going to see how weak I really am…_

Note from author:

Alone in a cabin, cuddled up next to Grissom...Everyone take a deep breath and then exhale...Was it as good for you as it was for me? LOL Please leave a review.

Take care,

Penny


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight:**

Day One:

His head shot up from the nap, and she was still there beside him. The fire was almost out. He stood and stretched as he put more wood on the fire and then made breakfast. He could tell she had not slept. He placed the plate in front of her, but she stared at the food.

"Sara, you have to eat something," he said.

"I ate last night," she said.

"Not really. You need to eat," he said. "We're going to take a walk this morning."

The thunder shook the cabin followed by the lightning.

"A walk in the rain?" she asked.

"We'll read," he said. "Maybe you can take a nap."

She picked at the food moving it from place to place on her plate, but he knew she had not eaten any of it.

He sat down on the couch with a book.

She walked around the cabin.

She was restless.

He knew it.

"This isn't working," she said. "We should go back."

"It's the first day. Give it some time," he said as he continued to read.

She stared into the fire.

"Why don't you read?" he asked.

"I uhm can't focus," she said.

_I see the words but they mean nothing…_

_Nothing means anything…_

_I'm drowning…_

_I can't pull myself back up…_

_He took so much from me…_

_Just like he's doing now…_

_Get up and do something Sara…_

_He's right there on the couch…_

_You've dreamed of getting away with him…_

_Do something…_

"Have you slept with a lot of women?" she blurted out.

Grissom's eyes shot over the book to lock with hers.

"I've had a few relationships," he said.

"You uhm ever been involved with anyone for a long time?" she asked as she stepped closer to the couch.

"Yes."

"Years?"

"Yes."

"You like being in a relationship?" she asked.

"It has its advantages," he said.

"What advantages?" she asked.

"Not being alone, spending time with someone, feeling wanted and needed…"

She sat down at the other end of the couch.

"Sex?"

He swallowed hard.

His pulse quickened.

"I prefer making love."

"Making love is sex."

"Sex without love is sad."

It stung.

She turned back toward the fire.

The conversation ended.

Lunch came and went.

She refused to eat.

The storm continued outside.

It was not better inside.

She sat in a chair and stared at nothing.

His eyes watched her from a distance.

Dinner came.

He grew angry when she pushed the plate away.

"You won't get better if you don't try," he said.

"You can't fix me," she spat out.

"Do you need to be fixed?" he asked.

"You tell me," she said.

"You just need to eat and sleep," he said quietly.

"I can still do my job," she said.

"You can't continue without…"

"I've been doing it for weeks," she said.

"It ends now," he said.

"Or what?" she demanded.

"Sara, your body can't continue like this," he said.

"You're afraid I won't be an asset to the lab anymore!"

"I'm afraid for you," he said softly.

Silence returned.

She glanced at the clock and picked up a book.

She opened it and pretended to read.

"You should shower before bed," he said.

She ignored him.

"Sara, keep to the routine," he said.

She did but then returned to the chair and opened the book again.

"You need to try to sleep," he said.

"You go."

He was there in two strides.

He pulled her up and once again they were lying in bed.

"Sleep," he said.

She rolled over to face him.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked.

_Because I love you…_

_Because I can't stand to see what you're doing to yourself…_

_He's not worth it Sara…_

_Please, don't do this to yourself…_

"You need help," he said.

"I don't need your help," she snapped.

"Then sleep. Eat three meals every day and sleep. Do this for a week, and we'll leave."

She couldn't.

She burst into tears.

"Sara…"

"I can't fix me anymore," she whispered.

"Let me help," he said.

She nodded.

"Close your eyes," he said.

She did.

He listened to her breathing.

It became labored, and he felt her shiver.

Her eyes shot open.

"Is the door locked?" she asked.

"You're safe," he whispered. "Close your eyes."

Her eyes closed.

_Sex without love is sad…._

_He doesn't know what happened…_

_He won't understand why I let him get away with it…_

_He'll know I'm weak…_

_I'm used…_

_Sex is sad…_

She inched away from him. He pretended he didn't notice. She lay there and wanted to open her eyes and watch him.

_It's Grissom…_

_Not David…_

_David is not here…_

_He'll never be able to touch me again…_

_He had sex with me…_

_It was against my will…_

_I didn't want him…_

She rolled over, and she felt him move closer. It frightened her.

_It's Grissom…_

_Not David…_

_I thought it was Grissom that night…_

_It was David…_

"_I'm your first"_

"_Don't ever forget that"_

She tried to get up, but his arm caught her by the waist and kept her down.

"Sara, lie still."

Her hand covered her mouth as she scrambled to get up.

His arms were strong.

"Don't! Stop, please," she cried.

He quickly released her, and she was back into the other room before he could get out of bed.

He sighed.

She had lasted an hour.

He stepped into the room and said nothing as she sat there in the floor.

Her arms were wrapped around herself as she stared into the fire.

"You lasted an hour," he said quietly.

He sat down in the floor and leaned up against the couch.

"Want to tell me what happened in there?" he asked.

She shook her head.

He sighed.

The rain continued.

Note from author:

They have a long way to go...I am leaving at noon and will be on the road for several hours I plan to release two chapters back to back so please remain on an honor system and review each one. Once I get settled and the reviews have come in, I will post again.

Take care,

Penny


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine:**

**Day two:**

He tempted her with breakfast but once again she refused.

It made him angry.

"You're not trying," he said.

"This isn't working," she said. "Take me to town, and I'll rent a car. I want to go back."

"No."

"You can't keep me here against my will," she said.

He couldn't.

"If you go back, you can't work."

"Yes, I can."

"No, you can't."

She fumed.

He tossed her an apple.

She wanted to throw it at him.

Their eyes locked.

She began to pace as he sat there with book in hand.

"Sara, sit down."

"I can't just sit here," she said.

He put the book down.

"Let's talk."

"You never wanted to talk before," she scoffed.

"Try me."

She sat there and faced him.

"What do you look for in a woman?" she asked.

He thought a nice walk in the cold rain wasn't such a bad idea.

He started to answer but found his voice failing him.

He cleared his throat.

"Someone who is strong"

_I'm weak…_

"Intelligent"

_I was stupid to let David get away with what he did…_

"Beautiful"

_I'm plain…_

"Someone who doesn't let others use them."

_David used me…_

She curled up at the end of the couch and hid herself from him.

"Through with the questions?" he asked.

She nodded.

"What do you look for in a man?" he asked.

"Someone who won't hurt me."

His heart went out to her.

"Have you been hurt before?" he asked.

"I choose men that don't want me."

He dropped the book.

_I want you…_

_I've always wanted you…_

She sat there and stared at the lunch in front of her.

_He likes women who are strong…_

_I used to be strong…_

She took a bite.

She took another one.

She forced another bite, but already her stomach was revolting.

She closed her eyes and took another bite.

She was rushing to the bathroom as her fork fell to the floor.

He tapped on the door.

"You okay?"

"Leave me alone," she said.

He sat down on the bed and waited.

She emerged an hour later.

"We'll try bland food for dinner."

She said nothing but headed for the door.

Her hand went to the knob, and she checked it.

It was locked.

She tried again at dinner.

Her hands shook as the spoon made its way to her lips.

She sipped slowly.

She managed to get most of the soup down.

He smiled.

He seemed hopeful.

She seemed doubtful.

The evening routine began.

She had already showered. She could hear him in the bathroom. She headed toward the fire but stopped and sat down on the bed. He was surprised to find her there when he opened the door.

"You want to try to sleep alone?" he asked.

She shook her head.

She pulled back the covers and slid in. He did the same.

They faced each other.

"When you came to San Francisco, we went out to dinner every night. You kissed me…you even held me," she said.

"Yes, I did."

"Why?" she asked.

He stared at her.

"I was attracted to you."

"You asked me to come to Vegas, and I did. You never kissed me again. Why?"

"I'm your boss."

"Are you still attracted to me?"

He didn't want to answer.

_Like a moth to a flame…_

She knew the answer.

He wasn't.

_Just friends…_

She knew she was supposed to close her eyes.

She couldn't.

She wanted to talk.

"Jenny and I went through the academy. I didn't know she came from a wealthy family. I just liked her. We became the best of friends. She introduced me to David. His father never liked me.

He didn't think I was good enough to marry David. I wasn't looking for a proposal. I was still trying to sort out my feelings. He proposed one night. It caught me off guard. I refused. I told

him he didn't know me well enough, but he wouldn't take no for an answer. I uhm told him about my parents. He ended our relationship that night."

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"I didn't care. I was actually relieved. I didn't love him. I tried…I couldn't."

Grissom was confused.

"You didn't love him?"

"You came to San Francisco," she said.

"You wore your hair in a pony tail. You seemed happy."

"I was. I was no longer worrying about David and his family…Jenny and I were still friends."

"I liked our walks on the beach," he said.

"I was happy," she whispered.

_Me too…_

"I uhm told Jenny about you. I told her I wanted to relocate to Vegas. I uhm wanted to work with you. She told David."

"He didn't want you to leave," said Grissom.

"He showed up at work one day. We went to lunch…just as friends. He asked me if I had…"

"Had what?"

"Had slept with you," she said. "I told him it was none of his business. He got angry. It was ugly. He was livid. I told Jenny I didn't want to see him anymore. I avoided him for days. You said you might be coming back to San Francisco on a case. I told you to let yourself in."

"I remember. You gave me the key before I left for Vegas."

"Sara, did David…"

"Did you want to sleep with me?"

He swallowed hard.

_God, Sara, I want you so much…_

"Yes. Sara, did he…"

"Why didn't you?"

"I didn't want to sleep with you knowing I would be returning to Vegas."

"You could have…I would have…let you."

"I know. The key meant a lot to me. I still have it."

"You brought me to Vegas," she said softly.

"Yes, I did," he said as he gently reached out and pulled up the covers since he thought he saw a slight tremor.

"Why?"

"I needed you."

"For the lab," she said sadly.

"Sara, I…."

She started to roll away when he reached out and grabbed her wrist.

Fear flashed in her eyes.

He quickly let go.

"I wanted you, Sara."

"Not enough to have me," she said sadly.

"I uhm…"

"Time to try to sleep," she said as she shut her eyes quickly.

She lay there and let his hand caress her arm. It slid down gently letting the finger tips touch her slightly. Her breathing became ragged.

She wanted him.

She felt herself moving toward his touch. The fingers began a slow descent. It traveled past her arm, and she sucked in air when she felt it rest for a second on her hip but continued its

descent. His hand followed the curves of her body, and soon she was snuggled up next to him.

She felt her body relaxing as he continued the soft strokes.

She yawned.

He smiled.

She let herself fully rest, no longer caring if she fell asleep.

She felt herself drifting off.

It felt good.

She moved in closer, and his arms wrapped around her.

She sighed as she slipped deeper into slumber.

"I brought you to Vegas because I couldn't give you up," he said softly.

"_I couldn't give you up"_

She told herself not to panic.

_That was David..._

_He said that..._

She told herself it was Grissom.

Grissom rolled over and kissed her on the forehead.

"You're mine," he whispered.

Covers flew in the air as she made her way out of the bed.

He let her go.

He sat there and cursed when he heard her walk toward the front door. He quickly got up and hurried into the other room. A chair was now propped up against the door. He looked over and saw her sitting on the couch.

"Sara…"

"You sleep," she said.

He sat down beside her.

He waited until her breathing had slowed and she no longer seemed as if she would bolt at the first chance.

"Let's talk," he said.

"Have you ever asked someone to marry you?" she asked.

He stared at her strangely.

"No."

"Haven't you ever loved someone?" she asked. She answered herself before he could reply.

"Of course you have. You said you've made love to other women. It was women, right?"

"Yes, it was."

He grinned.

Silence passed between them.

"I never loved anyone deeply enough to marry them," he said.

"Oh."

"Have you had sex…just sex?" she asked suddenly.

"Yes."

"Did you enjoy it?" she asked.

"Yes."

"So sex isn't so bad," she said.

"It's not as pleasurable as making love," he said. "Sex is just physical. Making love is physical and emotional."

She was quiet.

"Sara, have you ever had sex?"

He couldn't believe they were having such a conversation.

"Yes"

"Did you enjoy it?"

"It hurt."

Red flags went up in his head.

"How?"

"Do you think you could ever forget your first…the first time you were with someone?" she whispered.

"I couldn't."

She looked at him.

"It was Stephanie Powers."

"Who was your first?"

The words floated between them.

"David."

He felt a kick in his gut.

He had hoped it was someone other than David.

note from author:

We're making progress...I have loaded several chapters in case I don;t have internet access in my room. I can still post from a local area but if for some reason I can't post until I return on Sunday I will release four chapters at once. I will try to proof read as quickly as possible!

Take care,

Penny


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten:**

**Day Three:**

He was tired.

He had meant to lie down on the couch to rest but woke a few hours later. He jumped up when he noticed the door was unlocked, and she was nowhere to be seen. He quickly stepped out

onto the front porch and found her sitting in the swing.

He sighed out loud.

"Come inside and have breakfast," he said.

Breakfast was a failure.

She didn't even try.

Lunch was added to the list of disasters for the day when she refused to even sit down at the table. She said very little that day even though he had initiated several conversations that were ignored.

"You were making progress," he said as they argued about dinner.

"No, I wasn't."

"Yes, you were," he said.

He stared at her.

"Have dinner with me?" he asked.

Anger flashed in her eyes.

"I remember asking you that, but you turned me down."

"I'm sorry. I'm asking you now."

"No."

His jaw twitched.

"How does it feel to be rejected?"

"It hurts."

She turned away.

He dreaded bedtime.

Nothing had gone right.

She took a shower without being reminded.

She even waited for him in bed.

He sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I'll sleep on the couch," he said. "Maybe you could sleep if I wasn't here."

He started to get up, but she reached for him.

"Don't leave me," she begged.

He sat back down.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

She pulled the covers back, and he slid in beside her.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I haven't been myself today."

"Try to sleep."

She closed her eyes and waited for him to touch her, but he didn't.

He kept his distance.

He felt her inch closer to him.

He did the same.

She curled up beside him, and her head fit perfectly on his shoulder.

His hand gently stroked her hair.

She moved closer resting her hand on his chest.

It felt nice.

His hand continued to make gentle strokes.

Her hand made circular motions on his chest, and he became aroused.

He slightly edged away.

She moved until her leg rested over his.

Her breast now lay on his chest.

He breathed in deeply.

_Go to sleep Sara…_

_Just sleep…_

_You need to sleep…_

He felt her lips kiss his chest.

His body tingled.

She reached up and kissed him on the lips.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," she whispered.

"Try to sleep," he replied.

Her head rested once more on his chest, but her hand began to roam down his body. He caught it and gently placed a light kiss on the palm before returning it to its original resting place.

It did not stay there.

It was roaming again.

It slid down his chest sending quivers down his back.

He rose up on his elbow only to have her drag him down for a kiss. At first it was soft, but then her tongue sought entrance, and he groaned when his body reacted. He intended to return t

he kiss and then stop, but he couldn't. His arms snaked around her body pulling it tightly against his. She could feel his arousal, and she pulled his body down on hers.

"Sara, you need to sleep," he whispered.

"Have sex with me," she begged.

He lost all logical thought for a moment.

"Close your eyes, and try to sleep…Sara don't do that."

Her hand slid down between them, but he grabbed her wrist before she could touch him.

One touch and he knew he might lose control and complete the task she wanted.

He didn't want to have sex with her.

He wanted to make love to her.

Warning bells went off in her head, but she pushed it aside letting him bring her wrist back.

_It's Grissom…_

_He wouldn't hurt me…_

_He's only holding one wrist…_

"Just sex…no strings attached. No one has to know," she whispered.

He couldn't.

_I would know…_

_How do I do that and not want you again…_

_I would always want you…_

_I do want you…_

"You deserve more than just sex," he whispered.

"Please," she said.

She quickly kissed him again pulling him back down on top of her. He tried to pull himself back up, but she deepened the kiss. Her tongue darted in and out, and he lost his balance. His

hands slid her gown up so he could caress her abdomen, and she moaned. He kissed her that time as his fingers caressed her inner thigh. She positioned herself and purposely rubbed her

body against his shaft. He let out a groan. His fingers slipped beneath the panties and dipped gently inside her.

It was sheer pleasure as she arched her body toward him. He kissed her lips and then her cheeks followed by her neck. She clung to him as his head slipped down, and his lips planted soft

kisses on her left breast.

Her hands combed through his hair, and she moaned when his fingers dipped deeper inside her. Her senses were in overdrive as he continued to slowly manipulate his hand between her

thighs. Her breathing quickened, and her body was impatient. She wanted more. The feeling was intense, and she pulled him back down for another kiss.

He knew they were getting carried away. He knew if he didn't stop soon he would be inside her. He needed to stop. He didn't want to stop. He wanted to plunge deeply inside her and

release both of them from this agony.

"Sara, we need to stop," he said.

Her mind refused to listen.

She wanted more.

She wanted release.

He withdrew his hand and frustration hit.

It was forceful, and it was powerful.

He saw the look of hurt and disappointment.

He kissed her.

It was a mistake.

She kissed him as if her life depended on that single kiss. He could do nothing but respond. Tongues collided together, and they both gasped from the power of it. Her hand grabbed his

erection, and he cursed inwardly. He quickly grabbed the wrist; but she tried with the other, and he grabbed it as well. He straddled her with her arms pinned to the bed.

"Lie still."

The past slammed into reality.

"Let go of me," she said.

He saw the fear in her eyes.

"Did David hurt you?" he asked quickly.

She tried to break free.

"Sara," he said softly. "Look at me."

She did.

"I won't hurt you."

He released a wrist while his free hand gently stroked her hair.

"I would never hurt you," he whispered as he leaned down and kissed her gently on the lips.

She relaxed.

He released the other wrist but not before kissing the palm of her hand. He rolled over but pulled her up next to him.

"Sleep," he whispered.

"I'm scared," she whispered.

"Of what?" he asked.

"The dreams," she said.

"What do you dream?"

"I dream about…David," she whispered.

His pulse quickened as a sickening feeling overcame him.

"Do you miss him?" he managed to get out.

"I hate him," she cried as she gulped back the tears.

"Sara, what happened?" he asked.

She said nothing as she lay there.

He silently fumed.

"Try to sleep," he whispered.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked.

"I've already told you. I care about you."

"The lab needs me," she said. "You need me for the lab."

"I'm not here as a boss. I'm here as a…."

"Friend…just friends…that's all we've ever been."

"Sara…"

She swallowed hard.

"Why can't you love me?" she asked. "All I ever wanted was your love. I didn't care about the job…I came to Vegas for you not the lab. I've loved you ever since I met you."

He was not prepared for the revelation.

He had hoped.

"Sara…"

She pulled herself up and sat on the edge of the bed.

She breathed in deeply as she struggled to compose herself.

David's words swirled around in her head.

She wanted nothing more than to cease to exist at that moment.

She had told him how she felt.

She had placed her heart there on a platter before him, and now he would reject her like he had always done.

She didn't blame him.

She was weak.

She wasn't strong.

She was a shell of a person.

David had done that to her.

She had trusted him.

She had not loved him but she could have.

She could have learned to love him.

She could have adjusted.

She could have settled for him.

She met Grissom.

She knew she could not settle for David.

David knew it as soon as she told him.

He raped her.

He took what she wanted to give to Grissom.

She shivered.

A fear far worse than the rape enveloped her.

Her declaration of love had slipped out without a single thought.

Before, she would have been careful with each utterance around him but not now.

_How could I have been so careless!_

_I was careless before…_

_I should have reacted…_

_I should have done something…_

_I should have stopped David…_

Note from author:

What do you think Grissom is going to do?? I know... what a stopping point...hang in there. Leave a review!

Take care,

Penny


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven:**

Memories of that night returned.

_His hands pinned hers down and she tried to break free but couldn't._

"_Sara, I love you. Just relax. Let me…"_

"_Stop!"_

_His eyes grew cold._

"_You've already been with him haven't you?" he sneered._

"_David, please. Let me go," she cried._

"_You slut! He comes to town and within a week you have him between your legs. We've been dating for almost a year and you've never let me touch you!"_

"_That's not true. I never…please don't…" she sobbed._

"_Did you have sex with him?" he yelled._

"_No!"_

"_You thought it was him crawling into bed with you. Didn't you?" he yelled._

_His hands lifted her by the wrists and shoved her into the bed. His fingernails bit into her skin, and she felt her wrist pop._

"_Didn't you!"_

"_Yes!"_

_His mouth came down on hers; and she tried to pull away, but he was too strong. Her knee came up, but his thigh pushed her back down. She felt him enter her, and she cried out in pain. She tried to pull back, but he thrust deeper causing her to scream out. The pain was intense, and it burned. _

_He stopped immediately._

"_Sara?"_

_She sobbed uncontrollably._

"_Didn't think you were still a virgin. I wouldn't have…hold still," he said._

_She did._

_She thought he was going to stop, but then he continued, and she cried out only to have his mouth muffle the cries._

She breathed in deeply again and felt the anxiety rising.

She remembered the feelings of helplessness and the loss of control as he stripped the gown from her and burrowed himself into her as she screamed for him to stop. It had been rough

and forceful, and she bit her lower lip until the taste of copper sickened her. She shut her eyes and shut down as he finished and then lay there on top of her. She did not want to see what

she had lost to him.

_His head rested beside hers. He kissed her gently this time. _

_His eyes met hers._

_His eyes were wet._

_He had been crying._

_She felt odd as if something had broken inside her._

_There was little pain._

_She felt him looking at her body, and she shut her eyes tight to hide her soul from him._

_He released a wrist as his hand wiped her cheeks._

"_I couldn't give you up. I don't give a damn what my father thinks. You're mine. Not Grissom's. Mine."_

_An anger rose inside her._

_She struck at him with her loose hand._

"_I said stop," she cried. "I said stop!"_

"_Sara?"_

"_Get off me!"_

"_I'm sorry I was a little rough. I'm not used to virgins."_

"_You raped me!"_

"_Your body is mine to take when I want," he sneered._

"_Get off me!"_

"_Don't fight it. You want it as much as I do."_

_She slapped him, and she felt his knee to her ribs. She gasped for air. She screamed when he ground himself back into her. She tried to shove him off, but he shoved her back into the bed and then _

_grabbed her thigh. She felt his fingernails dig into her skin. She struggled once more, but he shoved himself deeper into her. With each struggle, he pumped harder and harder. She swallowed the _

_next scream as he continued until he was finished again. She felt numb as he rolled off her but pulled her against him._

"_I'm your first," he said. "Don't ever forget that."_

"Sara?"

Grissom reached over and touched her, but she recoiled as she struggled to breathe. She gasped again and again trying to force air into her lungs. Grissom scrambled to the side of the bed.

"Sara, calm down. You're going to hyperventilate. Just slow even breaths."

One touch from him and she was off the bed, but then she felt her knees hit the floor. She could hear herself struggling for air. He grabbed her into his arms and held her firmly as he tried to

soothe her.

"Don't fight it," he whispered.

She did.

She scrambled to get away from him as her chest heaved.

"Sara!"

He pulled her back and held her.

"Look at me!" he yelled.

She shook her head as she kept her eyes shut.

"It's me! Grissom…not David," he said.

Her eyes shot open, and he pulled her against him.

"Breathe slowly…that's it," he said.

He sat there in the floor with her as she focused on nothing but breathing.

Once her breathing returned to normal, he slowly pulled her back onto the bed.

He spooned his body to hers as

he pulled the covers up.

"I didn't mean to push you," he whispered. "I'm sorry."

His arm became damp as she cried softly.

"I'm here…he's never going to hurt you again," he whispered.

"He raped me," she cried.

"I know," he said softly. "I'm sorry. Just let me hold you."

"You knew?"

"Not until now…I'm sorry," he whispered.

"I'm used," she said brokenly. "He took what I wanted to give to you."

The meaning behind her words hit him like a ton of bricks.

"I have your love, Sara," he whispered. "David couldn't take that."

She cried as he held her.

She turned into his arms as he held her.

Grissom softly kissed her on the forehead.

"Try to sleep," he whispered. "I'll hold you while you sleep."

He was glad when she finally slept.

He quickly wiped his own eyes as he cursed at David.

He had hurt Sara far worse than he had imagined.

The scars were deep.

He was getting a glimpse of what she had endured.

He cursed again as he pulled her close.

She slept for several hours before waking abruptly.

He was there to comfort her and gently coax her back to sleep.

"Stay with me…don't leave me," she whispered.

"I won't," he said. "You're safe."

Her hands grasped his shirt.

He wrapped his arms protectively around her.

_No wonder she reacted the way she did…_

_The tension from being near him again…_

_Having that bastard touch her again…_

_Having him show up in the hotel room…_

_The constant showers…_

_Hot showers…not cold…_

_She was trying to rid herself of him…_

_Of what he did to her…_

He slept little as he watched over her.

She slept for a total of six hours before waking.

She seemed startled at first when she felt his arms around her, but he released her when she sat up abruptly.

"Six hours," he said. "That's good."

She said nothing as she avoided his eyes and headed straight to the bathroom.

He had breakfast ready when she came out.

She sat down and picked up a fork.

"You better eat," he said with a smile. "It stopped raining. We're going for a walk."

She ate the toast and attempted a few bites of the omelet. He said nothing as he finished his.

"There's a path that leads to the creek. It's a three mile loop. You think you're up to that?"

She nodded.

He turned and looked at her, but she refused to make eye contact with him.

He was prepared.

He had been mentally preparing himself all night.

He never thought he would be putting his CSI training to use in his personal life.

They headed down the trail and he began pointing out the wildlife.

"Jim and I fish in the creek. We'll do that tomorrow," he said.

She nodded.

"Have you ever fished?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"I'll teach you."

She smiled.

He stopped and touched her arm. "Look up," he said. "That's an eagle nest." They searched the sky and saw an eagle flying overhead.

"I saw them the last time I was here. I came up here one weekend when I needed to get away. It was after my surgery."

"Surgery?" she asked quickly.

"Hearing problem. Better now," he said.

"Eagles mate for life," he said slipping his hand into hers.

It felt good to hold her hand.

His fingers caressed the palm of her hand as they continued along the trail.

They approached the creek.

He released her hand and stepped off the path in order to climb down the small embankment to the water.

She followed.

He pointed out the fish in the creek.

"That's dinner tomorrow night," he said with a grin.

"You have to catch them first," she said.

_She's talking…_

_That's good…_

"I can do that," he said.

They sat down on a rock beside the creek.

"It's beautiful," she said.

"It's peaceful," he said.

She picked up a rock and threw it in the creek.

"Know how to skim a rock across the water?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"You have much to learn," he said with a grin. "I'll teach you."

He chose a flat rock and threw it.

She grinned when it bounced several times across the water.

"Five…I counted five times," she said.

"I'm just getting warmed up," he said.

He continued to do it several times.

She stood and picked up a rock throwing it. It landed in the water with a thud.

"It takes practice," he said. "You also have to choose the right rock."

They spent the next several minutes throwing rocks.

She smiled when she managed to get it to skim across the water four times.

"Fast learner," he said with a grin.

They returned to the path and began walking again.

He pulled out a couple of apples and handed one to her.

"Thanks," she murmured.

"Your appetite will get better," he said. "Fresh air, hiking…"

She swatted at the gnats. "Bugs!"

He grinned. "That's the best part. I'll teach you a few things about bugs."

She took a bite of the apple.

He grinned as he took her hand again and continued their walk.

She was tired by the time they returned to the cabin.

They stepped inside, and she slumped down in front of the fire.

"Tired?"

"Yes."

"Good," he said as he sat down on the couch.

Once she was warm, she scooted back until her back was against the couch.

He reached over and stroked her hair.

Her head leaned over on his knee as he continued.

"Did you report it to anyone?" he asked quietly.

She shook her head.

He could not believe she had let him get away with it.

She was quiet for a moment before she spoke again. "I told Jenny."

His hand trembled as he continued to stroke her hair.

"I told Jenny when I couldn't go into work. She came over and made me go to the hospital. I uhm was a mess. I couldn't stand for anyone to touch me…the bruises…the nurse did a rape kit.

I felt like I was being raped all over again while I lay there and was poked and prodded and then…" She gulped back tears. "The snapping of the photos…she talked with me…the chances

of…no birth control…I cried. I had to admit that it was rape and not consensual. She gave me something. Jenny took me home. She told me she believed me, but I don't think she did. She

couldn't believe her brother could do such a thing. She confronted him. She later came and told me he didn't mean it. He just had too much to drink and was jealous. He just wanted me

back."

He felt her tremble, and he rubbed his hand along her arms.

"The nurse from the hospital called me a few days later. The rape kit had disappeared. There was no evidence."

She breathed in deeply.

"He was the assistant DA. His friend was the DA. It was my word against his. I couldn't stand…I uhm didn't want to be a victim…another case file. I had been that as a child."

She waited for him to reply, but when he didn't she continued.

"I switched units. I went to nights. Jenny tried, but I couldn't talk with her. I heard she stopped talking to David. It was never the same."

"You stopped calling for awhile," he said softly.

"I needed to work through it on my own," she said.

"You didn't…not really," he said.

Her arms wrapped about herself. He continued to touch her. He needed to touch her. She needed it as well.

"That day we were at Jenny's, he told me Jenny had arranged it…so he could talk with me. She knew how much I despised being around him, and yet, she tells him I'm coming to her home

so he can be there." She took a deep gulp of air. "He told me it was Jenny who gave him my apartment key. I trusted her. She gave him the key, and he…"

She stopped.

He didn't push.

"I let him get away with it," she cried. "He still denies it. He acts as though nothing happened. I should have reported it."

"Sara…"

"I'm going to shower," she said as she started to get up.

He pulled her back down, and she knelt there between his legs.

He held her for a moment and then kissed her. It was soft and gentle, but then there was an urgency there. She felt it as much as he did. He slowly released her.

"Shower," he whispered. "I'll start dinner."

She didn't want to leave. She rested her head on his chest, and he held her. He kissed her softly on the forehead as his hand stroked her hair.

"I always wanted to do that," he said. "When we would be working late and you would tilt your head towards me, I always wanted to reach out…"

"Why didn't you?" she asked suddenly.

"I couldn't."

"Yes, you could."

"I didn't think I could," he said. "When I came back from San Francisco, I came up here. Nothing was going right at the lab. I didn't want to be there. I wanted to be with you. You're uhm…

much younger than me," he began.

"No, I'm not!"

"Sara, I'm fifteen years older than you."

"Age is nothing," she said.

"I want you to have a chance to be with someone closer to your age…that's not me."

Note from author:

I know. You just want to hit him over the head...geez... And yes I have arrived in Louisville KY and have internet connection!

Leave a review.

Take care,

Penny


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve:**

"I don't want anyone but you. I…" She stopped suddenly and sat back breaking the contact. "Do you still feel this way?"

"I think you should…"

"Do you love me?"

Her eyes pleaded with him.

"Yes."

"I want you…no one else," she said.

He felt his head shake.

He saw how much it hurt her.

She jumped up, but he grabbed her arm.

"You don't love me!" she cried.

"I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it."

"Right," she said as she pulled away. "I get it. We're back to where we've been the last five years."

She started to walk away, but he stood blocking her path.

"Sara…"

"Don't! Don't pretend…it would hurt far worse than what David did to me," she cried.

"Sara…."

"If you don't want me, then at least, tell me now," she said.

"I want you. I don't know if I can have you," he said.

"Why not? Is it because of my past? What I told you? Damaged goods…too much baggage…"

"No!" he said trying to pull her into his arms. "Sara, I'm your boss…"

"I quit!"

"What?"

"I quit! You're not my boss any longer."

"You can't quit!"

"Why not? What's wrong? Am I more valuable to you as an employee or a mate?"

He stared at her.

She glared at him.

"I'm right here…you just have to want me," she said quietly.

He grabbed both arms.

Panic set in.

He eased his assault when he felt her body stiffen.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"Not you…me," she cried softly. "I uhm can't get rid of him. He's always going to control me."

His grip tightened on her arms.

"No! He isn't. It's going to take time, Sara. It's going to…"

She pulled away.

He let her this time.

She hurried out of the room as he picked up the book that lay on the table and threw it.

_Good going there, Grissom…_

_Once again you've hurt her…_

_She thinks you're only doing this to get her back to work…_

_She thinks you don't love her…_

_She thinks she's never going to get past this…_

_I could kill him…_

_He got away with it…_

She picked at dinner.

It was disappointing.

He had hoped the walk and being out of the cabin would help bring back her appetite.

"Can I fix you anything else?" he asked.

She shook her head.

She cleaned up the kitchen as he helped. Neither said anything. Once it was completed, she disappeared into the bedroom.

_She's going to rest…_

_At least she's…_

"Where are you going?" he asked when he saw her with jacket and shoes.

"A walk," she said.

"I'll come with you," he said.

"I want to go alone," she said.

It made him nervous.

"It's getting late."

She opened the door and stepped out.

"Sara!"

He followed her to the front porch.

"Wait, I'll get my jacket," he called.

"I don't want you to come."

She turned and took off down the path.

He stood there and raked his fingers through his hair.

He would have to let her go.

He thought about following her, but he knew it would only make her angry.

He sat there in the porch swing and sulked.

An hour passed, and she did not return.

_If she follows the same path, it will take an hour and a half…_

_What if she got off the trail?_

_What if she got hurt?_

_What if she never intended to come back?_

_She could have turned and headed toward town…_

_Shit…_

He had no choice but to sit and wait.

Another hour passed, and she did not return.

He cursed.

He grabbed his jacket and started to head down the path but stopped.

_Don't go…_

_Stay…_

_She'll come back…_

He was frustrated.

He sat back down in the porch swing and waited.

Another hour passed, and it was getting dark.

He started to get up when he saw her coming from the other direction.

She was exhausted and muddy.

She stepped up on the porch and slipped off her hiking boots.

"Did you take the three mile path?" he asked quietly.

"I took the other one," she said as she stepped inside.

_That's six miles…_

He could hear the shower when he stepped back inside.

He put more wood on the fire and sat there on the couch.

When she did not come, he stepped into the bedroom.

She was curled up in the bed.

He showered letting the water soothe his anger.

He was glad she was alright.

He was glad she came back.

He was pissed that she made him worry.

He cursed inwardly.

_It's been this way for five years…_

_Always worrying where she is…_

_How she's handling a crime scene…_

_Is she sleeping and eating enough?_

_Is she happy?_

_She's done nothing but invade my life since I met her…_

He grinned.

He could never imagine his life without her.

He slipped into the bed and lay there on his side waiting for her to say something or move closer.

She did neither.

"Can I hold you?" he asked.

"No."

The two letter word echoed in the room.

"You're mad at me," he said.

"Yes…no."

"Yes, you are."

"I never should have come here," she said.

"We're back to that again," he said.

It irritated her.

"I guess I learned that from you…go around in circles," she said.

"I'm not going around in circles anymore," he said.

"Right," she said.

He inched closer.

She noticed.

"What did you see on your walk?" he asked.

"The eagles," she whispered.

"They're beautiful, aren't they?" he asked as he continued to move closer.

"I found another nest…I think the eggs have hatched," she said.

"They're very protective of their young," he said.

"Humans could learn from eagles," she said quietly.

"Yes…they could."

He stared at her in the dark.

"Have you ever felt protected?" he asked.

"No."

It wasn't exactly true.

She felt protected when she came to Vegas and was no longer near David Hollister.

She felt protected when Grissom purposely opened the doors between their rooms in San Francisco.

She felt protected when Grissom showed up when David had cornered her in the nursery.

She used to feel protected whenever she was with Grissom.

Now, it wasn't enough.

She loved him, but he did not love her.

She was truly alone now.

_Two weeks…_

_You have two weeks to get your life back in order…_

_So you can do your job again for the lab…_

_For the good of the lab…_

"_The lab needs you Sara"_

_He doesn't need you…_

_You have too much baggage…_

_You're not strong…_

_David took that away from you…_

She rolled over and was no longer facing him.

He inched closer.

"Tell me some more about the eagles," he said.

"One sat on a branch near the nest while the other circled above me," she said.

"One was defending the nest while the other was defending its mate," he said.

"He followed me for some time even though I left the nest," she said.

"Maybe he was wondering where your mate was," he whispered.

She was quiet.

_I don't have a mate…_

_I'll never have a mate…_

_You don't want me…_

_I'll never want anyone but you…_

She gulped back a wave of emotions that threatened to erupt.

"What else did you see?" he asked trying to continue the conversation.

"Butterflies…on the wildflowers. I sat and watched them," she said.

"They're fragile looking but very strong," he said. "I think they're elegant in flight and very beautiful. I like to collect specimens of butterflies."

She rolled back over.

"I remembered seeing your collection when we worked that time at your home."

He smiled.

"I thought it was sad," she said.

"Why?"

"Their wings pinned down…unable to fly…to get away…" she stopped as she rolled back over.

"Sara…"

"I think I can sleep now," she whispered.

He said nothing as he lay there beside her.

He tried to hold her, but she inched away.

It was a setback.

She wanted him.

She chose him.

He wanted her.

He wouldn't let himself have her.

_She needs me…_

_I can help her…_

_How do I let her go?_

_How do I go back to the way it was after two weeks?_

Note from author:

You knew we would have to resolve Grissom's problems as well as Sara's... leave a review.

Take care,

Penny


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen:**

Day four:

Her nightmares woke them during the night.

She sat up panting and scrambled away from him when he tried to comfort her.

She buried her head into the pillow as she softly cried.

She was mere inches from him, and yet he could not comfort her.

It tore at him.

"Sara, let me hold you," he whispered.

She shook her head.

"Why not?"

"Have to do this on my own," she managed to get out.

"Why? Let me help."

"Two weeks," she said softly.

"Two weeks?"

"Two weeks…you're my boss, and I'm your employee…have to do this on my own."

He understood.

She knew that once they returned, she would return to her apartment, and he would return to his townhouse.

She would sleep alone again.

She would face the nightmares on her own.

Her screams would wake her, and she would be alone to face the hell David had done to her.

She was awake before him.

He wasn't sure if she went back to sleep after the nightmare, but she had stayed in the bed.

As soon as he stirred, she got up.

When he got out of the shower, there was wood on the fire, and the table was set.

Fresh toast and juice was sitting on the table along with some freshly cut fruit.

He smiled, but she did not return it.

He was pleased that she ate a piece of toast.

The juice disappeared as well.

He wondered when they returned to Vegas if she would remember to eat and sleep.

_I'll have to remind her…_

"Ready to fish?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"What do you want to do today?" he asked.

"I'm going to hike," she said.

"Let's take a shorter trail today," he said as he stood.

"I was going to go alone," she said.

"Why?"

"Look…I'm doing this…I'm working through this…I'll get through this…two weeks…I'll be back at work…back at the lab," she spat out.

She showered and then quickly slipped out the door in hopes of leaving without being noticed.

He was sitting on the front porch waiting for her.

As soon as her foot hit the dirt, he was there beside her.

She quickened the pace, and he did as well.

It did not do either of them any good as she found herself out of breath and his knee was already hurting.

"Are you intent on injuring us both?" he finally asked.

She finally slowed down.

She looked back, and he sat down on a rock.

He rubbed his knee, and she felt guilty.

She came back and knelt in front of him as she rubbed his knee with her hands.

They were warm and gentle and soothing.

"You should have slowed down," she said.

"I wanted to be with you today," he said.

She sat down on the ground and rested.

"Look, there's a Monarch butterfly," he said pointing.

They sat there and watched as it floated from flower to flower.

"Soon there will be more of them as it gets warmer each day," he said.

It fluttered in front of them and landed on her knee.

They sat there and watched it.

Grissom reached over, and instead of flying away, it landed on his finger.

He smiled as he glanced at Sara.

She sat there quietly.

"You're not going to…"

"No, I won't hurt it," he said.

She seemed relieved.

It flew away, and he stood.

"Let me show you something," he said.

He grabbed her hand before she could protest.

He stepped off the path and walked about a quarter of a mile before stopping.

"Look at that tree," he said.

She stood there and stared.

"What am I supposed to…there are bees coming out of that hole," she said.

"They're honey bees," he said.

He pulled her down, and they sat down on a log.

"I found this the last time I came up here," he said. "It was by mistake. I got stung a few times trying to see inside the hole."

It made her grin.

She could imagine his curiosity getting the better of him.

"It's the job of the other bees to protect the queen. I got too close…won't make that mistake again."

A bee flew by, and Sara leaned back into Grissom.

"Stay still," he said. "He won't attack unless you swat at him."

"I don't like bees," she said. "They sting."

"Only if you try to hurt it," he said.

It flew near her face, and she instinctively swatted at it.

It flew closer, and she jumped up.

She continued to swat at it as he quickly led her away.

She hurried and took the lead not bothering to see where she was going.

"Sara, slow down," he warned.

She tripped and sent both of them to the ground.

He caught himself and avoided landing on her as she continued to swat at the bee that had given up the pursuit.

He caught her wrist in midair.

"Stop being a bully," he said.

"I'm not. He started it…not me," she said as she looked around.

"It's gone," he said.

He leaned down and kissed her.

He broke the contact immediately, and he saw the disappointment in her eye.

She got up quickly and started walking.

"Sara, the path is in this direction," he said.

She stopped as she stood there panting.

"This way," he said softly.

She avoided eye contact with him as she turned.

Once they were back on the trail, he headed back toward the cabin.

"I'm not ready to go back," she said.

"You're tired," he said. "Let's have lunch."

"I'm not hungry," she said.

"I am. You shouldn't be out here alone," he said.

"You've been out here on your own," she said.

He grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the cabin.

She started back but let go of his hand.

He refused to let go of hers but continued to hold it.

"Let go," she finally said.

"I like to hold your hand," he said.

"You won't hold it when we're….let go."

"Sara…"

She picked up the pace.

He didn't mind.

She was going back.

He decided to let her win this battle as he released her hand and watched her hurry toward the cabin.

She nibbled on her sandwich as they sat on the front porch.

She was tired.

She would have liked to curl up in the bed and sleep but the nightmare had been too vivid.

He stood and stretched.

She noticed he limped.

"You're limping," she said suddenly.

"Knee…hurts a little," he said.

"You should prop it up," she said.

He leaned back on the couch as she propped up his knee with two pillows.

"Better?" she asked.

"Better," he said with a smile.

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have gone so fast," she said.

"Not your fault," he said.

She stood there not sure what to do with herself.

"Sit with me," he said.

She shook her head.

She sat down in the floor instead.

They were quiet for a moment.

"You didn't sleep much," he said.

"Nightmare," she said.

"Were you dreaming about…David?" he asked.

"Nothing else," she said.

"I wish you would have told me...years ago," he said. "I sensed something was wrong when you didn't call for a long time."

"I couldn't…you called," she said.

"Yes, I did. I was worried. I thought something might have happened on a case," he said.

She was quiet again.

"I would have come," he said.

"I wish you would have come that night," she said. "I thought it was you."

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

"You said you were coming to San Francisco on a case," she said.

His chest began to beat wildly.

"It happened that…night…the night I was coming?"

She nodded.

He felt as if he had been kicked in the stomach.

She saw the torment on his face.

"What's wrong?" she asked concerned.

"Sara…it wasn't a case."

She turned and faced him.

He would have preferred she kept her back to him.

"I thought I could just return to Vegas as if nothing happened. I couldn't. I missed you. I told myself I was letting my emotions get carried away but I had to see you."

"You were coming to see me?"

He nodded.

"Why didn't you…"

She stared at him.

"I got there and saw his vehicle parked out front. I told myself you were better off with…him."

Realization struck her, and she felt the air leave her lungs.

"Sara, I was there…I didn't know," he said quickly.

"You…you were there outside…while he was inside…with me," she said brokenly.

"I'm so sorry," he said. "I didn't know."

"I didn't cry out. I didn't…" she covered her mouth as she rushed to the bathroom.

She locked the bathroom as she slumped down in the floor and cried.

_He was there…._

_While he was…._

She vomited over and over.

_The smell of David on her skin…_

_His touch…_

_His voice…_

_His warnings…_

_His cruelty…_

_The pain…_

"Sara, open the door," he said softly.

"Go away," she said between bouts of nausea.

"Please."

Her head was pounding.

_I thought it was him crawling into bed with me…_

_It wasn't…_

_He was just outside the door…_

"_You're mine. Not Grissom's. Mine."_

_Grissom didn't want me…_

_He was right outside the door…_

"_Your body is mine to take when I want,"_

"_I'm your first,"_

"_Don't ever forget that."_

He sat there on the bed and listened as she cried.

There were racking sobs that tore at him.

_Why didn't I knock?_

_Why didn't I make sure?_

_I didn't want to be turned down…_

_I was afraid she changed her mind…_

_I was afraid she would hurt me…._

_I let him hurt her instead…_

_Always the careful one…_

_Never get close…_

_Never get hurt…_

_He raped her because I did nothing…_

His shoulders shook as he sat there and cried.

Her sobs slowed as she forced herself up from the floor.

She had lost track of time.

Her body ached.

She sat there as she wiped her face with her sleeve.

The cabin was quiet.

_It must be dark…._

_He's probably asleep…_

_Decided to leave me alone…_

She held her breath when she heard him.

He was not asleep.

She gulped back a wave of emotion.

He was crying.

_He blames himself…_

_It wasn't his fault…_

_He didn't know…_

_It's mine…_

_Not his…_

_He feels guilty…_

_He shouldn't…._

_I don't blame him…_

_I blame myself…._

She struggled to her feet.

She felt weak.

She opened the door.

"Grissom?"

"I'm here," he said.

She fell to her knees in front of him as his arms wrapped tightly around her.

"Not your fault…mine," she cried. "You didn't know…you didn't know."

"I should have knocked. I should have seen for myself instead of…I let that bastard rape you," he choked.

"No! You didn't. I did."

He shook her.

"Stop blaming yourself! You didn't do anything! He did it…not you!"

She swallowed back a wave of emotion.

"Say it!" yelled Grissom.

"Not my…," she burst into tears as the sobs returned.

His kisses were gentle as if comforting a child.

His hands wiped away each tear.

"So tired," she murmured.

"I know," he said.

His hand let go of hers as she felt him taking her pulse.

"You're exhausted," he said. "Lie still."

He stood, but she grabbed his hand.

"You need to eat something," he said. "I'll be back."

When he returned, she was sitting up.

He handed her a cup of soup.

Her hands trembled as she drank slowly.

She finished the cup.

She glanced at him, but he refused to make eye contact.

"Gil?"

She had never used his given name.

He looked at her.

"I don't blame you," she said.

"I blame myself."

"Don't."

"Sara?"

She looked at him as a single tear slipped down her cheeks.

"Don't blame yourself," he whispered.

She did.

"Think you could sleep?" he asked.

She half laughed.

"Want to sit by the fire for awhile?" he asked.

She nodded as she slipped her legs from the covers and stood slowly.

He grabbed a blanket and some pillows.

Soon, they were lying in front of the fire.

"Close your eyes," he said.

She did as he kissed her lightly on the forehead.

She clung to him as exhaustion finally set in and she slept.

He stroked her hair as he held her while he cried softly.

"I love you, Sara," he whispered. "I love you so much."

Note from author:

Take a deep breath...now, that's better. Thanks so much for the reviews. They mean alot. Let's continue!

Take care,

Penny


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen:**

Day five:

There were no nightmares.

She rolled over and found herself wrapped in his arms.

He was still asleep.

She gently reached up and let her fingers sift through his hair.

She was sore and imagined he would be sore as well from sleeping on the floor.

She turned and saw the fire was out.

"You want to do the fire or breakfast?" he asked.

"Fire," she said.

"How did you sleep?" he asked.

"Better," she said.

He got up slowly and stretched.

"Sore?" she asked.

"I think a hot shower will feel good this morning," he said.

They stood outside the cabin.

She watched as he pulled out the fishing rods.

"Let's try to fish today," he said.

She followed him as he headed toward the creek.

"There's a nice spot right down here," he said.

He handed her a pole, and she took it.

"Be careful along the edge. It's slippery," he warned.

She slowly crept along the edge.

"Sara, maybe you should…"

Her foot slipped, and she plunged into the water.

It was not deep, but it was icy cold.

She stood suddenly gasping for air.

He panicked until he saw her wet body emerge from the water.

He chuckled.

"That's…not…funny!" she yelled.

"Yes, it is," he said.

"It's freezing," she said.

"Let me give you a hand," he said as he leaned down.

He was not prepared to be yanked in.

He stood there angrily in the water.

She smirked.

"That wasn't very nice," he said.

"Neither is this," she said as she splashed water in his face.

"Mean!" he yelled as he returned the assault.

She stepped back and stumbled falling back into the water.

He stood there laughing.

"Going to help me up?" she asked.

"No."

She started to get up when she stopped suddenly.

His grin faded.

"What's wrong?"

"There's something in my blouse," she said.

She wiggled.

"It's probably just…"

She grabbed her blouse and shook it.

She stood and pulled at the blouse causing it to finally come untucked.

"Need help?" he smirked.

"No!"

She yanked off the blouse and stood there in nothing but a bra.

He swallowed hard.

Her breasts were reacting to the cold water.

He was glad the water was cold.

He felt himself slowly reacting.

Her fingers produced a minnow from her bra.

Their eyes met.

He did not intend to laugh.

He laughed so hard, he sat down in the water.

She stood there and glared at him.

"Glad you found it so amusing," she said. "I hope it crawls up your…"

He stood suddenly.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "Did you…"

He splashed her.

It made her mad.

She splashed as hard as she could.

He grabbed her and sent both of them crashing into the water again.

His lips grabbed hers, and she lay there in the creek as his tongue darted in and out.

She felt as if butterflies were floating in the pit of her stomach.

It felt odd.

She wanted more.

Her hand stroked his arms.

He continued the kiss as he pulled her against him.

The bra did not conceal her breasts.

His head dipped down and planted kisses just above her breasts.

She moaned.

He pulled her up and helped her as they waded to the bank.

He pulled her out but did not release her as he pushed her down on the grass.

His lips continued their assault.

She reveled in the feel of him on top of her.

She shivered. It was not from the cold but rather the intensity of the need to have him make love to her.

She wanted him.

She could feel his arousal.

She knew he wanted her.

She tugged at his clothing.

_Just a few tugs here and there…_

_He would be inside me…_

He rolled over and broke the contact.

She felt the frustration wash over her body.

"Griss…"

"We should get back to the cabin and get out of these wet clothes," he said.

She rolled over and faced him.

"It felt nice," she said.

He looked at her.

"A little too nice," he said sitting up.

"What's wrong with that?" she asked.

"We shouldn't get carried away," he said.

"Why not?"

He looked up and spotted the eagle.

"He's watching us," said Grissom.

She glanced up.

"His mate is probably watching over the eaglets in the nest," said Grissom.

He sighed loudly.

"I've experienced life…you haven't."

"So if I told you I had slept around…had lots of men, you would be more willing…"

"No, that's not what I'm saying," he said.

She glanced up.

"Isn't it?"

"I'm older…I've been with others," he said.

She struggled to get up.

His hand snaked out and grabbed her wrist.

Her pulse rate soared.

"I chose you even before David came that night. I chose you the moment I saw you at the seminar. I chose you Grissom!" she yelled.

"Why?"

"I loved you the moment I saw you….the moment you spoke," she said.

He had felt the same way.

He had thought he had hardened his heart over the years, but one glance and she had managed to break through all the barriers.

"What am I supposed to do Griss? What do you want me to do?" she asked.

"I want you to be happy…to…"

"Why can't I be happy with you?" she asked.

He was happy with her.

He was happy even when they fought.

He just wanted her in his life.

"I could never make you happy," he said.

"Yes! You could! You do!" she yelled.

He looked away.

_I couldn't bear to have you and lose you…_

_My mother lost my father…_

_It broke her…_

_She never recovered…_

_She was so lonely…_

_Never loved another…_

He looked at her as if he had not really seen her before.

"I'm scared," he said.

She sat back down.

"Of what?"

"I could never…always been afraid of…my father died when I was young…my mother never got over that," he said quietly.

"I would never leave you," she said.

"You need someone like…Nick," he said.

"You want me to be with Nick?" she asked.

"Someone like…"

"Fine. When we get back, I'll be sure and screw Nick."

She got up, but he yanked her back down.

"That's not what I meant!"

"Isn't it? I'll tell you how it feels…to let someone else touch me. I'll tell you what it feels like when…"

He grabbed her into his arms, and his mouth crushed hers.

It was urgent and forceful.

His tongue demanded entrance, and she let him.

His lips left hers and assaulted her neck, and she moaned.

He wanted her.

The thought of giving her up to someone else tore at him.

He didn't think he could stand to see another man touch her.

His hand cupped a breast.

It sent another moan from her lips.

He slipped the breast from the bra and took the nipple into his lips.

Her body shuddered.

His hand slipped down between her legs, and his fingers dipped deeply inside her.

Her body clung to his.

Her mind tried to take in each touch and sensation.

Her head tilted back, and his lips left her breast and kissed her neck.

He could easily yank the shorts down.

A few adjustments of his own clothing, and he would be inside her.

The scream of the eagle made him come to his senses.

"We have to stop," he whispered. "I wasn't prepared for this."

He felt her stiffen.

"I don't want to stop," he whispered. "I have to stop."

"Why?"

"No protection," he said.

He wasn't turning her down.

He was protecting her from the possibility of getting pregnant.

He straightened her clothing and then kissed her lightly on the cheek.

He held out his hand, and she took it this time.

Each was silent for awhile.

"Did you ever want children?" she asked.

"No," he said.

She was quiet.

"Not until I met you," he said.

Note from author:

I think Sara won that round. Please continue with the reviews.

Take care,

Penny


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen:**

She helped him fix dinner.

Each seemed a million miles away.

They ate in silence, and then each retreated to their spot before the fire.

Soon they were in bed.

She felt nervous suddenly.

He felt the same way.

"You really want me to see other men," she said softly.

"I uhm…"

He couldn't bear the thought of her with another man.

His voice was barely above a whisper. "If David had never…would you have dated…"

She rose immediately.

"No!"

"Sara…"

"You think I'm settling for you?"

"You could have anyone," he said.

"I don't want anyone…but you."

_You're damaged…_

_You're a lot of work…_

_Maybe he doesn't want to have to deal with this…_

_He's trying to help you…_

_But doesn't want you…_

She gulped back tears.

"You could get a better mate," she said sadly.

He stared at her.

"I uhm a lot of work," she said. "My mother is a convicted murderer…my father was an abusive husband and father…I can't even…certain words…certain touches…"

"That's not why…Sara…"

She pushed him away.

"Nine days left," she whispered.

"Nine days?"

"Nine days and then I'm alone again. You'll be alone. We'll be alone together…again."

She slid back down in the bed and rolled to her side.

"You don't have to be alone," he whispered.

"We'll try to fish again tomorrow," she said.

"Sara…"

She said nothing more.

He lay there not sure what to do.

_Nine days…_

_She's right…_

_Nine days and we'll be back…_

_How do I go back alone?_

_How do I go back to sleeping alone?_

_How do I sleep when I worry if she's sleeping?_

_If she's frightened by the nightmares…_

_I won't be there to hold her…_

_What if she turns to someone else because she's lonely?_

_What if he hurts her?_

_What if she sleeps with someone just for sex?_

_To prove that David hasn't broken her…_

_It should be with someone who loves her…_

_Cherishes her…_

_Would be gentle with her…_

_Someone who will take the time to love her gently and slowly…_

_She's frightened easily…_

He rolled over immediately.

"Sara, have you been with anyone except…"

She slowly shook her head.

He pulled her to him. "I'll help you through it."

He kissed her as his hands roamed over her body.

She returned the kiss, but then her body stiffened.

"What's wrong?"

"You want me to have sex with you so I can have sex with other men?"

He was too slow to react.

She shoved him away.

"I don't want your pity!" she yelled.

"Sara…"

"No! I want to make love to you…not sex, and not so I can go jump in bed with someone else," she cried.

"I didn't mean…"

"Don't!"

He let her calm down before reaching over and kissing her tenderly.

"Marry me," he said.

She blinked.

"Soul mates…need to be married," he said.

"Married?"

"Marry me," he said again.

"Why?"

"I love you. I want you…just you…no one else…for life," he said.

She gulped back tears.

"You deserve better," she said.

"You deserve better than me…if you want me, I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy," he said.

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes," she said.

He kissed her tenderly.

"When I used to daydream, I never imagined my marriage proposal would come like this," she said.

"Did you daydream about me?" he asked.

"Only you."

"How did I propose?" he asked.

"At a crime scene."

He stared at her. "I would never…"

"It was romantic."

"At a crime scene?"

"You uhm proposed at the end of the shift…we were both on our knees, and you asked me. You said something like, 'since you already have me on my knees, will you…"

"That would have been nice," he said quietly.

"This was nice," she said. "Are you sure…you don't have to feel responsible…"

"I choose you…for a mate…for life," he said.

"You do?"

He kissed her pulling her closer.

"I love you, Sara."

"You do?" she asked.

"Yes, I do. If you're willing to put up with me….I choose you."

"I do," she cried. "I choose you."

"Get some sleep," he said.

She stepped out of the shower and found a note on the bed.

He was gone.

He would be back soon.

She felt confused.

_Maybe he's changed his mind…_

_Stop it Sara!_

_He loves you…_

_I'm damaged…_

_We've never even…_

_He's gone…_

She found breakfast sitting on the table with instructions to eat.

She did.

_He loves me…_

_He cares for me…_

_He's just running an errand…_

_He's coming back…_

She cleaned the cabin.

She paced the cabin.

She sat on the porch and stared at the road.

She shivered even though it was a warm sunny day.

_He's having second thoughts…_

_He's gone to think…_

_He woke up and realized what he'd done…_

She gulped back a wave of fear.

_Stop it!_

_He said he would be back…_

_He's late…_

_He's an hour late…_

Another hour passed.

She felt the anxiety building.

She glanced at her watch.

She folded her arms.

Another hour passed.

Her chest pounded.

_Mates for life…_

_Mates for life…_

_He wouldn't do this…_

_He's just late…_

She pulled on her hiking boots and took off down the trail.

With each step her mind went over every word he had said that night.

She broke it down over and over and analyzed it until she thought she was losing her mind.

She stopped and looked up.

The eagle flew above.

She didn't stop until she was near the nest.

She sat down on the rock and looked up.

The eagle sat there on the nest.

Sara's head settled on her knees as she sat there and cried.

_Four hours late…_

_He changed his mind…_

_He doesn't want me…_

_He realized I was too much work…_

_Not worth the effort…_

_Not worth…_

"Sara?"

Her head shot up.

One look at her tear stained face and fear enveloped him.

_She's changed her mind…_

_She's had hours to think through this…_

_She realizes I'm not right for her…_

_She needs my help…_

_She doesn't want my name…_

_She doesn't want to marry me…_

"You're late," she managed to get out.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't find what I needed," he said coming to sit next to her.

"What did you need…that required all day…" she stopped.

"About last night," he began.

She heard the strain in his voice.

"I get it," she said jumping up from the rock.

"Sara…"

"You've changed your mind," she said. "David did…"

"No! Sara that's not the reason," he said quickly. "I didn't change my mind...did you?"

"I've been certain for five years," she said.

"Me too…I just couldn't tell you until last night. I'm sorry."

She breathed out slowly.

"I'm sorry," she said swiping at her eyes. "When I saw the note and then you didn't come back…"

"I love you," he said as he opened his arms.

She was there immediately.

"I…got scared…didn't want me," she said sniffling.

"Never," he said kissing her head.

"Then what?" she asked.

He pulled out the small black box and opened it.

"I wanted to get just the right one. I had to drive all the way back to Vegas…I couldn't find it in town."

She smiled.

He slipped it on her finger.

"It's beautiful," she whispered.

"I had to do something else," he said.

"What?"

"I found someone in town who can marry us…this evening," he said.

"This evening?"

"Marry me," he said. "Now."

She wore a simple plain cotton dress.

He thought she looked beautiful.

They were married within hours.

It had been romantic.

They had dinner in town.

It was late by the time they had returned to the cabin.

He carried her through the door.

They were both nervous when they went to bed.

"Griss?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you want me?" she asked.

"Of course I do," he said.

"I mean…want me."

"I've always wanted you. I've taken too many cold showers in the last five years."

She smiled. "Me too."

"Sleep."

"Griss?"

"Hmmm?"

"You could…I mean we could try…"

"I'm not sure you're ready."

She curled up next to him.

He felt her hands as they traveled up and down his chest.

He frowned when her hand traveled further.

"Sara…"

Her fingers retreated back to his chest.

It was not to last.

His eyes jerked open the moment he felt her hand cup his scrotum.

His hand flew down to grab hers only to have it retreat back to his chest.

He turned on his side.

It did not deter her.

Her fingers wandered back and touched him once again sending him into a full arousal.

She smiled.

He frowned.

"Just checking out what I chose," she whispered.

"You like?" he asked.

"Yes…yes I do."

"Go to sleep," he said.

She closed her eyes and let her hands rest on his chest.

Her eyes popped back open.

"You're uhm still up," she said glancing down between them.

"It would appear so," he said between clenched teeth.

"I could help," she said.

"Sara…"

Her hand shot down and grabbed him sending him onto his back.

"Sara, no…"

She stopped quickly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

He kissed her.

"I don't want to rush you," he said. "I don't mind you touching…I'm not sure what you feel comfortable doing."

"The other night…" she began. "That was good….the stopping…that was bad…It was frustrating…I don't like to be frustrated."

He grinned. "Neither do I."

He rolled over and gently kissed her while his hand slowly pulled up the gown. She pulled away, but he was relieved when she stripped herself of the gown. The panties were thrown next.

He removed his clothing.

She trembled slightly when his body hovered above hers. He kissed her softly as he positioned himself. She reached for his neck and brought him down for another kiss. His tongue

entwined with hers. His hand slipped down between them, and his fingers dipped slowly into her. She was ready, but he was not certain. He did not want to frighten her. His fingers moved

in and out causing her to moan. She clutched at him as his lips kissed her neck then planted soft kisses along her breasts. He reached into the drawer and pulled out a condom.

She glanced at him.

"Birth control," he whispered.

"Oh."

She bit her lower lip.

"I love you Sara. I'm honored that I'm the first person to make love to you. I'll always remember this…just us…soul mates forever."

He saw a tear slip down, and he kissed it away.

He slowly eased himself into her. He watched for any distress, but there was none. He began to move slowly letting the tension build. Her breathing was ragged, and she began to move

with him. It was slow and steady. It was pure joy and ecstasy. She picked up the pace as he plunged deeper and deeper. He felt her release, and she cried out. He smiled as he filled her.

He lay there inside her as he waited for her to recover.

She pulled him down so that his full weight was on her.

"I'm too heavy," he complained.

"I want to feel you," she said crying. "Just you."

"Sara?"

"I always just wanted you….so glad it was you," she cried.

He kissed her on the cheek.

"Me too."

They looked at one another when he felt his arousal return inside her. He started to roll off, but she wrapped her legs around him. She purposely thrust her hips forward. He groaned. She

smiled. He thrust deeply, and she gasped. It was hurried and rushed as he thrust deeper and deeper, and she met him stroke for stroke. They both collapsed.

Note from author:

Sorry for the delay but as you can see...it was worth the wait. I just got back into the hotel and I am burnt to a crisp. I have been reading reviews from the phone...I am so pathetic!

Take care,

Penny


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen:**

"Sleep," he said.

She smiled.

He spooned his body up to hers and held her tight.

"Griss?"

"Gil…not Griss"

"Gil?"

"Hmmm?"

"I can't sleep."

He sighed.

"Why?"

"I'm hungry."

He grinned.

"It's about time."

They ate a sandwich in bed.

He grinned when she finished it and then nibbled on a few chips.

"Now I know how to fix your appetite," he said.

"Going to marry me every day?" she asked.

He frowned, and she laughed.

He sat there and listened.

He had not heard her laugh in such a long time.

"About children…" he began.

She looked at him.

"I saw the way you held Scotty. I imagined what it would be like to see you holding ours."

She swallowed. "You have?"

"Better sleep. Tomorrow we fish."

"About that…do you expect me to impale an earthworm and send it to its watery death just so some fish can swallow it for our dinner?"

"No, I intend to stick a cricket on the end of the hook and toss him to a watery grave," he said.

"You'll have to do it…I don't like blood and guts," she whined.

"You're a CSI…you are still working right? You didn't quit?" he asked.

"Not unless you've fired me."

They were quiet for a moment.

"We won't be working together…they won't let us…"

"I'll handle it," he said.

"You don't regret…"

"Never," he said.

"Good, cause you're stuck with me."

He grinned.

"You're feet are cold," he whispered.

"You're warm," she said.

"Perfect mates," he whispered.

"Gil?"

"Hmmm?"

"Thank you," she said.

"For what?"

"Making love to me…for loving me," she sniffled.

"We've been alone together for a long time. I'm glad we're now mates."

She grinned. "I'll cook tomorrow."

He stiffened.

"What's wrong? Don't you think I can cook?"

"Nick told me about your cooking. So has Greg."

"I can cook!"

"Yes, dear."

"Dear? You called me dear?"

"Yes, dear. Go to sleep."

"He called me dear," she whispered.

There was silence.

"Night, honey," she said.

It was quiet.

"No wait. That didn't sound right. Night, sweetie…no that's not it…night…what do you want me to call you?"

"Sleep," he said.

"Fine. Night, bugman."

She smirked.

"Do not call me bugman."

She rolled over and kissed him. "I'll come up with something."

He kissed her back.

"I'm glad."

"Maybe I should…"

"Sara, sleep!"

"Night"

"Night…dear."

"You did that on purpose. You have the perfect endearment for me, but I don't have…"

He kissed her long, leaving her breathless.

"I'll sleep," she whispered.

She yawned.

It was quiet for several minutes.

"I liked honey," he said. "We could learn a lot from bees. The queen bee…"

"Gilbert…I'm sleeping."

"How did you know my full name was Gilbert?"

"Greg found out. It's his…I'm sleeping. I'm really sleeping," she said quickly.

"It's his what?" he demanded.

"Night…honey," she yawned.

"Night…dear."

He grinned.

He woke to the feel of her body sprawled across his.

He rolled over and was suddenly on top of her.

He was surprised she did not wake from the maneuver.

His lips sought out her breast, and he suckled on the nipple.

She moaned.

He switched breast as his hand reached down and rubbed her abdomen.

It was nice and smooth and flat.

He tried to imagine what she would look like if she were pregnant.

He leaned down and kissed her navel.

She moaned again.

"Good morning," she whispered.

He rose up and smiled. "Yes, it is."

His lips kissed her abdomen and then each thigh.

"That's nice," she said.

She was still sleepy. He leaned up and kissed her gently on the lips. She returned the kiss. He held her as he lay there very still hoping she would go back to sleep.

It was still early, and she was tired.

He had let himself get carried away.

She floated in and out of consciousness.

_He loves me…_

_Grissom loves me.._

_We made love…_

_David has no control anymore…_

_He has none…_

Her breathing was deep once more and he sighed.

_She's asleep again…_

_Need to let her sleep…_

He closed his eyes and slept as well.

She moaned slightly.

It was a wonderful dream.

He was on top of her, and she felt him inside her.

She wanted to move with him, but her arms would not budge.

She felt the pressure on her wrists.

The sensations were overpowering as she felt herself ready to climax.

Soon, she would feel him reach an orgasm.

"_Your body is mine to take when I want,"_

"_I'm your first,"_

"_Don't ever forget that."_

She screamed.

He jerked awake and tried to grab her.

It was a mistake.

She continued to scream.

"Sara!"

She stilled.

She opened her eyes and stared into blue.

Her eyes quickly shot from side to side.

He let go of her wrists.

"I didn't want you to hurt yourself," he said softly.

She nodded as she tried to gain her composure.

"You okay?"

She shook her head.

"He was here…I heard him… He was my first," she panted.

"I'm your last."

She pulled him tightly against her.

"Don't let go," she said.

"I won't."

He held her until she seemed to calm down.

He started to get up, but she pulled him down.

"Don't go," she whispered.

"I won't."

He kissed her softly on the lips. It was supposed to be a slight kiss, but she deepened the kiss until they were both panting.

"Sara…"

"Please."

There were no clothes to remove. They had not bothered to dress after their bout of lovemaking during the night. It did not take long before she was begging for him to enter her. He

reached into the drawer, but she took the condom from him. She gently stroked him until he was fully aroused before placing the condom on him. He kissed her on the cheek as he

positioned himself. His hand gently stroked the side of her thigh, and just as his hand began to lift her leg, she panicked.

"Don't," she said quickly.

He froze.

He saw fear in her eyes, and he let go.

He kissed her fully on the lips.

He caressed her abdomen with his fingertips.

"I love you, Sara," he whispered.

"So sorry," she choked out.

"Ssshh," he soothed.

His head slid down and left a trail of kisses on her abdomen. She held her breath as he kissed her tenderly on each thigh.

He breathed in deeply and her scent aroused him further.

"So sweet," he said.

He gently nudged her legs apart, and she wrapped her legs around him as he plunged deeply. She gasped from the sheer pleasure of him inside her.

Their bodies rocked in perfect unison until they reached a climax. He plunged one last time before pulling out.

"Eight days left," she said.

"Counting them down?" he asked.

"Savoring them," she said.

Note from author:

I have dinner plans so I thought I had better release an extra chapter for those of you who are being so kind and leaving a review for each chapter. By the way, some have asked that dreaded question as to how long it is...well it was only 27 chapters but then I had this...you know...another dream and well I couldn't help but include it in this story so I am writing away. I will tell you when we get to the last ten chapters...

Take care,

Penny


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen:**

Day Six:

He woke to an empty bed.

He grabbed his robe and stepped out to the smell of breakfast.

She stood there with the table set.

They smiled at one another.

"It smells good," he said.

"I made veggie omelets," she said.

He sat down and took a bite.

"Good," he said.

"See. I can make some things," she said.

"Yes, you can."

He was pleased when her plate was emptied.

"You've gotten your appetite back," he said with a smile.

"Yes, I have," she said licking her lips.

He grinned. "Why do I think that has dual meaning?"

She smiled.

It wasn't just a slight smile.

It covered her face.

"We should get ready to fish," he said as he helped clear the table.

"You really want to fish?" she asked.

"What would you like to do?" he asked.

"Shower…then bed…lunch…then bed," she said.

"Shower," he said as he pulled her close.

"Shower with me," she said.

"I can do that," he said.

She had never showered with anyone before.

She stuck it away in her memory as another first with Grissom.

They were in bed within minutes.

He was reluctant to initiate any lovemaking.

"Just let me hold you," he said.

_I don't want to push you…_

_Small steps…_

_No need to rush…_

She pursued him.

She straddled his body.

His hands caressed her skin.

She was soft and lovely.

She leaned down and kissed him.

He was content to let her sit there.

He was not prepared for her to seductively rub herself against him.

It did the trick, and she grinned.

A kiss was planted here and there.

Soon, he was fully aroused.

She was quite pleased with herself.

He anticipated the next move, and he caught her hips just as she lifted her body to take him inside her.

She looked at him.

"Condom," he said.

She bit her lower lip.

He released her.

He slid smoothly inside her.

She glanced at his reaction, but he said nothing.

"Just wanted to see what it would feel like," she said.

"Too good," he said.

"I'll get a prescription for birth control pills when we get back," she said.

"Have you ever taken any?"

Of course she hadn't.

"We'll consider the options," he said.

"Options?"

"We could continue to use condoms…until we're ready to start a family. It might be easier for your body to adjust to…"

"Family?"

"When you're ready," he said.

"You mean when we're ready," she said.

"Sara, being pregnant affects you more than me. It takes a lot out of a woman…"

He saw the look.

"I remember Catherine's pregnancy. It wasn't easy."

She nodded.

"Besides, a full check up would ensure you're ready," he said.

She kissed him.

It was long and deep, and he quickly pulled himself out of her.

"Let's get that condom," he said.

He was gentle.

She urged him on.

He went slowly.

She was frenzied.

In the end, they climaxed together.

She rolled over and grinned.

"I love you," she said.

"I love you."

They spent the day in bed.

She slept on and off between bouts of lovemaking.

When the nightmare did not return, she felt confident she had rid herself of David.

He was hopeful.

She insisted on fixing dinner.

She burnt it.

It was not her fault.

She had joined him on the front porch, and they had gotten carried away.

He decided he would have to be careful when it came to Sara.

One look or gesture and he could not resist taking her.

She wasn't any better.

She purposely touched him in areas that she learned would cause an instant arousal.

She was smug when she managed to get him into a frenzy.

The smug was replaced with alarm when smoke billowed out of the cabin.

Grissom had almost dumped her onto the porch when he saw the smoke.

He hurried inside grabbing the dish and dumped it outside.

She had stood there staring at the dinner on the grass.

He had chuckled.

It had hurt her feelings.

He made it up to her by resuming their lovemaking.

He had never imagined using the porch swing for such an endeavor.

It had worked.

He was glad for the secluded atmosphere.

He did not think they would be able to get away with it in Vegas.

She had given up cooking.

He was relieved.

He had grown attached to the cabin.

They had driven into town and eaten at a small diner.

He had then talked her into taking a walk through the small town.

He knew that if they returned to the cabin, they would just be in bed.

He felt she needed the fresh air.

He also needed the rest.

They found a quiet place in the park and sat down.

"We need to discuss some things," he said.

"Things?"

"We'll need to move your things to the townhouse," he said.

He looked at her reaction.

"Okay."

_That was easy…_

"About work," he began.

He could tell she was fidgeting.

"I'm not giving you up. You're staying on graveyard…with me."

"But…"

"I won't accept anything else," he said.

"But…"

"Sara, I've worked endless hours getting the lab to its position. I think I can ask for one or two favors," he said. "Besides, the award we just received…"

She froze.

"I'm sorry it had to be given to us by Hollister," he said.

"We didn't win that award," she said.

"Yes, we…what do you mean?" he asked.

"David said he bought the other judges…he paid to get me back in San Francisco," she said.

"David lied."

She looked at him.

"Sara, I know several of the judges. They can't be bought for any price. He used the opportunity to get to you…we earned it."

He saw the doubt in her eyes.

"When we get back, I'll make some inquiries. I'm sure the judges will not be too thrilled to hear Hollister's accusations."

"Maybe you shouldn't," she said suddenly.

"Why not?"

"Maybe he'll leave us alone…he did when I came to Vegas."

"Are you afraid of him?" he asked.

"Yes."

"I won't let him hurt you again."

"He's…cruel," she said barely above a whisper.

It hurt him.

He still felt guilty.

He held her close.

He tried to lighten the moment.

"You should be afraid of Jim."

"Why?"

"We got married without him."

She grinned. "He's going to be surprised."

"I think everyone is going to be surprised," he said.

Note from author:

Thanks for the comments in the reviews. I have chuckled over some of them.

Take care,

Penny


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen:**

Day seven:

"Good morning," she whispered between kisses.

He smiled.

He liked married life.

"Seven days left," she said.

"Stop."

"What?"

"Are you afraid things are going to change when we get back?" he asked as he brushed the hair from her face.

"We'll be back…at the lab," she said softly.

He knew she still had fears of his rejection.

"Sara, I'm not going to change. You're my wife. You have my ring, my name, my heart…even my shirt," he teased as he saw the oversized shirt on her body.

"I got cold. I grabbed the first thing," she said.

"It looks good on you…even better off," he said as his hand crept underneath the shirt.

She winced.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"A little sore," she admitted.

"That position…we shouldn't have tried…"

"I wanted to," she pouted.

He kissed her nose. "No staying inside today. We're going fishing."

"Fishing?"

"No falling in…no none of this," he said pointing to the tangled bed sheets. "Not until tonight."

She pretended to pout, but she needed a rest.

They were both eager when they arrived at the creek.

Already, a bet had been offered and accepted.

"I catch the first one," he said with a slight grin. "I get to decide what we do tomorrow."

"If I catch the first one," she said with a Sidle smile, "I get to decide the next position."

He swallowed hard.

She could be very seductive at times.

He wasn't sure how it happened, but as soon as his back was turned, he heard the splash.

She had fallen in.

He turned and she was on the other side of the creek.

"I did that on purpose," she said.

"Right," he said with a grin.

He glanced at her.

"Sara…you're on the wrong side of the creek," he said.

She gawked at him.

"I uhm meant to do that too," she said.

He tossed in his line.

She stood there and stared at him.

"How am I going to…"

"Use your CSI expertise…bait the line, and throw it in."

She screwed up her nose when she took out the worm.

"How did I get the worms?" she complained.

"You grabbed the wrong container," he said with a grin.

She held the slippery worm out as she attempted to place the hook through its body.

"I can't do this," she whined.

"Didn't think you had it in you," he said.

The gauntlet was thrown.

She stabbed the worm and tossed the line.

It landed in the tree above her.

He smirked but turned so she could not see his reaction.

She yanked.

There was another splash.

His shoulders shook.

"It's not funny," she yelled.

"Yes, it is."

She climbed out of the creek.

"Should have waded over to my side," he said.

He was right.

She wanted to swipe the smugness off his face.

She also wanted to know what it would feel like to make love to him in the creek.

She was glad the water was cold.

She was glad the worm was still attached.

She carefully swung the fishing line, and it landed next to his.

She smiled.

They both stood there staring at one another.

She was dripping from head to toe.

He wanted nothing more than to make love to her.

He was glad the creek separated them.

Her pole jerked.

His did too.

He yanked his up, but then he realized it was tangled with hers.

"Hold on tight," he said.

"I have a fish?" she asked.

"One of us has a fish," he said.

She looked confused.

"Our lines are tangled."

He attempted to untangle the lines, but it was useless.

"I'll have to cut them," he said.

"No, you're not! That's my fish!" she yelled.

Another splash was heard as she waded back into the water.

"Sara…"

She yanked up the lines, and a huge fish appeared.

"Hang onto the pole!" he yelled.

She did.

She was not prepared to step into a hole as she went under.

She came up, and he was there beside her.

They dragged the poles to the bank.

He carefully pulled the fish out of the water.

It was a huge trout.

"Jim would be jealous," he grinned.

He examined the lines and looked at her.

"It's your fish," he said.

She smiled.

"My first fish!"

"It's quite a catch," he said proudly.

She lunged at him causing him to lose his balance.

He fell back as she kissed him.

"Quite a catch," she panted.

He smiled.

She pulled up the fish.

"Is this enough for dinner?" she asked.

"Yes, I think it's enough for two," he said.

"Then we can go back to the cabin?" she asked.

"Yes."

She had showered and changed while he cleaned the fish and prepared it for dinner.

He glanced over at her and smiled.

She had fallen asleep while lying in front of the fire.

He stepped into the shower.

It had been quite a day.

He chuckled over and over while he washed himself.

He sat there on the couch with his book while she slept.

He leaned back and dozed.

He woke to her screams.

He quickly tried to wake her but she was still enthralled in the battle.

"Stop!" she screamed. "You're hurting me!"

He grabbed her wrists as she rolled near the fireplace.

"Sara!"

"Grissom!"

They both froze.

She gasped for air.

He reached out to touch her, but she scooted away.

"It's okay. It was just a dream," he said softly.

She glanced around suddenly.

"Sara…It's me," he said.

The taste of copper brought her hand up.

He saw the slight trickle of blood.

"Let me see," he said.

"It's nothing," she said as she got up.

She started to walk away when he stopped her.

"No. You're my wife. Let me see!"

She turned and he examined her mouth.

"You bit your lip," he said quietly.

She refused to make eye contact with him.

"Sara, you called out my name," he said.

She said nothing.

"Did you…yell for me that night?" he asked.

She refused to answer.

He wanted to press for more information but knew she was not ready.

"I'll start dinner," he said.

She headed toward the bedroom, but his hand caught hers.

"Don't hide this," he said. "Don't give him any power over us."

"I'm sorry…not used to…sharing," she said.

"Me either. We'll need to remind one another," he said.

She started to walk away.

"Sara?"

She turned and looked at him.

"The nightmares will go away," he said.

"I love you," she said softly.

"I love you, too."

She could hear him in the kitchen as she pressed her body against the bedroom door.

She closed her eyes and willed herself not to cry.

_Don't give in…_

_Grissom is right…_

_It takes time…_

_The nightmares will go away…_

She remembered a few things.

She remembered the struggle to get him off and the feel of his knee in her ribs.

She remembered her screams.

She had forgotten.

It was the reason for the broken ribs.

He had been angered.

Each time she screamed his name she had been punished.

She was hoarse, battered and bruised after the assault.

She sat there on the bed and took deep breaths.

She remembered the taste of blood in her mouth.

She had bitten down so hard she had drawn blood.

It was her own doing.

His pain had been inflicted in areas that could be concealed.

No one noticed the long sleeves that covered the bruises to her wrists.

She doubted if anyone even noticed the broken ribs.

There were cuts and bruises in other areas.

She swallowed hard as she remembered trying to walk to the bathroom and feeling the immense pain.

She had sat down in the floor and cried.

She wanted nothing more than to shower and wash him from her body, but her training told her she couldn't.

She called Jenny.

Jenny had let herself in the apartment when Sara did not answer the door.

She had helped Sara dress and then took her to the hospital.

She had sat there and held Sara while she cried as they waited for a nurse.

Jenny had done all of this.

"_Sara, you have to tell me who did this," said Jenny._

"_David."_

"_David would never…"_

"_I don't know how he got in. He didn't have a key. I thought it was Grissom. I think I'm going to be sick," she said._

"_Sara, are you sure?"_

"_It was David. I saw him face to face… It was David. He raped me!"_

She closed her eyes from rest of the memory.

Note from author:

I'm back on the road soon so I am going to post two chapters to hold you over until I am back home. Everyone is on an honor system so please leave a review for each chapter. I will post again when I get back home.

Take care,

Penny


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen:**

They returned to Vegas early.

He wanted her to have some time adjusting to the townhouse.

They had brought some of her things over.

They did not wish to let anyone know they had returned until they were ready.

The first night at the townhouse had seemed awkward.

She felt out of place.

He attempted to make her at ease but failed miserably.

"If you don't like the house we can sell it," he said.

"No…it's just I've always wondered…I've sat outside many times but never came in," she said. "I never had the nerve to knock on your door."

"I did the same," he said.

"What would you like to do?" he asked.

He smiled when she slowly removed each piece of clothing until she stood naked before him.

"So lovely," he whispered as he took her into his arms.

"You still want me…even though we're back in Vegas?" she asked softly.

"God, yes Sara. I've always wanted you….will always want you," he said as he kissed her tenderly.

GSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSR

"Good to see you two back," said Nick as he spotted both of them in the hallway.

"Hey, the undersheriff has some guy coming around to observe us. It's for some special committee. I don't know all of the details. I'm sure Brass will fill you in," Nick said as he headed into the break room.

"Great. That's all we need. Some reporter shadowing us," said Sara.

"Play nice…dear," he whispered as he headed toward his office.

She grinned as she watched him leave.

"Where did you go?" asked Nick. "You look great. I need some time off."

"Sorry, but it's a family home."

"A family home. You never mentioned…"

She flashed a smile and then headed out once her coffee cup was filled.

She met Greg in the hallway.

"Hey, Greggo!"

"Sara! Good to see you back."

"Let's do lunch this week," she called.

"It's a date," he yelled.

Sara grinned as she saw Grissom's head stick out of his office. She tipped her coffee cup at him.

She continued on her way to her desk. She froze when she looked down the hall and saw David Hollister.

Grissom glanced out once more and saw her standing there.

"Sara?"

He walked up and looked down the hall.

He cursed when he saw Hollister.

"Come into my office," he whispered.

"What's he doing here?" she asked.

"I'll find out," he said as he led her into the office.

Already Hollister was making his way toward them.

He felt her tremble.

She stepped into the office, and he quickly shut the door as he stood outside.

"Good to see you again, Mr. Grissom," said Hollister as he stood there.

"It's not good. What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm on a task force to observe crime labs…funding is getting harder and harder every year," he said.

He tried to see inside the office but the shades were pulled.

"Looking for someone?" he asked.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I am. I'm looking for Sara. We have unfinished business," he said.

"It's finished," said Grissom blocking the door.

"Now that is for Sara and I to decide."

"I don't think so," said Grissom. "Stay away from her."

"I just want to talk with her," he said. "You can't keep me from talking with her, especially since I'll be observing her."

"No, you won't."

"I just cleared it with your boss," he sneered.

"You're not going near her," said Grissom.

"I don't think personnel would like it if I happened to report how a supervisor of a well known crime lab was cozying up with an employee. I believe that's against department rules. Isn't it?"

"Go ahead," smiled Grissom.

Hollister's smile faded.

"Look, Grissom, all I want to do is finish our discussion….the discussion you interrupted at my sister's home."

"It's not necessary," said Grissom.

Hollister glanced around to notice that Nick and Warrick were now standing behind Grissom.

Grissom looked back.

"Is there a problem, Griss?" asked Warrick.

"None. Mr. Hollister was just leaving," said Grissom.

"You can't keep her from me. She's mine!"

Grissom stepped forward.

Warrick and Nick did the same.

"She's not your property!" he threatened.

"We were engaged five years ago. I made a mistake by breaking it off. I asked her again. She didn't give me an answer," said David.

"She did. You didn't listen."

"Sara Sidle is going to marry me."

Warrick and Nick looked at one another.

"Sara Sidle cannot marry you," said Grissom.

"She's not your property either!" yelled David.

"No, she's not. She's my wife!"

David Hollister stood there and gawked.

"What?"

"You are not going near my wife. If you do, I'll slap a stalking charge against you and, personally shove your ass in the county jail."

Warrick and Nick snickered.

"I'll help," said Brass as he walked up.

"There's still the matter of the…"

"You can observe anyone else except Sara."

"I'll see about that," he said as he turned and walked away.

"Boss man, tell me you were not bluffing," said Warrick.

"I wasn't, we're married. I need for all of you to keep an eye on Mr. Hollister," said Grissom as he turned toward the door.

"Excuse me. Sara is in my office," he said as he quickly stepped inside and shut the door.

She sat there on the couch with her hands folded.

He knelt down in front of her.

"You okay?" he asked.

She nodded, but then she shook her head.

He held her just as there was a tap at the door.

Brass poked his head in.

"Sorry, but Ecklie wants to see us."

"Stay in here…just until we know he's gone," said Grissom.

"I need to work," she said.

"I need to know you're safe," he said.

She nodded.

Grissom stepped out.

"Nick, could you sit with Sara…make sure he doesn't get anywhere near her?"

"You got it," he said.

"Anything I can do?" asked Warrick.

Grissom looked at him. "We need to talk in private," he said.

Brass looked at him. "Hollister is going to be a problem isn't he?"

"He's persistent. He's not getting near Sara."

"Did this guy hurt her?" asked Warrick.

He had not wanted anyone to know, but he knew he would need help.

He had planned to contact the hospital in San Francisco to see if there were any medical records of Sara's assault.

"Yes. I need to tell you some things…just between us," said Grissom.

Warrick nodded.

He stepped into Ecklie's office an hour later.

"Have you met David Hollister?" asked Ecklie.

"Yes, I have."

"He's going to be observing the crime lab," said Ecklie.

"Conrad, I need to tell you a few things."

"Already? You just got back. How was the convention?"

"I skipped it."

"Oh, did you find something better to do with your time off?"

"Yes I did. I got married."

"Married?"

"Yes. Sara and I were married."

Ecklie stared at him in disbelief.

"Was this planned?"

"No."

"So you two just happen to have two weeks off, and you get married."

"Yes."

"If it came from anyone else, I wouldn't believe them."

They were both quiet.

"Congratulations," said Ecklie extending his hand.

Grissom shook it.

"Why do I feel like there is some bomb shell that is about to explode," said Ecklie.

"David Hollister is not here to observe the lab. He came here to get to Sara."

"I thought there was a bomb shell. I think I referred to your wife as a loaded cannon once."

"He's not getting near Sara."

"He specifically asked to observe Sara because of the research study."

"He's not…"

"Give me one good reason other than you're suddenly an overprotective husband who…"

"David Hollister sexually assaulted Sara five years ago in San Francisco."

"Is there any proof? He's the DA for Christ sake!"

"I'm working on it. Sara went to the hospital. I'm not sure if there will be any records."

"Why didn't she file a report?"

"The SA kit disappeared. He was the assistant DA. He was friends with the DA, and his father was politically connected. It would have been her word against his."

"There would have been evidence…"

"Conrad, she was young and scared. She's been through the system as a child."

He looked confused.

"Her father was a violent man. He physically abused Sara and her mother. Her mother killed him. She was convicted of manslaughter. Sara was placed in foster care."

"Oh hell," he muttered. "It explains some things."

"Yes, it does."

"Why in the hell didn't someone tell me? I'm not a cold bastard," he said. "It explains why she tends to go overboard on domestic violence cases…there's the problem with rape cases."

Their eyes locked.

"Shit," he said.

Both were quiet.

"David Hollister….squeeky clean David Hollister."

Grissom nodded.

"Does Sara know he's here…in the building?"

"She saw him. I have her in my office right now until Hollister leaves."

"She needs to go back to work."

"I'm not…"

"Gil, he's going to use anything and everything if he is determined to see Sara. Let him. If he steps over the line, we'll get the son of a bitch. In the meantime, try to get something tangible

that we can flash in his face and send him running back to San Francisco."

Grissom nodded.

"I'll tell security to keep a close eye on Sara."

"Thanks, Conrad," said Grissom as he stood.

"Wait. You owe me," said Ecklie. He pulled out a stack of forms and threw them at Grissom.

"Name change, insurance forms, change in supervision…"

"About the change in supervision…I don't want her moved to another unit. I've never called in any favors…I am now."

"She can stay in the unit just under someone else…Catherine."

Grissom picked up the forms.

"Thanks."

"Gil?"

"Try not to let this get out. I like being referred to as an uncaring hard ass."

Grissom grinned.

Note from author:

I couldn't resist making Ecklie not a hard ass in this...

Take care,

Penny


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty:**

He walked into his office and found it empty.

He immediately began to panic, but Nick walked in.

"Hollister left. She went to work. Hodges is working with her," he said. "I thought it was okay."

"Yes, it was Nicky, thanks."

"Is everything okay?"

"It's fine," he said.

"Congratulations on the marriage," he said.

"Thanks."

"Dinner at the diner," said Nick as he walked away. "Everyone will be there."

His finger tips caressed her shoulder as he sat there with the others.

He said little as they drilled her for details.

He offered a grin or a smile when she talked about the cabin.

He took a drink of tea and looked across the diner.

He said nothing as he noticed David Hollister sitting there.

Hollister was not in Sara's view and Grissom was glad.

She was happy.

He wanted this time to not be tarnished by Hollister.

Once the food was finished, he picked up the tab and then kissed her gently on the cheek.

"We have work to do," he said.

Catherine smiled. "He's such a romantic."

"He is. He really is," said Sara.

Grissom motioned to Brass who then took Sara's hand.

"You have to tell me where you caught that fish in the creek."

"Well, it was…"

Grissom waited until they were gone.

"Hollister is here," he said.

"I've been watching him," said Warrick. "If the bastard made a move toward the table, I was going to take him outside."

"I can go with that," said Nick as he shook Warrick's hand.

"You didn't tell us what happened between Sara and Hollister," said Catherine.

"There's no need," spoke up Warrick. "One look and you can see he's obsessed with Sara."

"I just need all of you to keep a close eye on Sara."

They nodded.

He insisted she drive home with him.

They still needed to clean out her apartment.

They had moved most of her clothes and personal items to the townhouse on the first day of their return.

Boxes still littered the floor.

They stepped inside, and he set the alarm.

She glanced at it a moment before collapsing on the couch.

"Tired?" he asked.

"Frustrated," she said.

"I don't think I'm at fault for that," he quipped.

"He's not going to give up," she said. "Jenny has left ten messages. The front desk handed me several from him."

"Sara, he'll stop when he sees he's not going to get near you. Besides, if he steps out of line, he'll be arrested. We have to keep the messages as evidence."

"I'm worried. He could make waves for the department…for us."

"I'm not worried. I spoke with Conrad. He's fully prepared…"

"Ecklie knows…what he did?" she asked suddenly.

He sat down across from her.

"Sara, I had to tell him…explain why Hollister didn't need to be near you."

She nodded.

"I'm sorry. I didn't see any other way."

"It's fine. I'm just glad he's not mad…I mean about the marriage, then David."

"You have a lot of paperwork tonight," he said.

"Paperwork?" she asked.

He pulled out the forms.

He smiled as she grimaced.

"A small price to pay to have your name changed to mine."

"Want to eat?" he asked.

"You cooking?" she asked.

"For you…yes."

He rolled over and watched her sleep.

She was getting better with each day.

He gently caressed the small of her back as he softly kissed her on the forehead. She had insisted on making love. He had wanted her to sleep. She refused. He was afraid David's presence

would have caused a setback, but it hadn't. She had straddled him the moment he entered the bed even though he was trying to protest. There was no stopping her. She had learned

where to touch him. She was a quick learner. Once he was aroused, she had settled down on his shaft sending both of them into a frenzy.

She had collapsed on top of him, and he had rolled her off spooning her body up next to his and threatening her if she did not sleep. There would not be another round. He needed time to

think. She had fallen asleep immediately as he lay there and held her. Hours passed, and still he could not sleep. He wondered if Warrick had been successful with finding any evidence of

the rape. She moaned, and his attention returned to her. She plopped onto her stomach, and he smiled.

He slipped out of the bed and grabbed his robe. He made his rounds as he checked the alarm system. Hollister had objected to Ecklie but had gotten nowhere. In the meantime, Warrick

was trying to get access to the patient records without tipping off Hollister. He checked his phone and saw that Warrick had left a message. He glanced at the clock and dialed.

"Hey, I'm glad you called," said Warrick.

"I couldn't sleep," said Grissom.

"Neither could I."

"Found anything?" he asked.

By the sound of Warrick's voice Grissom knew he had.

"All of the hospitals are required to document any sexual assault cases. Sometimes, this isn't done if the patient refuses to press charges. The nurse on duty that night did a thorough job.

She documented the physical as well as the emotional trauma."

He stopped for a moment. "Griss, there were photos. I didn't look at them. The nurse wasn't surprised that Sara changed her mind after the rape kit disappeared. Of course, the name of the

assailant was well known."

"David Hollister."

"She says she remembers the case so vividly because the rape kit came up missing. She searched everywhere, but it had just disappeared. It was pure luck the photos did not disappear.

There had been a problem with the film getting processed. Their technician was behind. When she finally got the photos, it was then she noticed the kit was gone. She took the photos

along with a copy of the file and put them in a different file cabinet. When no charges were ever filed, she forgot about it. I'll give you the photos and the report at shift," he said.

"Thanks, Warrick."

"Griss?"

"Yes?"

"Did Sara tell you about the rape?" he asked.

"Not in great detail," he said quietly.

"I read the medical report…maybe you shouldn't see the photos. He uhm hurt her."

Grissom held the phone.

"Griss?"

"Put everything in an envelope for my eyes only."

"I will."

He reached into the cabinet and pulled out a bottle. He had downed a glass before he had time to think. He put it away and sat there staring at the walls.

Her screaming brought him back to reality.

He ran into the bedroom and grabbed her shoulders.

"Sara!"

She woke as he quickly clutched her to him.

"You're safe," he whispered.

She glanced around the room.

"I heard him…I heard him…I thought I was in bed with you, and then I heard his voice," she said.

"It was just a dream," he said.

He released her, but her hands did not let go of his robe.

"It's fine," he said.

"It's fine," she repeated.

"Try to go back to sleep, he said.

She quickly shook her head. "I don't want to sleep."

He knew she had gotten very little sleep.

"Let me call Catherine…"

"No! I'm working," she said.

He did not object.

She needed to work.

Several messages were sitting in her inbox when she arrived at work. She scanned through them and found they were all from Jenny.

She shoved them down into her jacket.

She checked the board and saw that a new case had just arrived. She popped in to see Catherine.

"Hey, I saw the new case on the board. I'm up next. I'll just get my kit and head out there," she said.

"I can give it one of the guys," Catherine said.

"No thanks. It's my turn, and I'll take it."

"Are you sure?" asked Catherine.

"See you later," said Sara as she headed to her locker.

She started to step out the door when she ran into Grissom.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"New case just came in," she said.

"Who's going with you?" he asked.

"I'll have the police. I'm sure Brass will be there just as soon as you pick up your phone and tell him I'm working solo," she said with a grin.

"I could come…"

"Gil…no. This is my job. I can handle this on my own. I'll be back in a few hours," she said.

"Be careful. Make sure the officer stays with you at all times," he said as she stepped out the door.

"Yes, dear," she called.

"That's my…"

The door had already shut.

He headed down the hall and stopped at Judy's desk to pick up his messages. As he started to walk away, Judy called out to him.

"Mr. Grissom, there's a woman here to see you."

He turned and saw that it was Jenny.

"Mr. Grissom, I need to talk with you. It will only take a minute."

"I don't think we should be talking," he said as he started to walk away.

"Wait," she said as she grabbed his arm. "David knows what you're up to."

He stopped.

"He still has contacts at the hospital. You'll find the nurse is now gone…given early retirement."

"Why tell me this?" he asked.

She stepped closer as she spoke in a whisper. "My father had someone to remove the rape kit from the hospital…just in case Sara filed charges…he was trying to do damage control."

"Do you know who took it?"

"Yes, but is that important? My father did it to protect David."

"He protected a rapist," he said.

"I really didn't know what David was going to do. I just thought he was going to try to make up with Sara. After it happened and Sara told me, I confronted David. My father overheard the

conversation. He said he would take care of it by getting rid of the evidence. He got someone I know to do it. I'll admit I didn't believe her at first, but then I saw the bruises…I believed her.

I told David I was going to get Sara to press charges. My father went crazy. He threatened to disinherit David if he did not stay away from Sara."

She took a deep breath.

"My father had the department to offer Sara an investigator three position, but she turned it down flat. She knew they were trying to buy her silence. Without the rape kit, she knew it

would be her word against David's. She didn't really have a chance against them."

They looked at one another.

"My husband is a good man. He made a mistake but it was a mistake that could have cost him his job. My father knew about it and blackmailed him into taking the kit."

She looked around to make sure no one else was hearing the conversation.

"I had to protect Brad, so I said nothing. I let Sara think that I didn't believe her. She stayed away from me after that. I wasn't a good friend. I should have helped her more. I didn't tell

David that Sara was going to be at the house. Mr. Grissom, I never meant for Sara to be hurt. I'm sorry."

Grissom started to walk away when she called him back once more.

"Mr. Grissom, David hasn't been acting like himself for weeks. Keep a close eye on Sara."

He didn't like the last statement.

Note from author:

Of all things, my husband decided to stay another night…I'm not home yet but it doesn't keep me from posting. I will try to post two more chapters tomorrow before I leave.

Take care,

Penny


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter twenty one:**

Warrick was sitting in his office when he walked in.

He knew he would be.

"I didn't want to leave this lying around," he said as he handed it to Grissom.

Grissom's shaking hands took the package as he sat down.

"Did you get any sleep?" asked Grissom.

"Not much. Is she alright?" he asked.

"She's fine, Warrick," he said with a slight smile.

"Griss, if there's anything I can do, let me know," he said.

"Thanks."

He watched as the young man left.

He stood and locked the door as he sat back down.

He breathed in deeply.

He did not want to do this.

There was no one else.

He did not want anyone to see the photos.

He knew Sara did not want the others to know what Hollister had done.

He knew she would be upset that Warrick had been told.

He had to do this for her.

He had to find enough evidence so Ecklie could force Hollister away from Vegas.

_Treat it like a case…_

_Remove yourself…_

_This is just another case…_

_Don't let it get to you…_

His fingers trembled as he opened the envelope.

The photos fell out onto the desk.

He was thankful they were in another envelope.

He took a deep breath and read the medical report.

_Bruises on the wrists, torso, inner thighs and buttocks…_

_Bruising on wrists indicative of handprint…_

_Severe bruising on right ribs…_

_Will check for fracture…_

_Cuts and scratches on wrists and thighs…_

_Cut lip…_

_Internal tearing from forced…_

He clenched his teeth as he read it.

His mind forced him to read some parts over and over since he found it hard to believe that Sara did not file charges.

_How could she?_

_She would be going against her own DA's office…_

_She would face difficulty no doubt in her job…_

_David would have made it difficult for her…_

_Still…_

He stared at the remaining envelope.

He started to take Warrick's advice, but he found himself opening it up.

He swallowed hard as he looked at each one.

He could not imagine the horror she went through at the hands of Hollister.

_He knew what he was doing…_

_He knew he was inflicting pain…_

_He wanted to punish her…_

_He wanted to break her…_

_She refused a Hollister…_

_Sara was considered beneath him, and she refused him…_

_He wanted to teach her a lesson..._

_Prove who was in control…_

He wanted nothing more than to kill the man.

_He can cover a rape…_

_I can cover a murder…_

He quickly put the photos up as soon as he heard the knocking.

He unlocked the door to find her standing there.

He quickly pulled her inside and shut the door.

She looked at him strangely as he took her into his arms and held her tight.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing," he whispered. "I love you."

She smiled. "I love you too."

"Finished your case?" he asked.

"Done."

"Let's have dinner," she said.

He smiled. "I'd like nothing more."

"See…so much better than saying no," she said.

"Yes, it is."

"Let me put some things away, and I'll be ready," he said as he turned quickly.

He was not fast enough as she glanced around and read her name upside down.

"Why is my name on that…"

He turned quickly and looked at her.

"Gil?"

She reached for the envelope, but he refused to give it to her.

"What is it?" she demanded.

He stood and struggled to come up with an explanation.

He decided to tell her the truth.

"I had Warrick to obtain the medical records of your assault."

Hurt and confusion crossed her face.

"Sara…"

"Why?"

"I don't want that bastard around you."

"He can do whatever he wants…"

"Sara, all we have to do is give Ecklie enough evidence to flash in Hollister's face and…"

"It will be his word against mine."

"We have the medical report and…the photos.…"

Her eyes widened as her hand covered her mouth. "Oh God, Warrick saw..."

"Warrick read the report. He never looked at the photos."

"What about you?"

He said nothing.

She quickly bolted from the office.

He hurried after her.

"Sara!"

She stopped abruptly. "Don't!"

She did not stop again until she was out of the building.

He did not give up the pursuit.

"Sara!"

"You should have told me!"

"I didn't know what Warrick would find."

"I never wanted you to see that…to see what he did…wasn't it enough to see how damaged I am?" she cried.

He grabbed her by the arms.

"You're not damaged! He may have hurt you, but he didn't damage you!" he yelled.

The single tear that slipped down her cheek caused him to pull her close to him.

"I'm sorry. I'm just trying to protect you. He doesn't deserve to be free."

"I wish you had never seen the photos," she whispered.

"I'm sorry," he said again.

"He'll find out. Once he does, he's going to…"

"He'll leave you alone. He won't risk his political career with a scandal."

"I'm worried about you," she said. "He'll go after you…he'll try to attack your credibility…he might hurt your career," she said.

"Don't be. He can't hurt us Sara."

He held her again.

"Trust me?" he asked.

"I trust you."

Note from author:

Okay, here is where I issue an angst warning…I am finally headed home...I so want to go home.

Take care,

Penny


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty Two:**

He cursed at himself as he remembered their conversation.

_I told her to trust me…_

_She did…_

_Now she might be dead because of me…_

He sped up as he drove along the country side.

She had wanted to get away.

He had suggested the cabin.

It seemed fine.

Hollister had been confined to observing the day shift.

It had been an ugly battle.

Hollister had insisted on working with Sara.

Ecklie had refused leading into questions about the assault in San Francisco.

He had categorically denied any wrongdoing.

He refused to be chased out of Vegas.

Hollister conceded by monitoring the day shift.

He had been angry but said nothing.

He had not interfered.

He had not even attempted to talk with Sara.

Of course, he did little that was not reported back to Grissom.

It did not matter.

The fact that he was in Vegas seemed to bother her.

She had needed the break.

The ordeal with Hollister had robbed her of her energy these days.

She was tired even though she slept all of the time.

The nightmares had returned with a vengeance.

He had awakened few mornings without hearing her screams.

At first she had permitted him to comfort her, but now she was angry each time she was shaken from the dreams.

He told her the dreams would get better.

They were getting worse.

He had finally suggested counseling.

She had nodded in agreement.

He had scheduled them.

She had cancelled them.

It had been that way for days.

He told himself a few days away would help.

Grissom had gotten tied up on a case and sent her ahead.

He pulled up at the cabin and breathed in deeply.

_Don't think the worst…_

_Don't think the worst…_

How could he not?

She had called frantically, but the reception had been poor.

It was a miracle she had managed to even get a signal there.

She had uttered one word, and it had sent chills down his back.

"David."

He had alerted Brass and headed out immediately.

A sinking feeling overcame him as he stared at the police car.

He stepped in immediately.

"There's no one here," said the officer.

Grissom looked around the cabin.

She had been there.

Her things were there.

Her car was parked out front.

"Where's Sara?" he asked immediately.

"I haven't been able to locate anyone," said the officer. "There seems to have been a struggle in the bedroom…nothing else."

The door opened and the others stepped in.

Grissom looked at Brass.

"Sara's not here. I don't know what he's done with her," said Grissom.

Nick set his kit down.

Grissom saw it immediately.

"Griss, maybe you should step out," said Nick.

"No…I need to help," he said.

Grissom glanced around the cabin.

Her jacket lay on the back of the couch.

Her keys were sitting on the counter.

He stepped into the kitchen and noticed the tea kettle was sitting off.

He looked around and saw her mug lying on the floor near the fireplace.

"She likes to drink tea while sitting in front of the fire," he said.

He noticed the book in the floor and then the overturned items on the small shelf near the bedroom.

He gulped and then headed toward the bedroom.

Warrick blocked him.

"You sure you want to do this?" asked Warrick.

"I have to," he said.

He stepped into the room and noticed the bed covers were thrown on the floor.

The lamp shade was sitting crooked.

He found her rings lying in the floor.

He picked them up before Nick could stop him.

"She never took these off," he said.

"Griss, they're evidence," said Nick.

Nick opened a plastic bag, and Grissom watched as they dropped inside.

Grissom held onto the bag.

He now faced the bed.

Nick stood beside him.

"I'll do this room," Nick said quickly. "Griss, you have to leave."

"I can't Nicky," he whispered. "I have to know what happened…what she went through."

Grissom glanced down and saw a drop of blood.

It was smeared as if someone had been trying to clean it up.

"There's blood on the floor," he managed to get out.

Greg was already there swabbing the spot.

All eyes stared at the swab.

It was definitely blood.

Grissom swallowed hard.

Nick waited until Grissom stepped out of the room before he began checking the bed for evidence.

He cursed silently as he came up with semen.

_Shit…._

_I hate my job sometimes…_

Greg's eyes met his.

"There's several blotches of blood on the floor…do you think he killed her?" asked Greg quietly.

"I don't know. We just need to collect the evidence…preserve any evidence we can," Nick said.

"They're going to call in another crew…we shouldn't be working the case," said Warrick.

"Do you trust anyone else? You think Grissom would trust anyone else but us?" asked Nick angrily.

"I don't want him to use anything as an excuse to get away with this…not like last time. Son of a bitch deserves to be…"

Warrick stopped when he saw Grissom return to the doorway.

"It's positive for semen, isn't it?" he asked Nick.

Nick and the others exchanged glances.

"Nick!" yelled Grissom.

"Yes."

He opened his shaking hand to reveal a prescription bottle. "I uhm found these in the kitchen."

He handed it to Warrick.

"She said she had something she needed to talk with me about…she'd not been herself lately. I thought it was…she may be pregnant. Those are prenatal vitamins," he said.

"Griss, we're going to find her," said Nick quickly.

"I didn't protect her," he said. "I told her to trust me, and she did. I never should have let her come here alone."

"You didn't know," said Warrick.

"Didn't I, Warrick? I've seen more than my share of monsters. You and I both know what he's capable of doing, and yet I let her come alone," he said.

"Griss…" began Warrick.

He had stepped out.

Grissom stood there motionless on the front steps.

"Gil! Remove your emotions, and treat this like a case!"

His head snapped up.

"Listen! He couldn't have gone far. You and I both know this area like the back of our hand. Let's split up. I've called for some cadaver dogs, but they won't…"

"You think she's dead…" he said trembling.

"No! I refuse to believe she's dead, but she could be hurt. The dogs can track her. In the meantime, I'm not going to just sit here. I want to search for her," said Brass.

Grissom nodded quickly.

He needed to do that.

He needed to feel like he was helping her.

"You take the trail down to the creek. I'll take the trail back towards the eagles nest…the bluff area," said Grissom.

They nodded as they began to leave.

A call came in for the officer.

"Mr. Grissom, there is a man by the name of Ecklie…"

Grissom kept walking.

"Mr. Grissom!"

Brass stopped and headed toward the officer.

"I'll take it," he said.

They cursed when Brass ordered them to stop collecting evidence.

"Ecklie is sending another crew," said Brass. "It's probably better."

"What are we supposed to do?" asked the guys.

"I'm not going to sit here," said Greg. "She could be out there somewhere."

"Grissom took off that way. Nick you go after him. Greg, you go with me. Warrick make sure nothing is touched in the cabin."

Grissom hurried along the path.

He felt hopeful when he found tracks along the path.

He became even more hopeful when he saw broken branches.

He stopped and listened.

He heard nothing.

He walked further down the trail but then noticed a piece of torn clothing, and he reached for it.

He stepped off the path and began searching for any clue as to which direction she may have taken.

He noticed it was the same direction they had taken that day when they were searching for the eagle's nest.

With each step he became hopeful, but then he found himself near the cliff.

_He wouldn't have gone this far…unless he was chasing her._

He stopped and looked around.

There was no sound.

He yelled.

He called her name and listened.

There was no sound.

He walked up to the edge of the bluff and immediately saw foot prints.

_Her foot prints…_

_Those are hers…_

_There was a scuffle…_

_He pushed her…_

_She fell…_

Thoughts of their last moments together played over and over in his head.

_Don't let it be the last…_

_Don't let me find her…_

He refused to let himself think that way.

He could not imagine losing her.

His chest heaved from the sheer terror that she was gone.

_Can't lose you Sara…_

_Can't lose us…_

_What happened?_

_What the hell happened?_

Note from author:

Since I'm going to be on the road most of the day, I am releasing two chapters so once again you are on your honor to post a review for each chapter.

take care,

Penny


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty Three:**

**The night before:**

Sara stood by the fire.

She missed him.

She was not used to being there without him.

She was not used to being anywhere without him.

_God, I love him…_

_We've been through so much…_

She wiped a tear that threatened as she put the kettle on for some tea.

She had tried to talk with him so many times but could not seem to bring herself.

She knew he was worried.

She had agreed to go to counseling but she could not bring herself to talk with anyone.

She needed to talk with Grissom.

She had not been honest and forthcoming with him.

She had gotten the OB appointment.

She had begun taking the prenatal vitamins.

She had prepared her body.

She was not prepared for the warnings she had been given.

They were not new.

She had heard them before.

She had heard them five years ago when she and David had discussed having a family.

She had always told herself she had plenty of time.

She didn't.

There was an urgency five years ago to marry and begin a family as soon as possible.

She accepted it.

It did not even worry her.

She was young.

She was dating.

David had even proposed.

Everything changed.

The marriage proposal was withdrawn.

It had not mattered to her.

She had met Grissom.

Her hopes and dreams were threatened by one night.

She put such notions aside.

She did not wish to marry.

She did not wish to have a family.

For a moment, she did not even want to live.

But, Grissom called.

He called again and again.

He kept her dreams alive.

She only wanted Grissom.

She had almost given up hope.

Now, she was married to him.

Now, she wanted that family.

Now, it might be too late.

_I should have told him…_

_I just let him believe that everything was fine…_

_It isn't…_

There was a noise in the bedroom and she wondered if a window had been left open.

She walked over to the entrance and panicked when she saw the bed was unmade.

She stepped back and felt his presence.

She whirled around but it was too late.

She felt strong arms grab her.

She kicked but the blow to the head brought her to her knees.

She lay there in the floor as she glanced over at the body that now lay in the floor next to her.

It was David.

She struggled to remain conscious.

_If that is David, who hit me?_

She pretended to be unconscious when she felt someone kick her, causing her body to roll over.

"I told you to be careful. She's tough," said the female voice.

"Bitch just got a lucky hit," sneered Brad.

"We don't have much time," said Jenny.

"Right," he said.

"Get her up on the bed," said Jenny.

"You still want this to look like a rape?" he asked.

"It has to be," said Jenny.

"Just making sure," he said as he pulled her into an embrace. "Not looking forward to fucking her when it's not you."

"Just focus on the pay off," she said.

"Shit…I'll need a condom…need to be sure and not leave any evidence," he said with a grin.

"I think we know how to stage a crime scene," said Jenny.

"Right."

"She still thinks it was David…of course she was too drugged to remember much…except what we gave her as memories," said Jenny.

"Your father bailed his ass out of the mess," said Brad.

"He was always doing that! That inheritance should have been mine!" said Jenny.

He patted her on the behind.

"Just hurry up and screw the bitch so we can kill her," said Jenny.

"You sure?" he asked again.

"My poor brother is in no condition to do anything. You hit him pretty hard. You're not supposed to kill him. We'll leave that up to Grissom. Once he sees that David raped and killed Sara,

nothing will save his ass this time," smiled Jenny.

"That's why I love you so much...you are definitely your father's daughter," Brad said.

"Too bad David did not take after him," she said.

"I better get rid of the cars," said Jenny. "Be finished by the time I get back…don't forget to make it look brutal," she said.

She stopped near the door. "Don't tire yourself out. I expect a good screw when we get home this evening."

"Always ready to please," said Brad as he unzipped his pants.

Sara heard the sound of a car as it drove away.

Brad loomed over her.

He grabbed her legs and spread them apart.

She tensed.

"Son of a bitch," he yelled as her eyes shot open and she kicked him in the crotch. He fell over in pain. Sara jumped up from the bed but his hand snaked out and tripped her. She fell to the

floor with a thud.

Brad grabbed her hand.

"Not so fast Sara. You liked it last time. Remember? It was me…not David."

He twisted her fingers and she felt him rip the wedding rings off her hand.

"Sorry…I think I took a bit of flesh off…get your ass over here so I can fuck you."

She kicked sending him backwards.

She struggled to get up but he was there once more.

She felt a kick in the ribs and she gasped.

Before she could catch her breath he delivered another blow to the ribs.

She felt herself losing consciousness as she struggled to breathe.

He rolled her over and sat on her.

"Good. This will help. It's supposed to look bad. It will be by the time I'm finished with you," he sneered.

There was a loud noise and Brad fell to the floor.

David grabbed Sara and brought her to her feet.

"We've got to get out of here," he said groggily.

"Why…why did they do this?" she asked panting.

"Money. My father cut Jenny out of his will. They wanted the inheritance…ten million dollars," he said as he looked out the cabin door.

He held his head for a moment.

"We've got to make a run for it," he said. "Jenny will be back."

"I'm not going anywhere with you," she said.

"Stay here and we die. Stay together and we might get out of here alive," he said.

He grabbed her hand and they took off running down the path.

Once they were out of sight, he stopped.

"You're wheezing," he said.

"Give me a minute," she said trying to catch her breath.

"Sit down over here," he said.

She sat there and breathed in deeply.

"Let me see," he said as he tried to pull up her blouse.

She slapped his hand. "Don't touch me!"

"Sara, I never raped you!"

"Yes…you did," she said.

"No! I didn't. I've been trying to get you to understand that…I never thought I was capable of that. I was angry…I was angry as hell that night but I stopped. I never hurt you. That bastard

Brad raped you…he did it for Jenny…his own wife."

She had heard Brad's confession herself.

She looked confused.

Her head hurt from the blow.

Her chest hurt from the kicks.

"I think he may have cracked some of your ribs…by the sound of your breathing, you could have punctured a lung," he said.

He tried once more to touch her but she refused.

"I'm sorry honey. I won't hurt you. I promise," he said.

"You did! I remember…you came that night…you…"

"Sara, I stopped. You said stop and I did despite the hell of amount of drugs in my system. Jenny thought I would rape you. I didn't. Brad had to finish the job. I'm sorry. You got caught in

the middle of this…because of me."

She shook her head.

She leaned over and vomited.

"You probably have a concussion," he said. "That knot is pretty nasty."

"We have... to try to make it... to the main road," she managed to get out as she stood.

"Sorry but I have no idea how to find the main road," he said.

"I do," she said.

He grabbed her just as she passed out.

"Shit!" he cursed as he held her limp body.

He quickly lifted her blouse and examined the black and blue marks.

He gently pressed on her ribs and cursed inwardly.

"Bastard broke several ribs."

He held her tight.

His hand caressed her cheek as he gently kissed her on the lips.

"I've missed you so much," he whispered. "Never should have let you go."

His hand on her forehead caused her to stir.

"Griss?"

Jealousy rose inside him.

"Sara…you've got to wake up," he said.

She stared intently into his face.

He expected her to bolt but she didn't.

"We've got to get out of sight," he whispered.

"Head hurts…can't breathe," she whispered.

He began to panic.

"Your ribs are cracked…you may have a punctured lung. Hell, Sara I've got to get you help."

"Brad…looking for us soon," she managed to get out.

He leaned down and kissed her lightly on the forehead. "I won't let him hurt you. I promise."

He gently picked her up and proceeded to walk trying to cover his tracks.

He found a heavily wooded area and he sat down with her in his arms.

"Just need to rest some," he said as he leaned his head up against the tree.

His head was pounding and his vision was blurred.

It was dark.

She woke an hour later.

His hand covered her mouth.

"They may be nearby," he whispered.

"It's cccold," she said.

He felt her forehead.

"You're burning up," he said.

"Hard to breathe," she said.

He pulled off his jacket and wrapped it around her.

"Just lie still," he said.

"Need to get…ttto road," she said.

"Not in the dark. Besides we don't know where they are," he whispered.

They heard footsteps and froze.

Minutes went by and they kept quiet.

"I don't think that was them," he whispered. "How are you doing?"

"tttiired," she said.

"Sara, I'm sorry…I'm sorry for getting you into this mess."

"I ttttrusted Jjjjenny," she said.

"I'm sorry. I played into her hands as well. I thought she was trying to help me win you back but instead…I just wanted you."

"Llllove Grissom," she managed to get out.

"I know," he said leaning back against the tree.

His head felt as if it were going to explode.

He knew he was seriously injured.

He lost his train of thought several times.

His vision remained blurred.

He wasn't sure how long he could remain conscious.

He also knew with a head injury he should stay immobile.

He couldn't.

He knew what Brad would do if he caught them.

His arms wrapped protectively around her.

He felt her body relax against him.

"Hurts…tttto breathe," she said as she coughed.

"Look, I've got to get to the main road," he said. "You're in no condition to walk."

"I cccan tell yyyou," she said.

"I don't want to leave you. What if Brad and Jenny find you?" he asked worriedly.

"I'll sstay hhhid," she said.

"No," he said. "I'm not leaving you."

"Pppplease," she said.

He wrapped his jacket tighter around her.

"Stay hidden. I'll be back as soon as I can," he said.

She slowly gave him directions.

He made her repeat them several times.

She grabbed his hand before he left.

"Sssorrry," she said.

"Not your fault," he said kissing her lightly on the forehead.

He pretended he did not see her cringe.

"I'll win your trust again," he said.

He was gone.

She lay there and shivered.

There was a rustling noise and she felt hands on her body.

She expected to see David but instead it was Brad.

"Thought you would get away!" he yelled.

He yanked her up as she struggled to get away.

"Time to get rid of you," he said as he dragged her along.

"Llllet go!" she yelled.

"Hurry up…we've got to get out of here," said Jenny.

"Jenny ddddon't do ttthis!" said Sara.

"Sorry honey but it's all about the money," she said.

Sara scratched at Brad and he struck her.

"Can't have any evidence under those fingernails," he said as he pushed her.

She screamed as she fell from the cliff.

"What do we do about David?" asked Brad.

"Who's going to believe him? As soon as they find Sara's body then they'll lynch him," she said. "We've got a few last touches."

She flipped open Sara's phone and dialed Grissom.

She whispered one word and then closed it sending it over the cliff as well.

"There we're almost done," she said.

"You think she's dead?" he asked looking over the cliff.

"Want to go down and look?" she asked.

"Not enough time," he said.

"By the time they get out here, she'll succumb to the cold and the injuries," she said.

"Need to get back to the cabin and deposit that semen sample onto the bed," he said.

"It just makes it a little more convincing when David's semen is found," she said.

"Let's go," he said grabbing her to him.

Note from author:

I am home...Thanks for those who are loyal and leave a review for each chapter. It means alot. Let's continue.

Take care,

Penny


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty Four:**

**Present:**

"Grissom!" yelled Nick.

Grissom turned to see Nick standing there with David.

His hands curled into a fist.

"Where is she?" Nick yelled.

"I left her about a half mile from here," he said. "I hid her so…"

"What did you do to her?" Grissom yelled as he grabbed David.

Nick pushed Grissom back.

"Sara…" said David as he fell to her knees.

"This cut on his head looks pretty bad," said Nick.

Grissom grabbed him again. "Show us! Show us where Sara is!"

He stumbled to his feet.

"She couldn't breathe…cracked ribs…" he mumbled.

Grissom reached for him again but Nick stepped between them.

"Griss!"

He stopped.

"Wooded area…I hid her there," he said as he passed out.

Nick called for the officers to come and get David.

As soon as he saw them approaching he ran, catching up with Grissom.

Grissom felt his chest tighten.

_He's killed her…_

_He hid her body…_

They began searching and found the wooded area.

"Someone was lying here…you can see the impressions in the grass," said Nick.

"Where is she?" cried Grissom.

"Maybe she got away," said Nick.

They saw foot prints and followed them.

It led them to a cliff.

"Oh God," said Grissom.

"Sara!" yelled Nick.

Grissom frantically leaned over the edge and looked down.

His stomach lurched when he saw one of her shoes dangling from a branch.

"Sara!" He frantically searched the area and attempted to find another way down.

He remembered the slope was not as steep further down.

"Do you see her?" asked Nick.

"Her shoe…over the edge…I've got to get down there…go back and get the others," said Grissom.

Nick nodded and ran off.

It took him almost forty minutes to find another way down the cliff.

His eyes scoured the ravine in hopes of finding her.

He held his breath when he saw her lifeless body lying on the ground.

He grabbed her wrist and was thankful for the pulse.

He gingerly rolled her over.

"Sara?"

She made no movement.

He checked her body for injuries.

_Nasty gash on her forehead…_

_Broken ribs…_

_Bruises on her wrists…_

_Cuts and bruises over her entire body…_

He swallowed hard.

_Bruises on her wrists were made by Hollister…_

He couldn't bring himself to look further.

"Sara?"

She moaned.

It was the most wonderful sound he had ever heard.

"Sara, you need to wake up," he said.

"Griss?" she whispered.

"I'm here," he said quickly.

"David…"

"We've got him," he said.

She tried to speak but coughed.

"Sara…"

"Ccccan't bbbbreathe," she said.

"You may have some internal injuries," he said. "Nick is going back for the others."

He quickly used his walkie talkie.

"Nick, I've got her. She's alive. We need a medivac down here as soon as possible," said Grissom.

"We're on our way," Nick said.

He turned his attention back to Sara.

"I need to assess your injuries," he said softly.

She tried to nod.

She coughed causing her to wince from the pain.

She cried out when he touched her ribs.

He could feel several broken on both sides.

"Can you breathe in?" he asked.

She tried but it led to several moments of coughing and once more she cried out in pain.

"Sorry, honey," he whispered. "I have to know."

She hovered between consciousness and he gently shook her.

"You have to stay awake," he said.

She kept her eyes focused on him.

"You've got a nasty gash on your forehead," he said.

She tried to reach up, but he stopped her.

"It's stopped bleeding. Let's not aggravate it," he said. "You've got several cracked ribs."

She shivered.

He quickly removed his jacket and placed it over her as he gently held her.

He took her hands into his.

"Let me warm you," he said but then stopped suddenly.

Her left hand was bloodied.

He gently rubbed them.

"Rrrrings," she managed to get out.

Grissom's jaw clenched.

He pulled the rings out of his pocket.

He held them up for her to see.

"I found them," he said.

Her hand shook as she reached for them.

"Sara…they're evidence."

She nodded slowly.

"So sorry, honey," he said. "This is my fault. I never should have let you…"

She gasped for air as she struggled to roll over.

He held her as she vomited.

His eyes were wide in horror.

"Sara, does your abdomen hurt?"

She nodded slowly.

Her eyes closed, and he quickly shook her.

"Don't go back to sleep! Stay with me," he yelled.

She jerked herself awake.

"That's good," he said.

She shivered again.

"Ccccold," she said.

Fear set in.

He was relieved when he heard the others running.

Suddenly there was a blanket tossed over her.

"How is she?" asked Brass quickly.

"She took quite a fall," said Grissom looking up towards the cliff. "She's got multiple cracked ribs, deep gash on her forehead… cuts on her arms and legs…" he stopped when she moaned.

He caressed her cheek. "Not much longer, Sara."

He tried to sound not so worried.

"We need a medivac now."

"It's an hour away," said Brass.

"She's bleeding internally," he said quietly. "She vomited blood."

"Could be a punctured lung," said Brass.

Grissom felt her grab his arm.

"I'm here," he said softly as he caressed her cheek.

"Just lie still," he said as he worriedly looked at Brass.

"Where the hell is that medivac?" Brass yelled at the others.

"They're not going to be able to land here," said Grissom.

"We'll have to move her to the meadow," said Brass.

"That's a mile away!" said Grissom. "She shouldn't be moved at all with internal injuries."

"We don't have a choice," said Brass.

Grissom held her closer when she shivered.

Her hand went limp in his and he panicked.

"Sara!"

She could not respond.

She could hear his voice, but it seemed distant.

The voices were muffled.

She struggled to resurface but felt a heavy weight dragging her further into unconsciousness.

Grissom grabbed her wrist.

"She has a pulse," he said.

She gasped for air which was followed by another bout of coughing.

Both of them became alarmed when they noticed that with each cough, blood spewed from her mouth.

She felt herself being lifted as they hurried to the clearing.

She faded in and out as he held her hand.

He watched helplessly as the medivac crew worked to stabilize her.

He sat there in the helicopter and refused to let go of her hand.

He had very little information to give them.

He felt helpless.

He argued with the doctors when they told him he could not follow.

He didn't want to leave her.

He did not want to release her hand.

He paced nervously.

He looked up to find Catherine standing there.

She took his hand.

"How you holding up?" she asked.

"No one will tell me anything about her...she has internal injuries," he said.

"Griss, we need to talk," she said.

He knew it wasn't good.

"Griss, we need to know if David…"

His eyes fell to the floor.

"We'll need to do an SA kit," Catherine said.

He swore.

He did not want to put her through it especially if it was not necessary.

"Nick found semen in…"

His mind shut down for a moment.

He did not want to hear it again.

He was there.

He had gotten the information directly from Nick.

Grissom turned away to stare at the hospital door.

"Gil, you'll have to let Catherine do this," said Brass.

He took a deep breath.

"She called me…she said one word…David," he said.

Catherine stared at him.

"When she's out of surgery and out of recovery," he said in a ragged breath.

Catherine nodded.

An hour passed.

Brass came and sat down beside him.

"David is here in the hospital," said Brass.

Grissom's head jerked around.

"He had a fractured skull. He's in a coma. He's in no condition to hurt anyone," said Brass.

"Did he uhm say anything?" asked Grissom.

"He was conscious briefly. He kept calling for Sara," said Brass.

Grissom leaned back and closed his eyes.

"Mr. Grissom?"

He jumped up and came face to face with a surgeon.

"Your wife is in recovering. Our primary concern was the internal bleeding. We've got that under control. Her right lung was punctured and collapsed. Pneumonia has set in…we've placed her

on a ventilator to help her breathe. We're not sure how long she's going to be unconscious. She has a severe concussion."

He nodded slowly.

"Mr. Grissom…I'll be frank with you. It's not good. It's a miracle she survived the fall. We'll keep her in recovery and then send her to ICU."

Grissom sat down hard.

He wasn't sure what to do.

He decided to pray.

Note from author:

Take a deep breath. I gave everyone an angst warning...I know it was quite a twist... but I couldn't resist...

Leave a review. I have loved reading them!

Take care,

Penny


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter Twenty Five:**

He couldn't sit.

He couldn't just stand.

He walked the halls over and over as he waited for permission to see her.

He needed to see her.

He needed to hold her hand.

He was relieved when he was finally sitting there beside her.

His eyes roamed over her body.

He memorized every bruise and cut.

His fingers traced her cheek.

He stared at the ventilator.

The door opened and his stomach knotted.

Catherine stood there with her kit.

Catherine worked quickly.

Catherine's eyes met his every now and then.

She collected the samples and then pulled out the camera.

His eyes locked with hers.

His gut clenched.

_There must be physical evidence…_

"Bruises…it could have been from the fall," she whispered. "I have to be sure."

The first flash was followed by a second flash.

He breathed in deeply.

He looked at her battered body lying there in the bed.

He gulped another breath.

He watched as the machine breathed for her.

"I'm done," Catherine announced.

It did little to help.

"Hollister…"

"He's being charged with violating the restraining order…we'll have to wait on the evidence to see if we can charge him with anything else," said Catherine.

Grissom nodded.

"Gil?"

He looked at Catherine.

"His attorney has already posted bail," she said.

"I don't want him near her!" yelled Grissom.

"He's in critical condition. They're not sure if he's going to make it. He's in a coma."

_Good…_

_The bastard should die…_

"Why don't you go home and get some rest? I can stay with her," offered Catherine.

"I'm not leaving her," he said.

Dr. King stepped into the room.

"Mr. Grissom?"

"Yes," he said barely above a whisper.

"Mr. Grissom, the pneumonia is worse."

He knew.

He could hear her struggling to live.

_Don't leave me Sara…_

_Don't leave me alone…_

"I'm sorry," said the physician.

"Dr. King…we found a bottle of prenatal vitamins…is she pregnant?"

"The test came back negative. Was she trying to get pregnant?"

"We were trying."

"I'll check in on her in a few hours," he said as he walked away.

Catherine's hands held his tight.

"So sorry honey," she whispered.

Hours ticked away and yet he remained by her side.

Catherine had left hours ago to return to the lab but she was already back.

He still sat in the same seat as if he had not moved from the spot.

"You should take a break. Get something to eat," Catherine said.

"I want to be here in case she wakes," he said.

"Gil the SA kit was negative. She wasn't raped," she said.

He sighed out loud.

"Anything else?"

"Hollister's car was parked about a half mile from the cabin. I'm guessing he hiked in and waited for Sara. It explains how he got there without his vehicle. He intended to hide and then…

something foiled his plan. Sara may have fought and gotten away. The semen found in the bed belongs to Hollister. He chased her to the cliff and she fell or he pushed her. We won't know

until we can question Sara."

Grissom stared at Sara.

"Gil, David Hollister's family has been called in. He's not expected to live," she said.

There was no reaction.

He wanted him dead.

He wanted to kill him with his own bare hands.

"How you holding up?" she asked.

"I uhm keep hoping she'll wake up," he said.

"Jenny and Brad are here," said Catherine.

He stepped outside the room.

"Mr. Grissom, I'm so sorry," said Jenny. "How is she?"

"She's in critical condition," he said.

Brad held his wife.

"If it's any consolation David probably won't make it," said Brad.

"It's not," said Grissom.

"Could we see her?" asked Jenny.

"No one is permitted inside…except family."

"I just wanted to hold her hand," Jenny said between bouts of tears.

"I'm sorry," Grissom said as he stepped back inside.

He knew it was heartless but he didn't care.

He did not want to share her with anyone especially anyone connected to David Hollister.

He sat back down in the chair and took her hand.

"Come on honey. Please Sara wake up," he begged. "I need to hear your voice."

He placed her hand on his cheek as he sat there and let the tears fall.

Her labored breathing continued.

His heart shuddered the moment the machines sounded.

A nurse came rushing in.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Brad and Jenny stood off to the side as they watched a flurry of nurses rush inside followed by a physician.

Brad grabbed Jenny's hand and led her to the elevator.

The elevator door closed as Catherine watched through the small window in the door.

"I think we just got rid of the bitch," said Jenny. "Just one more loose end...my dear brother."

She woke.

The machines continued to go off as she struggled.

"The machine has malfunctioned," said the nurse.

"She's awake," said Grissom quickly.

Sara felt something odd in her throat as she tried to speak.

She heard his voice and she turned.

He was there.

"Hey," he said softly.

She tried to move her hand toward the tube but he stopped her.

"Sara, you need to listen carefully. Can you do that? If you can understand me, squeeze my hand."

He felt a slight squeeze and he smiled.

"You're on a ventilator so your lungs could heal. Do you understand?"

She nodded.

"Good."

She felt frightened but she wasn't sure why.

She wanted to be in his arms but the wires restricted her movement.

The agitation grew.

"Sara…"

He grabbed her hands and held them.

"Can you remove the tube?" asked Grissom to the doctor.

"I think we can do that," said the physician.

"Sara, we want you…"

She was not listening.

She kept her eyes locked on his.

She struggled through the pain.

It was intense.

Every inch of her body ached.

She sputtered when the tube was removed.

She coughed again and again causing her to cry out in pain.

"We can give her something for the pain," said the nurse.

She shook her head.

She did not want to sleep again.

She wanted to be with Grissom.

"Sara, I'm Dr. King. I need you to answer a few questions," he said.

She nodded.

"What is your name?"

"Sara…Grissom."

"Do you know the person holding your hand?"

"Grissom…Gil."

"Good. Can you tell us what year it is?"

She stared at him.

"Sara?"

"2008."

"Good."

"Do know where you are?"

"Hospital."

"Good."

"Do you know what happened?"

She didn't.

She didn't remember.

"That's enough questions for now," said the physician.

Her eyes grew heavy.

She didn't want to sleep.

She struggled to stay awake.

"Just rest," said Grissom. "I'll be right here. I'm not leaving."

He leaned back in the chair and slept.

Hours passed.

Nurses came and went.

Shifts changed.

He remained by her side.

He slept as the others came and went.

Brass nudged him once and tried to persuade him to leave.

He refused.

He was awake when Dr. King returned for another round.

"Let's see how she is doing," he said as he listened to her lungs. "Her lungs sound better."

"How is the pneumonia?" asked Grissom.

"The pnuemonia seems better," he said.

She felt the stethoscope.

She opened her eyes and sought out Grissom.

He squeezed her hand.

Her voice was raspy but it felt good to speak again.

"Gil?"

"I'm here," he said.

"I'll check back in a few more hours," said the physician.

Grissom nodded.

He held her hand to his lips. "How do you feel?" he asked.

"Chest hurts," she said.

"It's the pneumonia. It's getting better."

She nodded.

"You should leave," she said. "You look tired."

"I'm not going anywhere," he said.

He kissed the palm of her hand.

She closed her eyes for a moment.

"Have you remembered anything?" he asked softly.

She shook her head.

She tried to sit up but stopped when she felt the pain.

"Gently," he said. "You have several broken ribs. The concussion is better."

"I don't remember much," she said.

"It's too soon," he said.

She closed her eyes as if in pain.

"Sara?"

"Head hurts," she said.

"Just rest," he said.

"I want to go home," she said.

"Soon."

She closed her eyes.

She slept again.

Note from author:

I thought I had better release this chapter tonight or face being linched! Now that everyone knows Sara is going to be fine...no baby...so no miscarriage...have a good night. I am rushing to proof read the rest of this and let you know how many chapters there are. I am still finishing up the ending...

Take care,

Penny


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter twenty Six:**

Nurses came and went.

Dr. King arrived.

"How is she?" he asked.

"She's been sleeping quite a bit," said Grissom.

"That's good," he said. "She made a lot of progress this week. The latest scan was good. Her lungs sound better. I think we can discharge her in a couple of days."

"Are you sure?" he asked. "She still has the pneumonia."

"Mr. Grissom, your wife is going to be fine. I think the best thing for her now is to go home. She's been asking every day."

He nodded with a smile.

She was home in days.

He watched as she tumbled into bed.

Her memory had not improved.

Jenny and Brad had been insistent on talking with her.

He refused to let them citing the pneumonia and her inability to remember.

"Want something for the pain?" he asked.

"I'm tired of the drugs," she said. "No more."

"The guys want to see you," said Grissom.

"Maybe tomorrow" she said as she leaned back.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Could you hold me?" she asked.

He sat there in the bed and held her tight.

"What's wrong?"

"I can't remember and yet I feel like I'm supposed to know something…something I need to do…it's frustrating," she said.

"Jenny and Brad have been asking to see you," he said.

"I don't want to see them," she said quickly.

"Why?"

"I don't know… I just don't," she said.

"Sara, I need to tell you something…it's about David," he said.

She looked at him.

"David is in a coma. He has severe head injuries," said Grissom.

"Head injuries?"

"We found him at the cabin…he'd been struck on the head…he told us he left your body in a wooded area…I was so scared Sara. I thought he had killed you."

"I uhm…I hit him?" she asked.

"We don't know what happened," said Grissom.

She leaned back and closed her eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"My head…hurts," she said.

"You took quite a fall…it's a miracle there were no other broken bones…lie back and try to sleep," he said.

"The tree limbs…broke my fall. I kept grabbing for them...they kept breaking...I passed out when I hit the ground...I thought I was dead."

She scooted down into the bed.

"Explains the severe bruising in your arms...there's hardly a place that doesn't have a scratches or cuts." He kissed the palm of her hand.

"Just try to rest," he said.

There was a tap at the door and he quickly shut the bedroom door.

"How is she?" asked Brass.

"I'm not sure," said Grissom. "She's frustrated that she can't remember."

"I wanted to talk with you about that," he said as he sat down.

Grissom handed him a cup of coffee.

"Have you considered a hypnotist?" asked Brass.

"I'm not sure we should push her…it's too soon," said Grissom.

"It might help," he said.

"I don't want her to live through that again," said Grissom.

"Gil, she wants to remember. You need to help her," he said.

"No."

"She asked me…to talk with you," said Brass.

Grissom glanced at the bedroom door.

"She doesn't want to hurt you but she needs to know what happened," said Brass.

"I just want her to put this behind her," he said holding the cup tightly.

"She can't as long as she doesn't remember what happened," said Brass.

"You don't know how much he hurt her," said Grissom quietly.

"She knows. She needs to remember what happened at the cabin…you have to help her," said Brass.

"What do you suggest?" asked Grissom.

"Take her back to the cabin," said Brass.

"No!"

"She'll be there with us and the hypnotist," said Brass.

"No."

"Gil, please," she said.

He whirled around and saw her standing there.

"You still have the pneumonia," said Grissom.

"It's better," she said.

He stared at her.

Her hand stroked the side of his cheek.

"Please," she whispered.

His hand rested on hers for a second before kissing the palm.

"We'll try it here," he said quietly.

"Promise?" she asked.

"I promise," he said.

She curled up next to him on the couch.

"I think I'll leave you two alone," said Brass as he stood to leave. "I'll bring Doc over in a few hours."

"Doc?" asked Grissom.

"He's qualified…"

He trusted Doc.

"Good," said Grissom quickly.

He held her in his arms as she slept on the couch.

He told himself he could handle whatever she remembered but he wasn't sure.

_It was my fault last time…_

_It's my fault this time…_

_I let her go up there alone…_

_I never should have let her out of my sight…_

There was a knock on the door and he gently slipped out from under her.

"She's asleep," said Grissom as he let Jim and Doc inside.

"Sleep is good for her," said Doc. "The more rest she gets the quicker she'll recover from the pneumonia."

"You sure she's ready for this?" asked Grissom to Doc.

"Gil if she's asking...she's ready...the sooner she remembers the better she'll feel," he said.

Grissom gently nudged her and she woke with a start.

"I'm Sorry," he said. "Doc is here."

She tried to sit up.

She looked weak and fragile.

She smiled at Jim and Doc.

"Hey," she said softly.

"You ready for this?" asked Doc.

She wasn't sure if she was or not but she needed answers.

She was too afraid to sleep unless Grissom was by her side.

She knew he would need to return to work soon.

"Ready," she said.

Doc sat down across from her.

"Let's get comfortable," he said. "I want you to close your eyes and listen to my voice."

His voice was soothing.

She felt her shoulders relax.

"Sara, I want you to count back from ten," he said. "I want you to think as your counting about going to the cabin."

"Ten, nine…"

She began slowly.

"Tell me where you are," he said softly.

"I'm standing in the kitchen. The kettle is ready for tea…"

She stopped.

"Sara…where are you?" Doc asked.

"I'm…waiting for Grissom," she said. "He said he might come…to San Francisco."

Doc looked at Grissom.

"She's regressed too far," whispered Grissom.

"Sara…"

"I'm in bed…I hear the key in the door…it must be Grissom…no one else has the key except Jenny."

"Make her stop," whispered Grissom.

"Sara…"

"It's not Grissom…it's David. Something is wrong."

"Doc make her stop. She doesn't need to go through the rape again," demanded Grissom.

"There's something she needs to resolve…Sara…"

"He's crying. He's upset…I've told him I love Grissom…he's angry. He won't let me up. He says it's not true…he says I love him…he didn't mean to take back the proposal…his father made

him. David, stop…don't…"

"Make her stop!" said Grissom.

"What's wrong with you? You're not yourself," she said.

"What's happening?" asked Doc.

"David…he's…I don't feel well…the tea… something in the tea…I can't reach the bottled water on the bedside table. I don't feel well."

Her breathing increased as if she was witnessing a terrifying scene.

"Sara…where's David?" asked Doc.

"He…uhm…"

She screamed.

Grissom reached for her as he stroked her hair.

"Stop this!" said Grissom.

"Gil, is that the way it happened?"

"No."

"Sara, what's happening?"

"No! Bring her out of it now," said Grissom.

"Gil, she needs to remember…it's connected to the cabin…you've got to let her remember…Sara, what's happening?"

"I can't move…drugged…can't move," she said.

"Do it now!" yelled Grissom.

"Sara, listen to my voice," said Doc. "I'm going to count to ten…when I finish you're going to wake up."

"One, two, three…"

She gasped for air.

"Four, five, six…"

She scrambled from Grissom's touch.

"Hurry!" yelled Grissom.

"Seven…"

Her lungs burned as she tried to catch her breath.

Her breaths were ragged and already she was in distress.

"Sara, breathe in deeply…eight…Sara"

She gasped again.

"Nine and ten. Sara wake up."

She didn't.

She struggled to get off the couch hurting her ribs as she cried out in pain.

"Sara!" yelled Doc.

Her eyes flew open.

Doc immediately reached over and checked her pulse.

"She's got to calm down," he said.

"Sara, you're fine. Just breathe in slowly," said Grissom.

"Nooooo mmmmore," she managed to get out.

"We're done," said Grissom to Doc and Brass. "I'm not putting her through this again!"

"Ssssorrrry," she said.

"Just breathe in slowly...that's it," said Doc. "You did good Sara. Just breathe."

Doc glanced at Brass.

"We'll let you two get some rest," said Brass. "You okay kiddo?"

She nodded slowly.

"I'll call you later," said Brass to Grissom.

He waited until the men were gone before he spoke.

"You want to talk about…"

"I was drugged…I didn't remember…he uhm put something in the tea," she said.

"You okay?" he asked.

She nodded. "Just…too vivid."

"I'm sorry."

Both were quiet for a moment.

"Sara, you're pushing yourself too much," he said.

"I need to remember," she said.

"Give your body time to heal," he said.

She nodded.

He held her tight as she slept.

His mind was tired as well as his body.

_Bastard is in a coma…_

_Not likely to recover…_

_Wish he was dead…_

note from author:

Don't worry. She'll remember soon. Leave a review! I finished the story last night! I am excited! Now, I just have to proofread it and break it into chapters. I should have a total of chapters for you soon.

Take care,

Penny


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter Twenty Seven:**

She was awake when he finally opened his eyes.

"Hey," he said softly.

"I want to go back to the cabin," she said.

"No!"

"Gil, please," she said.

"No! It's too soon," he said.

He sat on the edge of the bed.

"I'm going," she said with arms folded.

"Sara…"

"I'll ask Jim to take me," she said.

"Don't do this. Wait…a few weeks," he said.

"David is in a coma…I hit him…he's going to die," she said.

"If you hit him, you were defending yourself. That bastard doesn't deserve to live!"

She felt his anger.

"I'm sorry," she said.

He looked puzzled.

"For what?" he asked.

"For dragging you into this," she said.

He pulled her to him. "I love you, Sara…don't ever forget that."

"I have to know…I have to know what happened," she said.

He knew she was determined.

"I'll take you," he said.

They were surprised when Grissom and Sara walked into the lab.

The guys ushered Sara into the break room as Grissom headed toward his office with Catherine in tow.

"I've talked with Ecklie and he's okayed your leave," said Catherine.

"Good," said Grissom.

"What are you doing here?" Catherine asked.

"Getting a copy of the report…Sara wants to read it."

"Are you sure this is good for her Gil? I mean she's been through hell and back," said Catherine.

"She needs to know what happened. I think it would be good for her to get away…even if it is back to the cabin," he said.

"Hollister is still critical. Jenny has been checking in with the hospital every day."

Catherine shut his office door.

"Listen, did you know that David Hollister is worth ten million dollars?"

Grissom's head shot up. "Sara mentioned his family was wealthy."

"They're filthy rich…I should say David is filthy rich. His sister, Jenny, was cut out of the will. If David dies, she gets control of the money."

Grissom stared at Catherine.

"Watch your back out there," she said as she shut the door.

They were on the road within an hour.

She was perplexed when he turned in the opposite direction.

"You said we were leaving today," she said.

"We are. I have something I need to pick up."

She sat there in the car and watched as he stepped into the building but soon returned.

She stared at the dog.

"His name is Bruno."

"He's big."

"He's a sweetheart. His owner had to give him up and he needs a new home."

She stared at him.

"Us?"

"You don't like dogs?"

"I didn't say that. I just never saw you as the dog loving kind…a few roaches…tarantula…"

"I've always wanted a dog," he said petting Bruno.

"Me too."

"Good then it's settled. He's ours."

She smiled.

Grissom frowned as Bruno insisted on sitting in the middle of the back seat with his head between them. Any attempt at holding Sara's hand was thwarted with a huge sloppy wet tongue.

She giggled when Grissom was licked in the face.

"Bruno no!" he said.

The dog whined.

"I think you hurt his feelings," pouted Sara.

"I don't like sloppy wet kisses," he said.

"I'll keep that in mind," she said.

"From you yes…from him no."

She laughed.

It was good to hear her laugh again.

She rubbed the dog's fur as she closed her eyes.

Bruno stared at her while she slept.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" he whispered to the dog.

Bruno looked at him.

"It's your job to keep her out of trouble and keep her safe."

The dog returned the comment with a long stroke of his tongue against Grissom's beard.

He grimaced.

"We're going to have to work on that," he said.

They arrived at the cabin by late evening.

She woke as soon as they turned off the main highway and onto the dirt road.

He glanced as her reaction when they parked in front of the cabin.

"We don't have to stay here," he said. "We could stay in town."

"No…I want to," she said as she got out of the vehicle.

She grabbed the leash and led Bruno inside the cabin.

It had been cleaned.

"I hired someone to clean it after…there was print dust everywhere," he said.

She nodded.

"I'll take Bruno for a walk," she said.

He watched as she quickly stepped outside.

_This is a mistake…_

_I never should have agreed to this…_

"I'm coming with you," he said quickly.

They were back within minutes.

"Sit by the fire and I'll fix dinner," he said.

"I'm not very hungry," she said.

Bruno wagged his tail.

Sara looked at him.

"I hope you brought dog food."

"As a matter of fact, I did," he said.

She sat down in front of the fireplace while he fed the dog.

"How about sandwiches?" he asked.

"That would be good," she said quietly.

Dinner was finished within an hour.

She seemed restless as she paced.

Bruno followed her with every step.

"I think he likes you," said Grissom.

She petted his head.

"Sara, what's wrong?" he asked.

"I thought I would remember as soon as I stepped foot in here but I don't."

"Let's just enjoy this time together," he said.

He pulled her down beside him.

"Where uhm did you find me?" she asked.

He didn't want to go back there.

"We'll go tomorrow," he said.

"Bruno needs a walk…we could do it together," she said.

He was reluctant to take the path but she was already heading in that direction.

She had read through the report several times on the drive up and knew the general location already.

He took her hand and led her to the wooded area.

"David said he put you here….we found impressions in the grass as if someone had been lying there."

Sara stared at the location.

_David felt her forehead._

"_You're burning up," he said._

"_Hard to breathe," she said._

_He pulled off his jacket and wrapped it around her._

"_Just lie still," he said._

"_Need to get…ttto road," she said._

The memory did not make any sense.

She remembered how David had gently wrapped his jacket around her.

She had not been afraid of him.

He was helping her.

She was letting him help her.

She was letting him touch her.

She did not feel repulsed by his touch.

The memories were confusing.

"Sara?"

"Where did I fall?" she asked.

He took her hand and led her to the cliff.

"I saw your shoe…I climbed down and found you," he said.

She stared at the edge.

"Anything?" he asked.

She shook her head.

She turned back toward the wooded area.

Another memory came.

She remembered the pain in her chest and the coldness.

It was hard to breathe.

"A punctured lung," she said out loud. "I had a punctured lung."

"Yes, you did," said Grissom. "From the fall."

"No, I remember lying there in the wooded area. I couldn't breathe….a punctured lung," she said once more.

"Do you remember what happened?" he asked.

"Kicked…I was kicked."

Grissom's hand curled into a fist.

Sara continued to stare.

"_I'll sstay hhhid," she said._

"_No," David said. "I'm not leaving you."_

"_Pppplease," she said._

_He wrapped his jacket tighter around her._

"_Stay hidden. I'll be back as soon as I can," he said._

_She grabbed his hand before he left._

"_Sssorrry," she said._

"_Not your fault," David said kissing her lightly on the forehead. He pretended he did not see her cringe._

"_I'll win your trust again," he said. _

_David was gone._

"Do you remember anything else?" he asked.

It didn't make sense.

"I was there …with him," she said.

"With David?"

She nodded. "He uhm was holding me."

Grissom stared at her in disbelief.

Note from author:

She's remembering...leave a review.

Take care,

Penny


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter Twenty Eight:**

"I was cold. I couldn't breathe very well. He wrapped his jacket around me."

She turned and looked at Grissom.

"He was helping me. He left me to get help. He was going to find the road."

"Sara…"

"It doesn't make sense," she said as she shivered.

"It's getting cool," he said. "Let's get back to the cabin."

She stood in front of the fire place as he sat there in the chair and watched her.

She coughed every now and then.

"Taken your medicine?" he asked.

She nodded.

"How about some tea?" he offered.

She quickly shook her head.

"Hot cocoa?" he offered.

She smiled.

He set the kettle on and stood at the counter.

She faced the fire with Bruno by her side.

Her fingers ran through his fur as she seemed immersed in thought.

The kettle whistle blew and she jumped.

Her eyes were wide.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Noise…in the bedroom," she said stepping back.

"Noise?" he asked. "I didn't hear anything."

"Noise…thhhat night," she said.

"What was it?" he asked.

_His hands pinned hers down and she tried to break free but couldn't._

"_Sara, I love you. Just relax. Let me…"_

"_Stop!"_

_His eyes grew cold._

"_You've already been with him haven't you?" he sneered._

"_David, please. Let me go," she cried._

"_You slut! He comes to town and within a week you have him between your legs. We've been dating for almost a year and you've never let me touch you!"_

"_That's not true. I never…please don't…" she sobbed._

"_Did you have sex with him?" he yelled._

"_No!"_

"_You thought it was him crawling into bed with you. Didn't you?" he yelled._

_His hands lifted her by the wrists and shoved her into the bed. His fingernails bit into her skin. _

"_Didn't you!"_

"_Yes!"_

_His mouth came down on hers and she tried to pull away but he was too strong. _

"_Stop!"_

_David's head shot up._

_Her voice sounded muffled._

_He looked in horror at what he had done._

"_I'm sorry…I'll stop," he said as he rolled off her._

"_Get out!" she said._

"_Sara…I'm sorry I don't know what came over me… this is not like me…" he tried to reach for her but passed out._

_She sat there and tried to move but felt dizzy. _

_She felt her body give way to the effects of the drug in her system._

_Jenny swore._

"_Stupid ass brother had to pass out before he did the deed," she whispered._

"_Look, the drug isn't going to last long. What do you want to do?" asked Brad._

"_Screw her!" demanded Jenny._

_He looked at her in disbelief._

"_Listen to me! Screw her so we can blame it on my darling brother," she said pushing him toward the bed._

"_I wasn't prepared to fuck anyone!" he sneered. "No condoms!"_

"_Just do it! We'll swipe the rape kit from the hospital if we have to," she said._

_He grabbed Jenny and kissed her. "Just for you."_

_He unzipped his pants and straddled Sara._

_Her knee came up but his thigh pushed her back down. She felt him enter her and she cried out in pain. She tried to pull back but he thrust deeper causing her to scream out. The pain was intense and it burned. _

_He stopped immediately._

"_Sara?"_

_She sobbed uncontrollably._

"_Didn't think you were still a virgin. Hold still," he said as he laughed. _

_She did._

_She thought he was going to stop but then his assault became more brutal. She tried to shove him off but he shoved her back into the bed and then grabbed her thigh. She felt his fingernails dig into _

_her skin. She struggled once more but he shoved himself deeper into her. With each struggle he pumped harder and harder. She screamed Grissom's name and felt a blow to her midsection. The _

_beating continued with each utterance. She swallowed the next scream as he continued until he was finished. She felt numb as he rolled off her. He patted her on the behind and she kicked at him. _

_He kicked her in the rib "Your body is mine to take when I want," he sneered. "Want some more?"_

_He flipped her over and entered from behind. His thrusts were hard and forceful. _

"_I didn't say screw her brains out," sneered Jenny._

"_It's not often I get treated to a virgin," he said._

"_She was a virgin?" asked Jenny._

"_She's good," he said as he exploded inside her again._

_She slapped him._

"_Get lover boy back in the bed," said Jenny. "Do it quick."_

_Sara felt the stick of the needle and she felt sickened._

"_Too much!" whispered Jenny. "Shit! She could go into convulsions."_

_Sara's breathing became shallow._

_There was a sound like muffled voices._

_She wasn't sure._

_The stereo still played in the other room._

"_Let's get the hell out of here," said Brad._

_Hours passed._

_David's head rested beside hers. _

_He slowly came out of the drug induced slumber._

_He kissed her gently. _

_His eyes met hers._

_His eyes were wet._

_He had been crying._

_She felt odd as if something had broken inside her._

_There was little pain._

_David tried to focus._

_He glanced at the clock and hours had passed._

_He remembered very little._

_She felt him looking at her body, and she shut her eyes tight to hide her soul from him._

_He released a wrist as his hand wiped her cheeks._

"_I couldn't give you up. I don't give a damn what my father thinks. You're mine. Not Grissom's. Mine."_

_An anger rose inside her._

_She struck at him with her loose hand._

"_I said stop," she cried. "I said stop!"_

"_Sara?"_

"_Get off me!"_

"_I'm sorry I was a little rough. I'm not used to virgins."_

"_You raped me!"_

_He looked shocked._

"_Get off me!"_

_She slapped him as she struggled to get out of bed._

_She screamed when he tried to take her into his arms. _

"_I'm your first," he said. "Don't ever forget that."_

"Sara?"

She shook her head as she stared at Grissom.

"What did you remember?" he asked as he stood there now in front of her.

"David didn't…I was drugged…he was too," she said between gulps for air.

"Are you talking about that night in San Francisco?" he asked.

She nodded quickly as she covered her mouth.

"Sit down," he said.

The wind whistled outside the cabin causing a tree branch to scratch against the side of the cabin and she jumped.

"It's just the wind," he said.

She stared at the bedroom door.

"Sara, no one is there," he said.

He walked to the door and opened it.

She followed along with the dog.

He stepped aside and let her see.

She stared at the room.

Memories of that night flooded her brain and her eyes widened in horror.

"David didn't rape me…Brad did," she said.

Grissom looked at her in utter shock.

She told him about her memories of what actually happened that night in San Francisco.

Her face was wet from the tears.

"Jenny was after the inheritance. She thought their father would disinherit David like he did with her for having a relationship with Brad. He didn't. He protected David. He didn't believe

David had raped me…he didn't. He made David his sole heir. The company would remain with David unless he…"

"He died or was arrested…then it would go to Jenny."

"Yes."

"They did this for money," she whispered.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"I heard a noise… when I opened the door… someone hit me. I remembered seeing David on the floor. He was unconscious. They thought I was too but I heard their plan.

Jenny left to move the cars. Brad was supposed to...I tried to fight him off… David came to and knocked him out. We ran…he was trying to protect me."

She cried uncontrollably.

Grissom held her tight. "It's over," he said.

"Not over," she gasped for air. "Brad and Jenny…David didn't…" she continued to cry.

Thoughts of that night kept running through her head.

_I thought it was David…_

_I thought he…_

_He tried to help me…_

_He kept Brad from doing it again…_

He stroked her hair over and over.

"Sssshhh. Calm down…It's over," soothed Grissom. "No one can hurt you again."

She clung to him as she cried.

"I've got you," said Grissom.

She pulled away.

"I need to get the facts straight," she said. "The report needs to be revised."

She was suddenly in work mode.

"Sara…"

"David didn't do it…despite the drugs they put in his system…he didn't do it. He needs to be cleared of this."

Grissom nodded.

She slowly talked through the events at the cabin.

He sat there quietly and listened.

He listened to every word.

"We've got to get back to Vegas," he said.

They stepped out into the cool air.

Sara started to get into the car when he stopped her.

"Tires have been slashed," he said looking around.

"Sara, when I say go run down the back trail," he said. "I'll be right behind you."

She nodded taking the dog's leash firmly in her hand.

"Go," he whispered.

They ran as they heard the sound of gun fire.

They did not stop until they were about a mile from the cabin.

"You think they're following us?" she whispered in gasps.

"As long as we stay off the trail, they won't be able to follow us," he whispered.

He looked at her.

She was tired and her breathing was irregular.

"We've got to find a place to rest," he said.

"No! We need to make it to the main highway," she said.

"Not in this weather. It's going to rain soon," he said.

He grabbed her hand and they continued walking.

Bruno stopped and looked through the woods.

Grissom pulled Sara to a stop.

They could hear voices.

"Where the hell did they go?" asked Jenny.

"Maybe we should get the hell out of here!" said Brad.

"If she remembers then we're dead!" said Jenny.

"We don't know if she has…look, let's get rid of David and then we can get our hands on the money," he said.

"It's not that easy!" she said.

"I'm not going to prison just because some twit remembered I banged her."

"That's exactly where we're going if she remembers," said Jenny. "You better add attempted murder."

"Bitch has nine lives…she should have OD from the drugs all those years ago," said Brad.

"Let's head back toward the cabin. Maybe they're trying to circle back around."

Grissom silently caressed Sara's hand as they stood there quietly.

He prayed Bruno would not bark.

It would give them away.

Sara stroked his head and Bruno looked up at her.

They were relieved when they heard them moving away.

They continued in the opposite direction.

They did not stop until they had gotten some distance from them.

She stifled the cough again.

"There's a place over here…we can sit for awhile," he said.

It was behind a huge tree with low branches.

He stepped over them and leaned against the tree pulling her close to him. Bruno sat beside her.

It began to rain.

He pulled off his jacket and wrapped it around her pulling her body up close to his.

"You need to keep that on…it's freezing," she said.

"You still have pneumonia," he whispered. "Bruno will keep us both warm."

The heat radiated from the dog.

"You think they're going to leave?" whispered Sara.

"We can't take a chance," said Grissom.

Her head rested on his shoulder.

"Let's stay here and rest," he said. "They're not likely to try to find us in this rain."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," said Brad.

Note from author:

I know...a cliffhanger...there are 43 chapters...the last chapter includes the epilogue...we have a lot of territory to cover so let's get those reviews in and I'll proofread as fast as I can while I work on my other story...LOL

Take care,

Penny


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter twenty nine:**

"Hospital called and David Hollister is out of the coma. He's been asking about Sara. He's demanding to see you or Grissom!" said Catherine.

"I don't give a damn what he's demanding," said Brass.

"He said Sara's life depends on it," said Catherine.

Brass stood there in the hospital room.

He wanted nothing more than to kill the man, but he waited until the nurse cleared the room.

Nick and Warrick stood nearby.

"You wanted to see me?" asked Brass.

"Sara…how is Sara?"

"Like you give a damn!" said Warrick.

"Her lung was punctured. I tried to go for help…you found her right? I told you where to find her," he said.

Brass and Catherine looked at one another.

"You hurt her," said Brass.

"No! I didn't. Jenny and Brad did."

Catherine grabbed Brass by the arm.

"Jenny and Brad hurt Sara?" asked Catherine.

"Jenny told me that Sara was going to the cabin…that she had doubts about marrying Grissom so I should go out there…talk with her. I got knocked in the head. The next thing I remember

is waking up with Brad trying to rape Sara. I knocked the hell out of him and we ran. I knew they were after the money…ten million dollars. With me under arrest, Jenny gets control of our

father's company as well as the assets…ten million dollars."

He coughed.

Nick and Warrick walked forward.

"You raped Sara five years ago," said Warrick.

Nick and Catherine both looked at Warrick.

"I didn't do it. I was drugged. Brad and Jenny set it up to look like I had done it. Sara believed it. She was drugged as well. She thought I was a monster…I'm not!"

"If you didn't who did?" asked Warrick.

"Brad."

The room was silent.

"Look, they thought my father would disown me if they framed me for a rape…he didn't. He kept Jenny out of the will. He didn't like her choice of men…Brad. My father died last year. Jenny

decided to try again when I told her I was still in love with Sara and I planned to bring her back to San Francisco...the award banquet. This time they planned to kill Sara. They were going

to make it look like she had been raped and murdered by me. We got away….they're not going to stop until…"

He glared at Brass.

"Ask Sara! She knows the truth."

"Sara was pushed off a cliff," said Catherine.

Brad stared at them in disbelief.

He shook his head. "She can't be dead! I hid her in the woods…I told her I would get help. I did. I found you!" said David pointing at Nick. "She can't be dead!"

He struggled to get out of bed but was blocked by the uniformed officer.

He lay there and cried. "Can't be dead…I just wanted to protect her…just wanted her to love me again…never stopped loving her."

Catherine and Brass looked at one another.

"Sara is not dead. She just doesn't remember what happened," said Catherine.

"Where is she?" begged David.

No one answered.

"Look dammit! Those vultures are not going to stop until they kill her! If they think for a second she is a threat, they will try to finish the job. Get your asses out there and protect her!"

Brass and the others stepped outside.

"I'll call the local authorities and get them out to the cabin. I'm driving up there," said Brass.

"We're coming with you!" said Nick and the others.

"Catherine you better call Ecklie and fill him in," said Brass as they headed out the door.

"Be careful," she called to the men.

Brass glanced down at his watch and sighed.

"How much further?" asked Greg.

"It's taking longer cause of this damn rain," said Brass.

"I still can't get a connection," said Nick.

"Keep trying," said Brass. "Sara got a call out…not for long but…tell them to be careful," said Brass.

He cursed as the others stared at him.

"I helped Sara talk Grissom into bringing her up here," said Brass.

"She needed to remember," said Nick. "You know Sara. She doesn't want to leave a stone unturned."

"Yeah? Well these two are desperate. They can't afford to leave Sara or Hollister alive," said Warrick.

"No one is getting past the officers at the hospital," said Brass.

"My money is they'll go after Sara," said Warrick.

He had said what they all feared.

"Could you go a little faster?" asked Nick.

Brass floored it.

They arrived an hour later. The rain was now a slow drizzle. The front door of the cabin was wide open.

Brass and the others pulled their weapons as they stepped inside.

"No one is here…no sign of any struggle," said Warrick.

A shot rang out and they froze.

"It came over there!" yelled Brass.

They hurried.

Grissom pushed Brad and the gun discharged.

"Sara, run!" he yelled.

Grissom felt a blow to his side as he continued to struggle for the gun.

Sara released Bruno and the dog charged at Brad biting his leg and upper body.

Brad screamed out in pain as Grissom grabbed the gun and pointed it at Brad.

Bruno continued to bite Brad as he pleaded for the dog to stop.

"Bruno come," commanded Sara.

The dog retreated wagging his tail as he sat down beside Sara.

"Where is Jenny?" asked Grissom.

"I don't know," he said rubbing his leg.

Sara glared at him. "Bruno can attack at my command."

"I don't know! She was supposed to go to the hospital," said Brad.

"She's going to try to kill David," said Sara.

They heard voices and Grissom pulled Sara behind him.

They were relieved when it was Brass and the others.

"I thought you might need some help," said Brass looking at Brad. "I guess we were wrong."

"Jenny is still out there somewhere," warned Grissom.

Nick pulled off his jacket and covered Sara.

"We need to get you out of those wet clothes," said Nick.

Sara's hand locked with Grissom's as she pulled him away from Brad.

He handed Brass the gun. "Shoot him if he tries anything."

Brass glared at Brad. "That won't be a problem."

Grissom leaned down and kissed Sara.

She glanced at Brad but Grissom pulled her into his embrace as they walked down the path.

"So you think Bruno is an attack dog?"

She knew what Grissom was doing.

He was trying to keep her mind off Brad who stood there and glared at them as they walked away.

"He just likes us…besides his owner used to be Lady Heather…right?"

"I didn't think you would agree to take him if you knew," he said with a grin.

"Lady Heather has good taste…I wanted him…just like I wanted you."

"You know Lady Heather and I have only been friends," he said.

"I'll be sure and thank her in person for the dog," she said.

"That's not necessary," he said.

"Yes it is… I have a few things I want to talk with her about."

He stopped in the middle of the path.

"Like what?"

Sara smiled as she continued walking.

"Like what?" he asked again.

"Like…if you prefer leather over lace."

His jaw dropped open as the guys chuckled.

They soon arrived at the cabin.

Grissom shut the bedroom door and watched as she changed clothes.

"We need to get back," he said. "It's not safe as long as she is still out there."

"Did you get the local police to call the hospital?" she asked.

"Yes, I did."

She grabbed a sweater from the closet. "Ready" she said.

He stopped and held her for a moment.

"I'm sorry this had to happen…here. We made some good memories here," he said.

"We'll make some more," she said. "I like this place. We're coming back."

His hand cupped her face and he kissed her deeply.

"Love you, Sara."

"Love you," she said.

His hand swept across her forehead.

"You're warm…very warm," he said.

"I know…I usually get warm if I'm with you in a room with a bed."

He smiled. "We'll have you checked out at the hospital."

"Great…just great," she muttered.

"Surveillance hasn't picked up anything on Jenny," said Brass as he stood there in the hospital hallway with Grissom.

"You okay with this?" asked Brass.

"She wanted to see him," said Grissom trying not to sound too worried.

"I still don't like him. I sure as hell don't trust him," said Brass.

"Me either," said Grissom.

"Good," said Brass.

Nick handed the two men a cup of coffee.

"Thought you might need some," said Nick.

"Thanks Nicky," said Grissom as he glanced toward the door.

"How's Sara?"

"Pneumonia doesn't appear to be any worse despite her exposure to the elements," said Grissom as he glanced at the hospital room. "She has a slight fever but she insisted on seeing him."

"You okay with this?" asked Nick. "I mean, the guy's not squeaky clean and you know how Sara is? She tends to blame herself."

"That's why I had to let her see him…so she can see he's better."

Sara sat there in the chair and rubbed her temple.

She was tired.

Her eyes shot up when she heard him call her name.

"David," she said.

His eyes opened and he smiled. "Thank God, you're okay."

"They caught Brad but they haven't found Jenny," she said.

"If they don't, I will. She's not getting away with this," he said.

Sara said nothing.

"Sara, I never would have hurt you…you know that, right?"

She nodded slowly.

"You've got to be careful until Jenny is caught. Understand?"

She nodded again.

He tried to pull himself up but winced from the pain.

"Worse than any hangover I've ever had."

He stared at her.

"You don't look well. You should go home and rest," he said.

"I am tired. I just wanted to come by and see you."

His eyes lit up.

"Sara…"

"I love Gil. I always have and I always will. I just wanted you to know I don't blame you for what Jenny and Brad did to me."

"Did to you? They took you from me!" he yelled.

She shook her head.

The hallway became quiet when they heard David's outburst. Grissom stepped closer to the door.

He wanted to go in there but knew he couldn't.

This was between Sara and David.

"David, they may have…I'll never forget what they did, but they did not take me away from you. I didn't love you. It's the reason it didn't bother me that you called off the engagement. Sure,

it hurt that I thought I wasn't good enough for you or your family, but the moment I met Grissom, even that didn't matter."

David sat there stunned.

"I'm sorry," said Sara as she stood.

They both glanced at the door when it opened.

It was Hollister's attorney.

"Mr. Hollister, They've located your sister's car. She wrecked…Her body burned up on impact."

The room was silent.

"Good," he finally said. "She needed to burn in hell."

"Sir, there's the matter of Scotty. Social Services was called in when the nanny did not hear from the parents. The child has been placed in foster care."

Sara's eyes met his.

"Why wasn't I notified? They know to notify me immediately if anything happens to Scotty!"

"Sir, you were in no condition…"

"I'm not leaving him with strangers!"

He attempted to get out of bed but was stopped by his attorney.

"David, this is not going to help your son."

Sara's eyes grew wide.

David exhaled deeply.

"Scotty is mine. His mother and I…she died during child birth. Jenny offered to take the baby…to avoid a scandal…and to receive monthly hush money. I provided for the child…no one knows

he's mine. Part of the legacy my father left me…hide your skeletons so your political opponents can't find them."

He winced as he tried to reposition himself in the bed.

"He's innocent in this mess," said David. "I'm not about to let anyone harm him. I love him."

"Sir, we can still keep this quiet," said the attorney.

"I'm sick of the lies," yelled David. "My son should have been with me at all times…not with her or Brad. I had to sneak around to see my son…to hold him…not anymore!"

"I'll notify Services, they'll give custody to an uncle."

"You tell them I'm his father! I have proof Scotty is mine."

"I'll do everything I can," said the attorney.

"I mean it….I want him out of the hands of those people as soon as possible."

The attorney nodded.

Sara headed toward the door.

"Sara, thank you for coming by," he said.

She nodded as she stepped out of the room.

Grissom took her by the arm. "Let's get you home."

"Home sounds good," she said.

The others watched as they walked away.

"I'm worried about them," said Nick.

"We'll just have to keep an eye out for them," said Brass as he stared at the attorney when he hurried down the hall.

Note from author:

As you can see, it is far from over...leave a review. Hey, I have a favor to ask of my readers. My daughter is doing a project for school in which she has made this paperdoll named Stanley. She is supposed to send Stanley all over the U.S as well as other countries. Stanley needs to have his picture taken in these different locations...just one or two. It counts as part of her Social Studies project. I was wondering if any of you would like to help? If so, please send me your actual mailing address through my private email address which you can find on my bio page. I will send a copy of Stanley to you along with a self addressed envelope for his return. You could send the photos by email if you wanted to...anything to make it easier.

Thanks in advance!

Take care,

Penny


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter Thirty:**

She slept for hours as he quietly moved about the house.

He forced Bruno to stay out of the bedroom for fear he would wake her.

Grissom finally came to sit beside her on the bed when hours passed and still she did not wake.

She rolled over and smiled when she saw him sitting there with a book in hand.

"Hey," she said.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Tired," she said as she yawned.

"Your body is still healing," he said.

She slowly pulled herself up.

"Pain isn't so bad," she said trying not to wince.

"Who are you trying to convince?" he asked.

She said nothing.

"They're still trying to get a positive ID from the body found in Jenny's car. We won't know for sure until Doc gets the dental records."

"You don't think…"

"Just want to make sure," he said.

"David is Scotty's father," she said softly.

Grissom looked surprised.

"Jenny and Brad adopted Scotty at David's request when the mother died in childbirth. He was avoiding a scandal."

Grissom leaned down and kissed her.

"Hungry?" he asked.

She smiled.

"Food…the other will have to wait until you're better," he said.

"I am…better," she said.

"No," he said.

"I need you," she whispered.

"Sara, you're in no condition to…"

"Concussion is gone…ribs are healing…pneumonia is almost gone."

"No."

She lay there and said nothing.

"Sara…"

He laid down beside so that he was facing her.

He wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Sara?"

He kissed the palm of her hand.

He remembered she had needed to talk with him.

It was part of the reason for the trip to the cabin.

"I had wanted to take a trip to the cabin because I wanted to talk with you about…counseling. The nightmares were getting worse. I think your subconscious was trying to figure out what

really happened that night in San Francisco."

"I don't need counseling," she said.

"No…you don't…unless there's something else that's bothering you."

"No."

"You said you needed to talk with me," he said.

"I did," she said. "The test… was negative."

"I know. They had to run a pregnancy test while you were in the hospital," he said softly.

"We could try… now," she said softly.

"Sara, next month you'll be stronger…we can start next month," he said.

Their eyes locked.

He saw the problem.

She didn't want to wait.

He was learning how impatient she was.

"Next month," she said sadly.

It hurt him to see her so sad.

His hand gently grasped her chin and turned her face to his.

He kissed her lips.

"Next month," he said.

"I don't want to wait," she said.

"Your health matters to me," he said. "A pregnancy can…"

She nodded before he could finish as she slipped out of bed ignoring the pain as she sat up.

"Want to have dinner in bed?" he asked.

She said nothing as she sat there.

"I can order something," he said.

Bruno padded into the room and wagged his tail.

"He uhm needs a walk. I'll take him," she said.

"Sara, you can't go out…not until they confirmed Jenny is…"

"Dead?"

"I'll turn him out back and let him run around for awhile," said Grissom as he got up.

Sara watched as the two disappeared.

She gulped in air as soon as he was gone.

Her chest ached.

She knew she was still sick.

She had looked forward to trying to have a family and now this had happened.

She pulled herself up and headed into the bathroom for a shower.

He stepped inside and joined her.

"Water is not cold," he said softly as he kissed her.

"I didn't need a cold shower," she said.

"Good," he said.

His lips found hers again and he deepened the kiss. His hands gently caressed her right breast.

"Tell me if it hurts," he whispered.

His hand slipped down her waist.

His eyes roamed down her body taking in every bruise and cut.

He knew that he had almost lost her.

_She wants to try…_

_She's still healing…_

_We need to wait…_

_What if she needs this?_

He towel dried her hair bringing her body up close to his.

He brushed her hair leaving feathery kisses on her neck.

She tied the robe around her body as she headed toward the door but his hand snaked out and stopped her.

"Dinner in bed," he said. "Food won't be here for another hour."

He pulled her body tight against his. His hands untied the robe letting it fall open exposing her body to his.

"So soft," he whispered.

"Griss…"

"Ssssh…just let me love you," he said as his head dipped down and kissed her longingly.

Lips entwined and his tongue darted in and out as her breathing became labored.

He slowed his pursuit as he gently guided her to the bed.

The robe fell to the floor as he joined her on the bed.

He slowly kissed every inch of her body.

She lay there with eyes closed as she reveled in his gentle assault.

His hands caressed her abdomen and suddenly he stopped.

Her eyes shot open.

"I don't want to hurt you," he said.

"You won't," she said.

His hand slowly caressed her abdomen once more. His hand inched further down and her body jerked when he touched her intimately. His fingers dipped ever so gently inside her and her

body arched toward him. He grinned at her reaction. With each kiss he gently eased his body until he was positioned above her. He kept his weight from her as he dipped down taking her

lips into his.

"Tell me to stop if it hurts," he whispered.

"Don't stop," she said frantically. "God, Gil, don't stop."

He entered her slowly. She breathed in deeply. He stopped as he waited for her to respond. He began again slowly and she joined him. She stopped suddenly and her eyes flew open. He

gently caressed her cheek.

"It's okay Sara," he whispered. "It's just me."

She nodded slowly keeping her eyes focused on him.

He set up the rhythm once more and she followed. Soon they were both climaxing together. He kissed her tenderly on the forehead as she closed her eyes.

"Much pain?" he whispered.

"Not much," she said.

"You okay?" he asked.

She nodded.

"You sure?" he asked.

"I'm sure," she whispered.

"Promise me…you'll rest…take some more time off work…let your body heal."

She nodded slowly.

"I don't see why we can't go ahead and try this month," he said.

Her eyes shot open.

"You mean it?"

"Yes…I do."

"But…"

"The past should not hinder our plans for the future…you need this…so do I."

She hugged him tight.

"Sleep," he said. "The food won't be here for awhile."

She nodded as she rolled over and did just that.

She woke to the smell of food.

She smiled when she saw the Chinese containers sitting beside the bed.

"I thought I was going to have to wake you," he said.

"Chinese food!" she said with a glee.

He handed her a container and she took it once she was sitting up.

"Brass called," he said.

"How long have I been sleeping?" she asked.

"A little over an hour…the food was late getting here," he said.

"Anything wrong?" she asked.

"Doc confirmed Jenny was not killed in the car crash…we have no idea where she is…but she's still on the run. Ecklie thought it was best if you did not work for a few weeks…just to make

sure Jenny has left the area. I can't believe she would disappear without Brad or Scotty."

"Brad is not going anyway…Scotty is not her biological son…David was paying her to keep him…"

"Yeah, but biology is just a small part of…I couldn't imagine caring for a child and then just walking away from him…"

"We're talking about a woman who conspired a rape against her own brother."

Sara nodded slowly.

"How is David?" she asked quietly.

"He's still hospitalized. Brass checked in on him today…to see if he had any information that might lead us to Jenny."

"He came out of his coma…why hasn't he been released?"

"Migraines," he said.

"The baby…Scotty?"

"He was still fighting with Services…it seems Scotty is sick."  
"Sick?"

Grissom glanced at her.

"He's been running a fever…Hollister insist on bringing the child here as soon as possible. The court is trying to rush through a custody hearing…the baby is ill and it seems he's been crying

nonstop since he came into care."

"I remember how scary it was for me when I went home with strangers. I can't imagine trying to get a small baby to understand why everything that was familiar is now gone."

He kissed her lightly on the head.

"Hollister's attorney spoke with Brass. It sounds very promising that Scotty will be here in Vegas within days."

"Why not hire the babysitter…Jenny had a babysitter in San Francisco."

"Babysitter went to the tabloids and is selling her story…it seems she saw dollar signs."

"So in the meantime this baby is going to be traumatized…"

"Hollister has very good attorneys. Scotty will be out of care soon."

She said nothing as she finished her food.

"Sara, I need to go into work tomorrow… the lab needs help," he said.

"I'll be fine," she said.

"Nick has tomorrow night off and he's coming to stay with you."

"That's not necessary."

"Yes, it is. The only way I'll be able to work, is knowing that one of them is with you. They've all agreed to stay…Greg is very anxious to come over."

She smiled. "He just wants to see your cockroach collection."

"Well, he can look as long as he doesn't touch," he said as he collected the empty food contents.

Note from author:

Thanks to everyone who continues to leave a review and thanks so much to those of you who have sent me your address in order to receive Stanley into your home. He will be arriving shortly. Do as much or as little but the main thing is to let the kids know what your home is like...this is for Social Studies.

Take care!

Penny


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter Thirty one:**

Sara threw down her cards and smiled as Nick frowned.

"Who taught you to play?" he asked.

"Warrick showed me a few moves…Grissom showed me a lot."

"Right," he said with a grin. "I bet he has."

"Not going there," she said as she hit him.

Sara's head shot up when the police scanner went off.

"That's a 419….with an officer down…no wait…that means…" they stared at one another.

"That's one of us," she said. "Nicky, I have to get to the lab."

"Look, I'll call in and make some inquiries," he said.

"If you don't take me, I'll go by myself!"

"Sara, wait!"

She was already in the vehicle. He quickly got into the driver's side. She tried several times to reach someone.

"You know Grissom doesn't always answer his phone," said Nick.

"I was trying to reach Greg or Catherine," she said.

She glanced at him.

"We're going straight to the lab…you hear me?" he said.

Sara nodded.

She smiled nervously.

Nick reached for her hand. "He's fine…nothing's happened to Grissom."

She nodded.

As soon as they arrived, she rushed out of the vehicle with Nick behind her.

She hurried down the hall and slowed once she saw him inside an interrogation room with a suspect.

Brass was with him.

She breathed out.

"What about the others?" she asked.

"Front desk said someone on swing got his ankle broke when he fell down a ravine…it wasn't anyone from graveyard…see we should have stayed…"

Sara sat down on a bench.

"Just had to know…just had to see for myself…know he's okay," she said.

"This uhm attempted murder has you spooked," he said sitting down beside her and taking her into his arms.

"It's uhm not that," she said swiping at her eyes.

"Then what is it?"

"Just never been happy before…you know…I keep waiting for the bubble to burst…I never thought I would get my happily ever after."

"If anyone should, it should be you Sar."

He kissed her on the cheek as Grissom stepped out.

He looked surprised.

"I'm not working…we were just…wondering if you could do dinner…" she said.

He looked at her and then Nick.

"Yeah, dinner at the diner," chimed in Nick.

"Great," said Brass as he stepped out of the room. "We just finished."

"I'll go see if the others are around," said Nick.

Sara sat there with her hands under her legs.

"You want to wait in my office?" he asked.

She followed him to his office and once inside, he quickly took her into his arms.

"Nice surprise," he said. "Want to tell me the real reason you came?"

"Dinner at the diner," she said.

He nodded.

"What?" she asked innocently.

"Sara, you're wearing your sweats and pajama top."

She glanced down and he chuckled.

"Want to try again?" he asked.

"Scanner reported an officer down…CSI…I got worried," she said quietly.

He kissed her on the forehead.

"Still want to have dinner?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Good cause I'm starving," he said.

She leaned against him as they sat there in the diner with Nick, Greg and Brass.

"Too bad Warrick and Catherine were out on a call," said Nick.

"Love your top," said Greg. "Do I get to see the matching bottoms when I come over tomorrow night?"

"Sorry…It will probably be a nightgown," she shot back.

Greg perked up as Grissom gawked at her.

She chuckled followed by the others.

"Just don't play cards with her," said Nick.

"I thought we could watch a few chick movies," said Greg.

"Chick movies?" asked Brass.

"Yeah, we could watch 'Christine' or 'Carrie"….no wait, you have a new dog. We could watch 'Cujo'…what do you say?"

Sara stared at him. "No horror flicks…comedy."

Greg smiled. "Rated R or…"

"Greg you're making me nervous," said Grissom.

"I promise I'll take good care of her…I'll even be sure and not drop any food on your side of the bed when…"

"Night Greg," said Sara as she stood.

"Tomorrow! Can't wait!" yelled Greg.

"You're weird," said Nick to Greg as he headed out as well.

Sara stood outside the lab.

"I'll say good night," she said.

She kissed him on the lips as she started toward Nick's vehicle.

"Sara?"

She turned and looked at him.

"Nothing is going to happen to us," he said.

It made her stop.

She stood there staring down at the pavement.

He was there in three strides.

He quickly held her.

"I'll wake you when I get home," he whispered.

She smiled as she turned away.

"Don't wait up," he warned.

"I won't."

Catherine stepped out of the building. "I need to see you," she called.

Grissom waved at Sara.

"Mrs. Grissom!"

Sara turned to see David's attorney.

Grissom fumed.

"I need to talk with you," Mr. Martin said. "It's about Scotty," he said. "Please."

She glanced at Grissom who was already there by her side.

"Just five minutes…please. Mr. Grissom can be there as well," he said.

They walked into the lab.

They were immediately met with the sounds of a crying baby.

A woman sat there trying to console Scotty.

"He hasn't stopped crying since he arrived," said Mr. Martin.

"What do you want from me?" asked Sara.

"Mr. Hollister is still in the hospital. Scotty hasn't stopped crying since he arrived. David thought he might respond to you."

"I was only around him briefly," she said.

Grissom stared at the attorney, "Sara is still recovering from…"

The woman quickly handed the baby to the attorney.

"I can't take a screaming baby," she said. "I'm sorry but I quit."

"Wait!" yelled the attorney.

Mr. Martin looked at Sara.

Sara glanced at the baby.

Scotty's small hands reached for Sara.

She hesitated briefly before taking him into her arms.

She winced from the pain and Grissom stepped forward.

Scotty hiccupped as his crying ceased.

The baby stared intently at her face.

"So sorry Scotty," she whispered.

He grasped her face with his little hands.

She smiled.

His head rested on her shoulder as she covered him with the small blanket.

She rubbed his back and spoke softly to him.

He was asleep within minutes.

Catherine and Brass glanced at one another.

"Never knew the kid had it in her," whispered Catherine.

"Babies can sense when they're loved," he said.

"Well, that baby has her wrapped around his finger," said Catherine.

"Mr. Hollister would like for you to keep Scotty…"

"Wait a minute!" yelled Catherine. "You can't expect Mrs. Grissom to keep Hollister's child…the man's family has caused her nothing but…"

"My client never harmed Mrs. Grissom. In fact, he tried to save her. I believe he kept Brad Williams from assaulting Mrs. Grissom…again."

Sara bristled. She glanced at Grissom as she handed the baby over to the attorney.

Grissom quickly began to lead her down the hall just as the baby stirred.

Scotty began to wail again.

Sara stopped.

"Sara, you're in no condition to care for a child," Grissom whispered.

She looked back.

"I'm sorry," she said as she continued down the hall.

She could still hear Scotty's wails and it tugged at her heart.

She breathed in deeply.

"Nick, take Sara to my office," Grissom said quickly.

He turned toward the attorney who was jostling the baby.

"My client only needs a few days. He'll be out of the hospital by then," he said.

"You just need to hire a qualified nurse," said Catherine as she reached for the baby but he refused to let her take him.

Catherine looked shocked.

"Picky little fellow," she said.

"Mrs. Grissom looks like…his mother," said the attorney.

"Then you know the qualifications," said Catherine. "I suggest you start looking."

Scotty continued to wail.

Grissom turned as he saw Sara walk back towards the baby.

She quickly took him and he stopped crying.

She sighed.

"I hate this David Hollister," whispered Nick to Grissom.

"The baby is innocent. He's just seeking…someone who will love him," said Grissom.

"You think this is wise?" asked Nick.

"Sara is not going to let a baby cry when she can comfort it."

Sara gently rocked Scotty back and forth.

She looked at Grissom.

She winced when the baby kicked his foot toward her ribs.

Soon, he was asleep again.

"I don't know what to do," Sara said to Grissom.

"Looks like we have a house guest for a few days," he said.

"Are you sure about this?" she asked.

"No, I'm not. You're not in any position to care for a baby," said Grissom.

"Mrs. Grissom, my client is prepared to hire a nanny…just keep the baby until he is out of the hospital."

"How long?" asked Sara.

"Four more days…maybe less."

She breathed in deeply.

She nodded slowly.

"Great…I'll call the nanny service immediately and have someone come to your home. We'll make sure anything the baby needs will be delivered…baby bed, clothing, formula…anything else?"

"Four days?" asked Sara again.

"Four days."

Note from author:

Let's keep moving... leave a review.

Take care,

Penny


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter thirty two:**

She sat in the back seat of Nick's vehicle with the baby.

They had chuckled when neither could figure out how to install the carseat.

After several attempts, she placed the baby into the carseat and sighed.

She was already exhausted.

Once they arrived at the townhouse, Sara carried the baby inside and placed him on some blankets on the floor.

Bruno stared at the baby.

"Stay," she commanded.

Bruno lay down beside the baby.

"Well, at least the dog can guard the baby," chuckled Nick.

Sara sat down on the couch.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked.

"Tired," she said.

"Look, why don't you lie down for awhile. I'll watch the baby," he said.

She started to get up when Scotty lifted his head and glanced around.

He started to whimper when he did not see Sara.

She patted him on his back and he lay back down.

"Okay…why don't you stretch out on the couch," he said.

She thanked Nick as he covered her with a blanket.

"Sorry Nicky," she said as she yawned. "Just so tired."

"I'll keep an eye on our little houseguest," he said. "Try to get some rest."

"Wake me," she said between yawns.

Hours passed as Nick wandered through the townhouse.

He glanced up when he heard the click of the door.

Grissom stepped inside.

"How are they doing?" asked Grissom.

"The baby woke once and Sara managed to get him back to sleep. He's sleeping on a pallet in the floor. Sara is on the couch. They've been asleep for the last three hours," he said.

Grissom stepped into the room and glanced at the two.

"Griss, you think this is a good idea?" asked Nick.

"No, I don't."

"Sara shouldn't be caring for a baby. She was exhausted when we got back. I'm not sure she's recovered enough to…"

The baby stirred.

Sara's hand quickly reached down and patted the baby's back.

Scotty whimpered and she was immediately on her feet.

"Ssssh, it's okay Scotty," she said as she continued to pat him on his back.

He was back asleep immediately.

Sara glanced up and smiled at Grissom.

"I came home early," he said as he sat down in the chair.

"I'm going to go," said Nick.

"Thanks," called Sara.

"Get some rest," Nick called back as he left.

"Want something to eat?" she asked.

"Not yet," he said. "How is our house guest?"

"He's a good baby," she said. "He's just a little insecure…needs to know someone is with him."

"I see the attorney wasted no time in getting the baby's things delivered," said Grissom as he glanced into the hallway.

"They must have arrived while I was sleeping," said Sara.

She stepped into the hallway and stared at the items.

"Four days?" she asked. "It looks like he's moving in."

"Babies require a lot," said Grissom as he picked up the baby blanket and covered Scotty.

"We should get this portable crib together," she said.

Grissom walked over and took her into his arms.

"You're good with him," he said.

"You're good about this," she said.

The portable crib was placed in their bedroom.

Sara placed the baby's things into the guest room.

She sat down on the couch and stared at Scotty.

"Come have breakfast with me," he said as he extended his hand.

They sat there at the table and ate.

Sara's eyes remained fixed on Scotty's sleeping form in the floor.

"He seems to be sleeping well," said Grissom.

"I don't think he's slept much. He was quite clingy for awhile but he seems to be fine as long as I'm nearby."

"Sara…"

"I know what you're going to say. David will be out of the hospital in four days. He'll be with his…father and then he won't need me anymore. We just have to do this for four days."

"I was going to say it's good practice…give us an idea what it would be like to have a child."

"I'm sorry. I know this must be hard for you…it is for me…I still don't like David…he may not have been the one who raped me but…I'll be glad when he is out of our lives."

_Me too…_

_I am so worried about you…_

_You're going to get attached to Scotty…_

_What if we can't have a child?_

_I'm not as young as I used to be…_

Grissom watched as she cleared the table.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Tired…but good," she said.

"The nanny should arrive in a few hours," he said. "Make sure you get plenty of rest."

"I will."

Grissom stood and let Bruno outside to play in the backyard.

He pulled off his shirt and placed it on the chair in the bedroom.

He smiled when he felt her warm arms embrace him.

"I need a shower," he said.

He stepped out within a few minutes and found her waiting for him in bed.

"I'm tired…but not that tired," she whispered.

He noticed the baby monitor sitting on the bedside table.

The bedroom door was open.

He smiled as he joined her in bed.

She became the aggressor as she straddled him. She leaned down gently and kissed him. Already he wanted her. She smiled when she felt his erection and she quickly shifted to take him

inside her. The rhythm was slow at first but soon increased as their breathing became labored. He watched as she climaxed and he soon followed. He gently pulled her down beside him.

"You were in pain," he said.

"I forget about the ribs," she said as she tried to catch her breath.

"You shouldn't even be carrying any weight…Sara are you sure about taking care of Scotty?" he asked as he rolled over to face her.

"I'll be careful…I'll let the nanny do most of the work…I'll just be around so Scotty can see me," she said as she breathed in deeply.

"Maybe we shouldn't…a few more weeks…"

She looked at him.

"You really want a baby. Don't you?" he asked as his fingers caressed her abdomen.

"Aren't you curious…I mean a part of you…a part of me…forever linked," she stopped as if she had said something wrong.

"It would be nice," he said quietly.

"You don't really want a child…do you?"

"I just don't want this to become an obsession…what if we can't conceive…are you going to be happy with just me?"

"God, yes Gil. You're all I've ever wanted…I didn't mean…"

He kissed her letting it linger before breaking the contact.

"Good."

He leaned back into the pillow.

She kissed him once more before slipping out of the bed and taking the monitor with her.

He heard the door shut before drifting off to sleep.

He woke several hours later to a quiet house.

He slipped into the shower, dressing quickly before stepping into the other room.

He smiled when he saw Sara sitting in the floor playing with the baby.

"Hey," he said with a slight grin. "I think Bruno is a bit jealous."

"Bruno is very good with the baby."

"He's had practice… Lady Heather's granddaughter."

Grissom looked around. "Where is the nanny?"

"I uhm made her leave," said Sara.

"You what?"

"She was too forceful with him…she didn't even make eye contact with him…he was afraid of her."

"Sara, he's afraid of strangers…babies are like that…you should have given him time to get used to her."

"I didn't like her…I didn't trust her…she seemed more interested in knowing about David than…I've been fine without her."

Grissom sat down on the couch.

"Did you call and tell them to send someone else?" he asked.

He knew she hadn't.

"Call."

"It's just for four days…three now…I can handle a baby…besides, it would be too hard on him to get used to someone only to have to leave again when David gets out of the hospital. Scotty is afraid…"

She stopped when Grissom leaned down and took Scotty into his arms.

She sat there and watched as Grissom patted him on his back. Scotty cooed blowing bubbles as Grissom chuckled.

"He's not afraid of you…you're uhm good with him," she said.

"I've had experience…Lindsey was around a lot when she was a baby. Catherine tried to breast feed her for as long as she could. Catherine's mom used to bring her to the office. She was

passed around a lot. She usually ended up in my office."

Sara folded her arms around her knees and watched as he played with Scotty.

"I think he needs to be changed."

"Toxic or just liquid?" she asked.

"Both."

She grimaced. "Toxic can be hazardous…much like decomp."

He grinned. "I'll let you do the honors."

She made a face as she stood taking Scotty into the other room to change him.

He chuckled when she returned with soiled diaper in bag holding it out to her side as she juggled Scotty on her hip.

"Ribs," he warned.

He quickly reached for Scotty and she was surprised when he came to Grissom.

He sat Scotty on the counter and chuckled when he grabbed a coffee stir and shoved it into his mouth.

"You're too young for coffee…how about some milk?" he asked.

Sara prepared a bottle and handed it to Grissom.

"You want me to feed him?" asked Grissom.

"You're doing great," she said as she sat down on the bar stool.

She watched as Grissom held Scotty while he took the bottle.

"We don't have a rocking chair," said Sara.

"Is that a requirement for babies?" he asked.

"Babies liked to be rocked."

"You can swing them back and forth…don't be doing this with those…"

"Ribs," she finished for him with her lips curled into a smile.

He finished the bottle and Grissom patted him on his back causing a loud burp to be released.

They both laughed.

"Greg would be proud of that one," said Grissom as he gently swayed back and forth with Scotty.

Sara smiled when she saw his eyes begin to droop.

"He's asleep," she said.

"He is a good baby," said Grissom.

Grissom gently placed the baby in the portable crib.

Sara pulled the covers up and turned on the monitor.

"You did that very well," she said.

"I think we could do this full time," he said.

"Yes…we could."

Note from author:

Hey! I stayed up way too late working on another story. LOL Don't forget to leave a review!

Take care,

Penny


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter Thirty Three:**

Days passed and they settled into a routine evolving around the little houseguest.

With each day Grissom saw Sara's attachment to Scotty grow.

She lit up when the baby woke and she sat there playing with him for hours.

Grissom even enjoyed time with Scoty giving Sara time to rest.

There was no further discussion of nannies.

He knew he would not be able to convince her to share Scotty with anyone else.

David had called every day.

The conversation was always brief.

He seemed primarily concerned for the child only and had even spoken to Grissom when Sara was busy with Scotty.

On the fourth day, his attorney called.

"They're running more tests. The migraines have gotten worse and the medication does not seem to be helping. My client is prepared to hire a full time nanny to care for Scotty if you can no

longer keep him. He does ask that you visit Scotty just to make sure he is adjusting to the new arrangement."

Grissom stared at Sara on the floor with the baby.

"How long…these tests?"

"We're not sure. Mr. Grissom, perhaps it would be best if we hired the full time nanny…we can't give you an exact date as to when my client is going to be released."

Sara's eyes locked with Grissom.

"We'll keep him for five more days," said Grissom.

Sara grinned as she took Scotty into her arms.

Grissom's stomach lurched.

He wasn't sure whether he had made the right decision.

He had grown attached to the baby as well and did not wish to cause Scotty any distress by having him removed.

Grissom hung up the phone and sat down on the couch.

"Looks like our little friend will be staying awhile longer."

"Migraines?" she asked.

"Yes."

Grissom stood. "I need to be going."

Sara picked the baby up and walked him to the door.

"Play fair," she whispered.

"I'd rather stay here and play with you two," he said as he kissed her on the lips. Scotty reached out and grabbed Grissom's jacket. He gently removed the baby's hand.

"Sorry Scotty but I need this tonight."

Sara watched as he left.

Grissom stepped into the lab with Catherine by his side.

"If one more 419 gets called in tonight," complained Catherine.

"I don't know about the rest of you but I could use food," said Nick.

"Me too," said Warrick.

"Anybody buying?" asked Greg. "Cause I'm sort of short because I bought tickets for…Sara!"

Grissom's head shot up.

She stood there holding Scotty.

"Is anything wrong?" Grissom asked.

"I thought we would have dinner with you," she said.

He grinned. "That would be good."

"You look like a natural, Cupcake," said Warrick.

Sara smiled wide.

Catherine glanced at Grissom. "I thought it was only going to be for four days."

"David is still in the hospital," said Sara. "So we have Scotty for a few more days."

Sara laughed as Greg made faces at Scotty making him giggle.

"I love his laugh," said Sara. "Grissom can make him giggle over and over…he's very good with babies."

The guys grinned. "We've got to see this," said Greg.

"Dinner at the diner…on me," said Grissom.

There was a flurry as the guys headed toward the door.

"You might regret that," said Sara. "They eat a lot…especially when it is free."

"It'll be worth it. Now, I have some time alone with my wife," he said as they walked out.

Catherine sat there and watched Sara as she held the baby.

Scotty grabbed for the food on her plate.

She was quick to remove it, giving him a teething biscuit instead.

Grissom caressed her shoulder as his hand went out and wiped Scotty's little hand.

He squealed with delight causing them to all laugh.

Once Sara and the baby left, Catherine tapped on Grissom's door.

"Can I give you some advice?" she asked.

"That depends," he said motioning for her to sit down.

"Sara is getting very attached to Scotty. Don't you think it would be better if you lt Hollister get a full time nanny for Scotty…Sara could visit with him…she's going to be returning to work

soon anyway."

Grissom said nothing but shuffled the papers on his desk.

"I agreed to the arrangement…not Sara."

"Gil, the longer this goes on, the harder it's going to be for Sara."

He knew she was right.

"She's been really happy these last few days," he said quietly. "I didn't want it to end. She's been through so much."

"The sooner the better," said Catherine as she stood. She turned for a moment and looked at him. "It's not going to be easy for either of you. I've seen that look in your eye. You're just as

attached to Scotty as Sara is."

Grissom sat there in the Denali in front of his house.

He hated to do this.

He had already called the attorney and made the arrangements.

The attorney and the new nanny would arrive tomorrow to get Scotty.

_One more day…_

He opened the door and found her in the floor with Scotty. It was a scene he had grown used to. She smiled at him.

"Hi honey," she said as she stood.

"Sara, we need to talk."

Her smile disappeared.

"What's wrong?"

"David's attorney is coming tomorrow to get Scotty."

"David has been released from the hospital? He didn't mention it this evening when he called."

"No. They've hired a full time nanny. They're going to pick up Scotty tomorrow."

"Oh."

"You're going to be returning to work soon and it's for the best."

Sara glanced at Scotty.

"I'll uhm get his things together. I think there are some of his things in the dryer…I couldn't find his buggy toy this evening…I hope Bruno didn't get it."

"Sara…"

"It's fine. This was just temporary…he's probably ready for a nap."

He watched as she picked up Scotty and held him close.

She rocked him back and forth despite the pain she felt.

His little hands came up and grabbed her hair.

She gently made him release it.

She continued until he was asleep. She sat there holding him in her arms.

"He's asleep. Want me to lay him in the crib?" he asked.

She slowly shook her head.

"Just want to make sure he's…" She did not finish.

"Sara…"

"You told me not to get attached. I tried not to…told myself not to…he's just so…you think David is a good father…I mean Scotty seems…someone cared for him…I can't imagine Jenny…

maybe it was the nanny…I should put him down," she said as she suddenly got up.

Grissom waited until Scotty was in the crib before taking her into his arms.

"This was good practice," he whispered.

"Good practice," she said sadly.

He felt her sadness as he made love to her. She curled her body up next to him as he gently rubbed her back.

"How much pain…" he gently touched her ribs and she grimaced. "Thought so."

"It's better," she whispered.

"I'm worried about you," he said.

"I'm healing," she said quietly.

"Sara, I thought it was best for Scotty to get settled in with someone else before you returned to work…you can visit…help him adjust…"

"Wait. You asked for Scotty to be moved?"

"Catherine saw how attached you've become to Scotty. We talked…"

"It's none of her business! Scotty is just a baby…he doesn't understand any of this…he…Catherine had no business…she let Lindsey stay with anyone while she worked….Scotty deserves

more than just being passed around like…"

"Sara!"

She heaved in and out.

"Catherine was thinking of Scotty…I should have insisted on a full time nanny instead of…"

"I know what's best for Scotty. He…"

"Sara! We've both become too attached…we made the decision based on what we wanted…not what Scotty needed."

She swiped at her eyes.

"He doesn't need to be passed around. I know what that feels like…to get used to someone…some place and then…" She got out of bed wrapping the robe around her.

"Sara…"

He watched as she stormed out of the bedroom.

He cursed as she shut the door behind her.

_Leave her alone…_

_Let her calm down…_

_She's too angry and hurt right now…_

_I knew this would happen…_

_I never should have…_

_We're both going to miss him…_

An hour passed and he stepped out to find her holding Scotty as he slept.

"He was a little fussy," she said softly.

Grissom came to stand beside her. "He was a little fussy last night."

"He might be teething," she said. "He's been chewing on everything."

Grissom felt his forehead. "He feels warm."

"You think we should check his temperature?"

"If it's a fever, it's not very high. It's probably just teething. Lindsey ran a low grade fever when she teethed."

"You know a lot about babies."

"Lindsey was around a lot…Catherine did the best she could under the circumstances. Eddie was never around. She's a good mother."

"I didn't mean…just going to miss him."

He kissed her on the forehead.

"Me too."

They spent the rest of the evening with Scotty. Grissom refused to sleep. He wanted to spend as much time as he could with Sara and the baby.

He took the next night off in order to be with Sara after Scotty left. The attorney showed with the new nanny. She seemed very nice and took to Scotty quickly. Sara watched as she

interacted with the baby. He seemed to like her as well. He clapped his little hands and the nanny attempted to play patty cake with him. Sara stood there motionless as the things slowly

disappeared from the house and was loaded in their vehicle.

"Thank you for taking care of Scotty. Mr. Hollister is very grateful for everything that you've done. He should be discharged in a day or so. He's responding well to his new medication."

Sara nodded slowly. She kissed Scotty and held him briefly before turning away. She held her breath as the nanny took the baby and walked out of the house. She said nothing as she

waited for him to cry but he didn't.

Once the door was closed, she immediately felt his arms around her.

"Scotty seems to like his new nanny."

"That's good," she said quietly.

"You okay?"

"Fine….you should get ready for work," she said.

"I took the night off. I wanted to be with you."

"It's not necessary. Really. I'm…I'm a mess," she said as she hugged herself to him.

"I love you, Sara."

They spent the evening in bed. She clung to him as he read softly to her.

"You should sleep," she said.

"I miss him," he said.

"Me too," she choked out. "Would you love me?"

He made love to her as he wiped away her tears.

He was up before her. He took Bruno for a walk and then returned to find her sitting there on the couch with a blanket.

He kissed her as Bruno jumped up on the couch and sat beside her.

"What are your plans for the evening?" he asked.

"Greg called. He wants to have dinner."

"Good."

"Nick and Warrick called also."

"Really."

"Jim called….followed by Catherine."

He glanced at her.

"I have lots of dinner plans."

"Save a date for me," he said as he leaned down and kissed her.

"Heather called."

"I imagine that was some conversation," he said as he sat down beside her.

She poked him with her elbow. "She was wondering how Bruno was doing. She was very nice."

"Leather or lace? Did you happen to remember to ask her?" he teased.

"I decided I would find out for myself."

"I prefer nothing," he said as his hand slid up her thigh.

"You have to be at work soon," she said.

"I think we have time."

"You think he's okay?" she asked softly.

"No phone calls."

"Yeah but…what if he misses us and they haven't called?"

"Let's give him a day to adjust and then we'll visit," said Grissom.

Sara nodded.

He stood and then extended his hand.

"I prefer lace over leather," she said.

"That's because you're the one in control…always."

"I am not."

"Yes…you are. One look… one touch and I am at your mercy," he said.

"Really?"

"Really."

She smiled slightly. "I always thought you were in control…you were always saying stop."

"Was I?"

"Yes."

"I may have said stop but I prayed you never would," he said.

"I guess prayers are sometimes answered," she whispered as she kissed him. "I never listened."

Note from author:

Fluff...fluff...somewhere there should be some angst... leave a review.

take care,

Penny


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter Thirty Four:**

The shift was difficult.

Grissom spent the entire time in the field.

He was tired when he returned.

It had not been easy for any of them.

He was not prepared to find the several phone messages left for him.

"She just called again. She's at the hospital."

"Hospital?" he asked suddenly.

"She said it was Scotty."

He hurried to the hospital.

Sara was sitting there in a rocker holding him.

"Hey," he said.

"The nanny said he was fussy all night. He wouldn't eat and he's been crying nonstop. He's running a fever."

"Do they know what's wrong with him?" he asked as he placed his hand over the baby's forehead.

"Severe ear infection. I just got him to sleep. He wouldn't go to the nanny. She called me."

Grissom patted the baby's back.

"He's seems better now."

"I couldn't leave him," she said.

"Any word on David?" he asked.

"I'm here," said David.

They looked up and saw him standing in the doorway.

"How is he?" he asked as he came over and stood on the other side of Sara.

"He seems better."

"I'll take him now," he said as he extended his arms out.

Sara hesitated for a moment but placed the sleeping baby into his arms.

"Sara, thank you. I've got him now. I'm not going to leave him."

"He seems to rest better if you hold him up on your shoulder. He likes to have the blanket up close to his face."

David smiled. "You're going to be a good mother."

She said nothing as she walked out with Grissom.

"Sara?"

She turned when David called her.

"He's going to be fine. He's had these ear infections before. A day or so on antibiotics and he'll be fine."

She nodded but hesitated. "If he cries…"

"He'll be fine."

Grissom led her out the door.

"Want to grab something to eat?" he asked.

"Just want to go to bed," she said.

She couldn't sleep despite the tiredness.

"He's going to be fine," said Grissom.

"David seems to be good with him."

"He uhm checked himself out of the hospital…he was going to be released tomorrow anyway. He seems to care about his son," said Grissom.

"He should." She yawned.

She curled up next to him and soon they were asleep.

She was awakened by the phone.

She quickly grabbed it.

"Sorry," she whispered to Grissom.

"It's okay. I've been awake for about an hour now," he said.

"Hello"

She glanced at Grissom.

"I'll be there in an hour."

She flipped the phone off.

"Scotty?"

"He's been crying….David can't seem to console him….neither can the nanny."

"Want me to drive you?"

"You should rest," she said.

"I wouldn't mind seeing him myself."

She smiled.

"Shower with me," she said.

They were at the hospital within an hour.

"I'm sorry I had to call you but he's been fussy."

Sara looked down at the tear streaked face of the baby.

Scotty quickly extended his hands and she took him.

He stopped crying as he took her face into his hands.

She felt his forehead. "He's hot."

David placed his hand over the baby's forehead. "I'll get the nurse."

The nurse appeared and they stood to the side as she took his temperature.

"His fever is back. It's 102 degrees."

David and Sara exchanged glances.

"We'll give him something for the fever. It will help him sleep," said the nurse.

Sara sat down in a chair.

She was surprised when Scotty reached for Grissom.

He took the baby and held him.

Scotty rubbed his hands in Grissom's beard.

Grissom chuckled as he took one of the baby's hands and kissed it.

"Guess he likes your beard also," said Sara.

Grissom rubbed Scotty's back as his little head rested on Grissom's shoulder.

Sara smiled at Grissom.

The scene unnerved David.

"He seems to make friends quickly," said David.

"He's a very social baby," said Grissom.

"We should try to get him to sleep," said David as he took the baby from Grissom.

He pouted for a moment but laid his head on David's shoulder.

"We'll be going," said Sara as she stood to leave.

Scotty immediately began to cry with his hands extended to Sara.

She stopped.

She took the baby and he yawned as he cuddled into her shoulder.

She wrapped him tight in the blanket.

She sat down in the rocker and slowly rocked him.

She hummed softly as Grissom and David watched.

Soon the baby was asleep.

"Rocker is better than swinging him back and forth," she whispered to Grissom.

"Probably doesn't hurt as much either," he said.

"I'm sorry. I forgot about the broken ribs. Should you even be holding him?" asked David.

"No," replied Grissom.

Sara said nothing as she continued to rock the baby.

She was content to hold Scotty.

She glanced up and saw David staring at her.

She quietly handed him over to David.

"Thanks Sara…you too Mr. Grissom," he said.

They stepped out of the room.

"You're going to be tired during shift," said Sara.

"It was good seeing him again," he said as they drove home.

Days passed.

Sara returned to work early.

She had been too lonely at home.

While she missed Scotty, she did not call the hospital.

She felt it was best.

The first day without seeing him was difficult.

Returning to work seemed to help.

She was not prepared to run into them again at the lab.

She recognized the woman as Rebecca, David's fiancé.

She stood there as the nanny tried to quiet Scotty.

The nanny called after Sara.

She turned and was surprised to see them.

"Hello Mary. How is Scotty?"

"He misses you. Mr. Hollister had to return to San Francisco on some business. He did not want to take Scotty back…something about reporters and media blitz."

Sara nodded her head.

"I believe we've already met," said Rebecca coolly.

"Yes, we did at the awards banquet. It's good that you're here."

"I came to see David. We have a wedding to discuss. I was not prepared to find this," she said pointing at the baby. "I mean if my relative was accused of attempted murder I certainly

would not be taking in their child. What does David need with a nephew to care for?"

Sara glanced at the nanny but said nothing.

"I should get back to work," said Sara.

"Wait!" said Mary. "He's been fussy every since they released him from the hospital. I've tried everything."

"Mary, I'd like to help but I'm working."

"Just hold him. Let him see you for a moment. I'm worried about him."

Sara looked at Scotty who sat there in his carrier and cried. She gently picked him up and he stared at her. He sniffled as he babbled nonstop at her.

"I think he's saying some unpleasant things to me," said Sara.

"He misses you," said the nanny.

"I bet you miss Gil also," she said as she kissed his forehead. She was relieved to find it cool.

"You mind if I take him for a few minutes. I won't be long," said Sara.

"Please! Take him. He's done nothing but make noise since I arrived," complained Rebecca.

Sara stood outside Grissom's office until he got off the phone.

He was surprised to see her with Scotty.

"Mary and Rebecca brought him by. He's been fussy again," said Sara.

"Good to see Rebecca is taking an interest in her future stepchild."

"She doesn't know…she referred to Scotty as David's nephew. She also doesn't like him. David is out of town."

"Sara…"

"I know. I'm not getting involved. They brought him. I just thought you would want to see him also."

She turned to leave but he quickly stopped her. "Let me hold him," he said.

Scotty held out his hands and Grissom smiled. "Hi Scotty. Bruno misses you…we all do."

Scott grasped Grissom's face and kissed him.

Sara smiled.

Grissom patted him on the back.

He walked them back to the lobby.

"Good to see you again Mr. Grissom," said Rebecca as she extended her hand. "I understand congratulations are in order. I heard you're now married."

"Yes, I am. Sara and I were married several months ago."

Rebecca glanced at Sara.

"David never mentioned that to me," she said.

Grissom handed Scotty over to Mary.

His lower lip trembled.

"Oh no, not that again," wailed Rebecca. "I can see why David left him here. I have no idea why he insisted on getting custody of his nephew. He certainly did not ask me. You would think

he would ask his future wife about such a move."

Sara said nothing.

Scotty began to cry.

"He likes to be held," said Sara. "Why don't you try?" said Sara to Rebecca.

"I don't like children. Besides, they can ruin clothes."

Grissom gently grasped Sara's hand.

"We have to get back to work," said Grissom.

Sara waited until they were around the corner before stopping.

"Did you hear that? She doesn't even like children. What is David going to do with Scotty? I thought he was going to go public that Scotty was his?"

"Sara…"

"I know…I know…stay out of it."

He pulled her close. "I love you."

"Scotty deserves better," she whispered.

"Go back to work…it'll take your mind off things," he said.

Nick called out, "Hey a 419 just got called in. We're up next."

"Be careful," said Grissom to Sara.

"I drive," she said.

"Okay. Just do the speed limit and…hey wait up," he called after Sara.

"Who lit the fire under her breeches?" asked Nick to Grissom.

"Good luck," he said to Nick.

"Oh, now that doesn't sound good. You pissed her off. Didn't you?" he called down the hall.

She worked like a speed demon as she collected the evidence.

"Want to tell me what's wrong?" asked Nick.

"Did you ever want children?" asked Sara.

"Someday….someday several years from now," he said. "Wait, are you two fighting over…"

"No…it's about Scotty."

"I thought he was back with Hollister."

"He is…his fiancé doesn't like children. She doesn't even know that Scotty is David's child."

"Whoa! I missed something in the report. I thought Scotty belonged to Jenny and Brad."

"Scotty's mother died in childbirth…David was the father. Jenny took the baby to avoid a political scandal for David."

"How many skeletons does Hollister have in his closet?"

"Probably more than you or I care to know. Scotty is caught in the middle. David now has custody and he's engaged to a woman who doesn't even like children."

"Wait, Sara. You can't get in the middle of this. You're just going to get your heart broken in the process," warned Nick.

"I think I already have," she said quietly.

"Look, you and Grissom just need to not pull so many doubles and start a family of your own," he said.

"We're…trying."

Nick chuckled. "You mean…"

"I'm not yet…we're hoping…I'm not even sure…"

Nick just stood there grinning at her.

"What?"

"You're going to be a great momma," said Nick.

She sniffled. "Grissom will be a great father…he's good with Scotty."

"Take my advice Sara. Stay out of Hollister's personal life," said Nick.

Sara nodded.

Grissom was waiting for her when she returned.

She logged in the evidence.

"I need to talk with you," said Grissom.

"What's wrong?"

"The preliminary hearing for Brad Williams has been set for next week."

Sara took a deep breath.

"The D.A. will need to meet with you. You'll need to testify."

She felt her stomach revolt.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I uhm thought he would plead guilty."

"He's not talking to anyone. He's hired an attorney….he also wants a paternity test…he claims he's the father of Scotty."

"That's not possible! David said…Scotty could never come from a monster like…" she stopped as she rushed to the restroom.

"Sara!"

Grissom hurried after her. "Catherine!"

Catherine hurried after them.

"What happened?"

"Sara…check on her," he said.

Catherine rushed into the bathroom.

She found Sara sitting down on the bench.

"You okay?"

She quickly grabbed some paper towels.

The cool wet towels felt good on her forehead.

"Better?"

Sara nodded.

"You want to talk about it?"

Sara shook her head.

"Grissom is outside. He's worried."

"Tell him I'll be out in a minute."

"Is it about the preliminary hearing next week?"

Sara lost the contents of her stomach to the trash can.

"That had to hurt," said Catherine. "You're turning green."

"I'm good," Sara managed to get out.

"You're not good. Is it the idea of having to testify…with Brad…in the room?' she asked.

"He uhm claims he's Scotty's father," she whispered.

"I thought David said Scotty was adopted by Jenny and Brad."

"He did…I uhm…Scotty is not his child…he doesn't belong to Brad…he's…"

"You can't imagine such a sweet child having a monster for a father. Well, I don't blame you. I wouldn't want to have anything to do with the child either…like father like son."

"That's not true! I'm nothing like my mother or father! My father was cruel and mean and he was violent. My mother killed him one day after they had been fighting. I saw her plunge a knife…"

She vomited again.

Catherine was there with fresh towels.

"Sara, you're living proof that genes have nothing to do with what a child becomes. You're even proof that a child can overcome a horrendous childhood and still be a loving and caring person."

Catherine sat down beside her and hugged her.

"Just don't throw up on me," she said.

"Sorry," said Sara sniffling.

"I think you should go home," said Catherine.

"I'm fine," she said.

"Been sick a lot lately?" asked Catherine.

"Just nauseous lately…nerves…what?"

"You couldn't be pregnant, could you?"

"No…I don't think so," she said.

"Missed something…like a period?" grinned Catherine.

"I'm always late…doesn't mean anything," said Sara.

"Unless you're trying to get pregnant," said Catherine.

Sara's eyes widened.

"Nicky told us," said Catherine.

"You think I might be…I'm not pregnant…I mean we just started to try again…I'm not pregnant," said Sara.

"It wouldn't hurt to get a pregnancy test and check," said Catherine.

Sara nodded.

"Want to sit here a few more minutes?" asked Catherine.

"I'm good. I'll get back to work," she said as she walked out. Grissom was leaning against the wall.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine," she said as she headed toward her desk.

Catherine stepped out.

"Is she okay?" asked Grissom.

"She's fine. It wouldn't hurt if she went home early. I mean vomiting twice…"

"Twice?"

"Could just be a virus…have any idea what it might be?" asked Catherine with a grin.

"Virus? She hasn't been sick…"

Catherine watched as if a light bulb had gone off inside his head.

"Excuse me," he said quickly as he hurried down the hall.

Catherine stood there and chuckled.

He hovered at her desk while she spoke with Hodges. Once she was alone, he slid down in the chair across from her.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I'm fine…really. It's just nerves…remember when we were at the cabin…sensitive stomach…nothing more," she said.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Catherine told you," she said.

"It's not unheard of…first month…you're late…it wouldn't hurt to check," he said.

"What if it's negative?" she asked.

"What if it's positive?" he asked.

"We're just getting our hopes up," she said quietly.

He said nothing as he got up.

He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead as he walked away.

"Gil?"

He turned and looked at her.

"I'll take a test in the morning," she said.

He nodded.

Note from author:

I am out of pocket for the evening but I thought I would sneak another chapter in. Leave a review!

Take care,

Penny


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter Thirty five:**

They sat on the bed and watched the clock.

"I think it's been long enough," he said.

She went into the bathroom and picked up the pregnancy test.

"It's negative," she said.

"It's best that we know," he said quietly.

She nodded.

She pulled a double.

He came home and was surprised to find her not there.

They had seen very little of one another during shift and he worried about how she was handling the disappointment

He berated himself for pushing her to take the test.

It had gotten their hopes up.

Now, she seemed quiet.

He called her on the cell.

"Don't forget to walk Bruno," she said.

"Why are you working a double?" he asked.

"I offered to take the case…Greg wasn't feeling well," she said. "I needed to work."

"Want some company?" he asked.

"No. I can do this solo. I need to do this solo," she said.

"Make sure the officer stays nearby. Jenny is…"

"Jim is here," she said. "I rode with him."

"Good."

"Gil?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too. How about I bring you breakfast?" he asked.

"I'm not hungry," she said.

"You skipped dinner last night," he said.

"I'll get something as soon as I'm done," she said.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

She said little during the case as Brass watched her work.

Once they were done, Brass helped her bring in the evidence.

"Let's go to the diner and get something to eat," said Brass.

"I'm not sure I could eat," she said.

"Not nice to break promises," said Brass.

She frowned.

"He called me. He's worried about you," said Brass.

They started out the door when David walked in.

"I'm glad I ran into you. I need to talk with you," he said.

"I'm going home," said Sara.

"It's about Scotty," said David.

Sara closed her eyes.

"Hey, look pal, call and make an appointment tomorrow," said Brass.

David ignored Brass and turned toward Sara.

"Scotty is my son…not Brad's," said David.

"You uhm said you were going to admit that you were Scotty's father…your own fiancé doesn't even know."

"Sara…I don't want to marry Rebecca."

"It's none of my business…I don't care," said Sara as she headed out the door.

David followed.

"Sara! Wait a minute!"

He grabbed her arm and Brass quickly pulled him away.

"If you touch her again, I'll…"

"What do you want David?" said Sara sounding very tired.

"Brad is going to plead guilty," said David. "I'm not about to let some defense attorney make you testify to what happened at the cabin or in San Francisco five years ago. I promise!"

"That's very noble of you," said Brass. "How much are you going to pay him to get him to roll over?"

"I would pay any amount of money if it meant that bastard wouldn't be able to hurt Sara again."

"I don't want your hush money," said Sara. "Just take care of Scotty."

"He misses you. God, Sara. He cries all day…no one can console him. Please…would you come and see him?"

Sara shook her head.

"Punish me but please don't punish Scotty. He's done nothing…he loves you…please. I won't interfere…I'll let Mary bring him."

Sara leaned against her vehicle.

"Bring him by the townhouse…this evening," she said.

"Good," he said quickly. "Just see him Sara. He misses you."

They stood there and watched as Hollister disappeared.

"I think I'll pass on dinner," she said. "I just want to go home."

"You okay?"

"No, I'm not…I just want to be home…with Grissom."

He was waiting for her when she walked through the door.

She glanced at the table and noticed there was a plate.

"You promised," he said.

"I just wanted…" she hugged her body close to his. "Just needed you."

"I made you something," he said. "Jim told me about David."

"I couldn't say no…Scotty needs me," she said.

"Sit down and eat," he said.

She finished the sandwich and then crawled into bed once she came out of the shower.

He spooned his body up next to hers.

"I don't care if Brad is Scotty's father," she whispered. "I don't care."

"Is that what's been bothering you?" he asked.

"David still claims Scotty is his son…why would he lie?"

"Maybe he wanted to use Scotty to get close to you…maybe he thought you would be more receptive to Scotty if he belonged to him rather than Brad."

"I don't care…I just love him," she whispered. "He doesn't deserve any of this."

He kissed her lightly on the lips.

"I don't want to see you hurt," he whispered.

"I don't know what to do…I can't say no…I can't walk away knowing Scotty needs me," she said.

"Sara, I care about Scotty also but we can't let David use him as a pawn," he said.

"Do you think that's what he's doing? Scotty cries every time I see him. He seems frightened and lonely…God Gil, he tugs at my heart each time I see him."

"You can't keep getting upset. It's not good for him or you."

She nodded.

"Mary is going to bring him by this evening," she said.

"Get some sleep," he said.

She was happy to see Scotty. His little hands grabbed for Sara and she cuddled with him on the couch.

"She's good with him," said Mary.

"How's Scotty been?" asked Grissom.

"He's having a tough time. Mr. Hollister's absence didn't help. He's fussy…he just needs stability…He wakes during the night and screams…I try to comfort him but it's as if he's searching for

someone. Mr. Hollister tries to console him but between you and me, I think this is the most time Mr. Hollister has spent with his son. Don't get me wrong, he loves him but I'm not sure he

knows what the future holds for him and Scotty. I mean he can hide Scotty for so long and then word is going to get out…I've been a nanny for years and believe me, celebrities and

politicians can't hide their skeletons for very long."

"What about his fiancé?"

"She doesn't even know Scotty is David's child. I've been told not to say anything. She keeps planning the wedding and he keeps dodging the wedding date."

They glanced over when they heard Scotty giggle.

"I haven't heard him laugh since I was hired. Babies should laugh."

"What does Rebecca think of Scotty?"

"She hates children. She refuses to hold him and complains when he cries. I refuse to leave her alone with him. She's trying to persuade David to give Scotty to another family member. She

still thinks the only reason David requested custody is for sympathy votes. I've heard that he plans to run for the Senate next year."

Mary smiled when Scotty kissed Sara on the lips. He squealed with delight when she kissed him on his stomach.

"She really loves him," said Mary.

"Yes, she does," said Grissom.

They watched as Sara played with Scotty for the next hour.

Sara kissed him on both cheeks and he grabbed her face with his little hands and kissed her back.

"Mama," yelled Scotty.

Sara froze.

Grissom and Mary stared at one another.

"Mama," he repeated as he grasped her face between his hands and kissed her once more.

"You uhm should take him," said Sara to Mary.

Sara stood quickly and handed Scotty to Mary.

He blew bubbles from his mouth as he looked at Sara.

"Mama," he said once more with his hands stretched out to Sara.

Sara shook her head.

"I'll take him home," said Mary.

Sara turned away as Grissom helped Mary with the baby bag.

He held Scotty for a moment before placing him in the carseat.

"I'm sorry. He's never said that before," said Mary.

"It's fine," said Grissom.

Scotty began to cry as he stretched out his hands to Grissom.

He wanted to hold him once more but knew that it was best for Mary to leave.

He found her curled up in their bed.

He pulled her into his arms.

"He uhm left his blanket," she said.

"Sara…"

"Just love me," she whispered. "Just love me. I need to feel you…this hurts so much…so much."

She lay there after they had made love while he slept.

His arm held her tightly against him and she gave up trying to sneak out of bed.

He had been so gentle in their lovemaking despite her urgent need to feel release.

He brought her to climax but then he continued slowly letting it build once more until she climaxed again and again.

The phone call woke both of them hours later.

It was Brass.

"Hey kiddo," he said.

"Hey Jim."

"Brad Williams agreed to plead guilty."

"Oh."

"I thought you should know."

"Thanks," she said softly.

"Sara?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you kiddo," he said.

"Love you too, Jim."

"If you need anything, you call me," he said.

"Thanks, Jim."

She placed the phone back on the table and turned to find Grissom looking at her.

"I'm sorry. It was Jim," she said. "Brad is going to plead guilty."

Grissom said nothing but held her.

"Sara, we need to talk about Scotty."

"Not now…we should shower…Bruno needs to be walked before shift."

"Sara…"

"He was so happy to see us yesterday. Mary is good with him. She tries…not like Rebecca or David."

"You've got to let this go."

"I can't shut these feelings off. I can't explain it. He needs us Grissom but I don't know how to help him. I wish David would spend more time with him."

He started to say something but she was already out of the room.

He listened as she spoke with Bruno.

_She's too attached…_

_David is going to take advantage of that…_

Note from author:

Okay...one more chapter for the night...

Take care,

Penny


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter Thirty Six:**

They missed each other during shift.

Grissom worked in the field with Greg.

It was not his choice but hers.

She wiped her brow as she looked around.

She and Warrick had almost finished.

"Speed demon tonight," quipped Warrick.

"Just ready to head back," said Sara.

"Yeah, well Grissom and Greg will be out all night. Their scene was much worse than this one," he said. "They're working a case not far from where I grew up."

"You uhm lived with your grandmother?" she asked.

"I don't know what I would have done without her. She yanked me out of my father's home…my mother was a drug addict. I don't remember her much. My father would use anyone including

me if he thought he would benefit from it. My grandmother probably sold her soul to the bastard but she got me out of that hell. I don't know what would have happened to me if she

hadn't."

"She must have loved you very much," said Sara.

"Yes, she did. I learned a long time ago, it's not who brings you into this world but rather who is there to love and guide you. My grandmother was a saint to put up with me," chuckled

Warrick.

Sara smiled slightly.

"You okay? You've been really quiet," asked Warrick.

"I'm fine," she said.

She cursed when her phone went off and she saw that it was David.

She ignored it.

"Problem?" asked Warrick.

"No," she said as she began collecting the evidence bags.

It rang again.

She let it ring.

Warrick glanced at her.

She was relieved when it stopped.

She leaned against the wall when it rang again.

She pulled out the phone and answered it.

"Yes?"

"Sara, I need to talk with you…about Scotty."

"Talk."

"Not on the phone…I'm at the lab…meet me in the parking lot…for five minutes."

She slipped the phone back into her pocket and carried the evidence bags to their vehicle.

Sara glanced at Warrick.

"Could you log in the evidence…I have something I need to do when I get back to the lab," asked Sara.

"Sure thing…you sure you're okay?" asked Warrick.

"I'm fine," she said as she forced a smile.

She was quiet on the drive in.

Warrick kept up the small talk but it was obvious something was bothering her.

He sneered when he saw Hollister's car in the parking lot.

Warrick watched as she slowly got out and crossed the parking lot to David's car.

David stood there leaning against it.

He smiled when he saw her, opening the passenger door but she refused to get in.

He was quiet for a moment.

"Mary uhm told me what happened yesterday," he said. "Scotty cried most of the night. Mary has threatened to quit. Look, I love my son. I'm not sure how to help him. He wants his

mother…or whatever that made him feel safe…he feels safe with you, Sara."

"No," she heard herself say.

She surprised herself.

"Sara, he needs you. I don't know how to console him."

"He needs stability! He needs to be in one home with the same person or persons day after day. He doesn't need this constant change. He needs his father…one that doesn't disappear all

the time!"

David ran his hands through his hair.

"I can't even publicly admit he's mine. Everyone still thinks he's my nephew."

"Why did Brad think he was the father?" asked Sara.

"Brad wanted to hurt me…ruin me politically…nothing more."

"What's more important? Your political career or your son?"

"I wouldn't have a difficult time with that question if he belonged to you and me."

He looked at her.

"We used to have conversations about having a child…remember?" He closed his eyes for a moment. "I wish Scotty was yours….and mine. Think of it Sara…ours…God, I've always loved you…

even when I was in bed with someone else…I wanted it to be you."

"I think I've heard enough," said Sara as she started to walk away.

"Look, I admit I still love you. If Jenny and Brad had never…"

"I didn't love you! I loved Grissom then and I love him now."

"I don't believe that….we could have been happy. That was my fault. I listened to my father…I let him control me."

"Who's controlling you now? What about Scotty?" yelled Sara.

"You never let anyone know how much you wanted children…I knew…you still do," he said as he sighed. "I can't have you but maybe my son could at least have your love," he said sadly.

He took a deep breath. "I'm prepared to give you full custody of Scotty…. I'm willing to relinquish my rights…so you can adopt Scotty. I'll make sure Brad does not hinder the adoption

process in any way."

Sara looked shocked.

She could not believe what he was saying.

"What about Jenny?"

"Courts will allow the adoption because Jenny abandoned her son and is currently running from the law."

Sara's heart fluttered.

_He's giving me Scotty…_

_He'll be safe…_

_He'll be with us…_

She licked her lips.

For the first time in weeks, she felt hopeful.

"I'll talk with Gil as soon as he returns from the field," said Sara.

"Sara, there's one condition."

"What's your condition?"

He took a deep breath.

"Sleep with me."

"What?"

"Let me love you…just once…that's all I ask. One time…I'll have the papers signed and waiting. Mary will have Scotty packed and ready…one time."

"No!"

"You pretend to love Scotty, prove it. One time…one hour Sara…with me…and then you'll have Scotty for life."

"No!"

"You're going to let him cry for you? You're going to abandon him? Forgive me but let's just assess the situation. You want children. You and I both know that might not happen. I remember

our conversations, Sara...the OB appointments…the recommendation for you to marry and conceive as soon as possible…that was five years ago. How long have you and Grissom been

trying?"

"Shut up!"

"Have you told him Sara? Have you told Grissom it may never happen? You have a child that loves you Sara…a child that you love…even Grissom is attached to Scotty….instant family…for one

hour."

"No."

"Scotty deserves to be loved…by two parents. You know Rebecca doesn't even like him. She won't even hold him for Christ's sake. What kind of life is he going to have with us? You have the

chance to change that. One hour, Sara. Isn't Scotty's life worth one hour?"

"You bastard!"

Sara turned to go inside but his hand snaked out and grabbed her wrist.

"Wait. Don't go…think about it…I swear…I won't change my mind. I have the documents already drawn up…he can be yours tonight. I'm willing to give you my child...my son…just let me love

you…I won't hurt you…I could never hurt you, Sara."

"You're sick! You'd sell your child for an hour of sex? You're a monster just like Brad only worse!"

"I'm not selling my son…I'm selling my soul…for an hour with you…because I love you…because we should have made love all those years ago…I'm trying to do the right thing…Give Scotty

what he needs…Think about Scotty…meet me at my suite in an hour…Sara please."

Warrick stepped out of the building to retrieve another load of evidence.

Sara quickly wiped her eyes.

"Is there a problem, Sara?" asked Warrick.

"David was just leaving," she said.

"An hour," he said. "Scotty will be waiting in an hour."

Warrick turned but Sara was already inside.

She hurried to the locker room.

She sat down on the bench and breathed in deeply.

_An hour…_

_For Scotty…_

_Let him have sex with me…_

_An hour…_

_For Scotty…_

_What if I don't?_

_What happens to Scotty?_

"Did he do something?" asked Warrick.

"What would you be willing to do for a child?" asked Sara.

"I'd give my life," said Warrick.

Sara gulped.

"Sara, what's this about?"

"I uhm going to see Scotty," she said.

"You sure you should be doing this? Wait for Grissom."

"Tell him I'll see him at home…in an hour."

"Sara is everything okay?" asked Warrick.

She nodded. "I have to do this…for Scotty."

Note from author:

Now, you see why I didn't want to post this chapter last night...leave a review...and yes major angst has just arrived. I previously told you there are 43 chapters. I of course miscounted. LOL There are 42 so we are getting near the end...

Take care,

Penny


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter Thirty Seven:**

He opened the door on the first knock.

"He uhm left his blanket...at the house," she whispered.

"Come in. Mary is upstairs with Scotty. She's trying to get him to sleep. Why don't you go upstairs and rock him. He's missed you."

Sara climbed the stairs.

She knew the way.

She simply followed Scotty's cries.

She stepped into the room and Mary smiled. "I'm glad to see you. He's missed you."

Scotty turned and stared at Sara.

He fussed but then extended his hands and cried for Sara.

Sara quickly took him.

She held him tightly against her chest.

"Momma," he wailed. He grabbed fists of her hair and clung to her.

"So sorry Scotty. I'm not sure I can do this," she whispered. "I'm not sure I could live with it…do that to myself and…Gil."

Scotty snuggled into her as she sat there in the rocker.

She covered him with the blanket she brought and held him until he slept.

Sara held him tight against her.

David stood at the door and watched.

"He needs you," he said. "He only responds to you…isn't that right, Mary?"

"Yes, he does. He loves you very much," said Mary.

"Mary, why don't you put Scott to bed? Sit with him in case he wakes. Sara and I have some personal business to work out. Scotty is going to be living with Sara and Mr. Grissom. I just need

to sign the papers."

Mary glanced at Sara.

"This is the best thing for him. He's happy with you," Mary said quickly.

"Mary, I want you to get Scotty's things together while we complete the paperwork. Sara will come and get him when we're finished."

Sara watched as Mary lifted Scotty from her arms.

She smiled at Sara.

Grissom's words echoed again and again in her head.

_I'm your last…_

_Mates for life…_

_I love you Sara…_

She felt David's hand on hers.

She stared at the touch.

She felt nothing as he guided her out of the room.

She stood there now in his bedroom.

She watched as he shut the door.

He was there suddenly in front of her.

"Just let me love you," he whispered.

David's hand caressed her cheek.

"So soft," he murmured as he leaned in to kiss her.

"Don't! Don't touch me! I uhm can't do this. I can't…please David…please…I can't do this," she sobbed. "Not even for Scotty. I can't…I can't…my marriage vows…I could never let anyone

touch me except Gil…please!"

He cursed. "You just rocked your son to sleep…you could do that every night…your son, Sara. Scotty could be yours…just…"

She shook her head.

"Please let me take him," she begged. "You don't want him. He's just a baby. He deserves someone who will love him and protect him…Gil and I will do that. Please."

His hand swiped a tear from her face and she trembled.

David pulled her into an embrace.

She panicked, pushing him away as she ran out of the room.

"Sara!"

She ran down the stairs and out the door.

She did not stop until she was at her car.

A hand grabbed her arm and she jerked away from it.

She whirled around to face Grissom.

"Gil?"

"Warrick said you were coming here…to see Scotty. What's wrong?"

She swallowed hard as she tried to catch her breath.

"Sara, what happened?" he yelled.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I don't know what I was doing."

She leaned against the car and began to cry.

His stomach knotted as he glanced at her appearance.

_Don't jump to conclusions…_

_Don't think she would…_

"Want to tell me what happened?" he said in a low voice.

"He uhm…David agreed to give us custody of Scotty if…I uhm came here and slept with him. He would sign over custody after we…he would allow us to adopt Scotty."

Grissom glanced at Sara and then the hotel.

Hurt and betrayal crossed his face.

"I didn't," she said quickly.

"You came here, knowing that he wanted to…you were going to let him…" He stood there and stared at Sara.

"I just wanted to…"

"Sell yourself!"

"No! I uhm…" she gulped. "I'm sorry."

"You came here knowing that he wanted you in his bed! What were you thinking?" he yelled.

"I wasn't…I wasn't thinking about anything but Scotty. Gil, I'm sorry…"

"How far were you willing to go Sara? How far did you go? Did you let him touch you? Did you think you could just give yourself to him, get Scotty and then slide back into our bed as if

nothing had ever happened?" He yelled.

"I didn't…I couldn't…"

She stepped toward Grissom but he stepped back.

She swallowed the tears that erupted.

"Gil…say something."

"I can't be with you right now," he said between clenched teeth.

"I uhm so sorry," she said.

He stood there and stared as the tears dropped one by one.

_This is exactly what he wanted…_

_Drive a wedge between us…_

Grissom's phone went off.

His hand went up in the air to indicate he was not finished talking with her but he cursed when she got into her car and drove away.

"Grissom."

"She's fine, Warrick."

He closed the phone and stared at the car as it sped away.

He glanced at the hotel building as he cursed.

_go after her..._

_I'm too angry..._

_how could she?_

He sat there in his vehicle and fumed.

His phone went off and he stared at the caller ID.

It was Sara.

It was the other Grissom.

He threw the phone into the floor board.

She told herself to breathe when he did not answer.

She knew he was not answering his phone on purpose.

"_I can't be with you right now."_

His words cut like a knife.

_No Grissom…_

_No Scotty…_

_What have I done?_

_I deserve this…_

_I betrayed his trust…_

_I couldn't help Scotty…_

She sat in her car in the parking lot.

She had purposely parked in the far corner in hopes no one would see her.

It was a mistake.

She jumped at the tap on the door.

"Hey Kiddo. Want to tell me what you're doing here?" asked Brass.

"I was just…"

"First fight huh?"

She said nothing.

"Mind if I sit with you?" he asked.

She unlocked the door and he slid into the front passenger seat.

"I was wondering how long it would be before he did something…"

"He didn't do anything," she said swiping at her eyes.

"It takes two to fight," he said.

"We uhm didn't fight," she said.

"Then why is a newlywed sitting in her car, in tears when she should be at home with her husband who I know for a fact left here about an hour ago?"

Sara said nothing.

"I haven't had dinner…let's get something," he said.

She shook her head.

"Going home?" he asked.

She said nothing.

"Okay. You didn't fight but yet you're avoiding him. What did you do?" he asked.

"I uhm hurt him," she whispered.

"I don't believe that," he said. "Besides, if you did, it was not intentional."

She again said nothing and he frowned.

His radio went off.

There was another 419.

"Just when we were getting to the bottom of this," he said. "I should make sure Catherine has this covered. I think she and Nick are still here."

Brass was surprised when he walked out of Catherine's office and ran into Sara. She did not look at Brass but turned toward Catherine.

"Need some help?" asked Sara to Catherine.

"You volunteering? Griss left here about an hour ago. Wouldn't you rather be at home with your new hubby?"

"Need the help or not?" asked Sara.

"I'm not going to turn down help," said Catherine. "Get your kit and let's go."

"Meet you in the parking lot," said Sara as she walked out.

Brass stared at Catherine.

"Do I detect the end of the honeymoon so soon?" asked Catherine.

"Keep an eye on her," said Brass. "She's not herself."

"Think we should call Grissom?" asked Catherine.

"Let him find out for himself. If my wife didn't show at home, I would be concerned. He should too," said Brass.

"You think he screwed up already?" asked Catherine.

"Not yet…but I have a feeling he's about to," said Brass in a low voice.

"Then don't you think we should…"

"He needs to do some crawling…Sara waited five years."

"I see you've already chosen sides," said Catherine.

He said nothing but walked away.

Catherine handed Sara some fibers and she put it in an evidence bag.

"So…I remember my first fight with Eddie…but then again Eddie and I fought a lot. You know the best part about fighting, is the makeup sex. It was always good."

Sara said nothing as she turned and began searching for evidence across the room.

"Did you plan to have Lindsey?" asked Sara quietly.

"Yes and no. I remember having a discussion about kids and the next thing I know I'm pregnant. The timing sucked but we got through it."

Catherine stopped working and looked at Sara.

"You're not…"

"No."

Sara continued to work but glanced back at Catherine.

"Would you do anything for Lindsey?"

"Yeah…I would. I'd kick anyone's ass that hurt my daughter…there's no limit to what you'd do for your child. I'd even kill if necessary."

Sara's eyes dropped to the floor.

"How's Scotty?" asked Catherine.

"He uhm…" Sara did not finish but continued working.

"Warrick told us that you were going to see him tonight. I made Gil leave early so he could meet up with you. He did, didn't he?"

Sara sat down in the floor.

"I should finish this," she said.

"Sara, are you alright?" asked Catherine.

"I'm uhm fine," she whispered.

Catherine glanced at her but quickly turned away when she saw that Sara was crying. She knew the last thing Sara would want was an audience to her melt down.

"I'll get the next room done," called Catherine.

They finished the crime scene and headed back to the office.

Sara checked in the evidence.

"Go home," said Catherine. "You look beat."

She was tired.

Sara never felt so tired before.

She headed toward her car and she stopped when she saw him standing there in front of it.

"Ready for something to eat now?" asked Brass.

She stared at him.

She didn't like her options.

"_I can't be with you right now."_

_I can't go home…_

_I don't want to go to my apartment…_

_There's not much left in it…_

_Just boxes and a few things waiting for storage…_

_He doesn't want to be with me…_

_I don't want to be alone…_

_God, the nightmares will come…_

_I'll be alone…_

"Diner," she said softly.

"Best food in town," he said.

They sat there waiting for their order.

She sipped on the glass of water while he stared at her.

Her phone went off and she jumped.

She glanced down and saw that it was Grissom.

_Nine hours later and he calls…_

_Probably wondering why I'm not at work…_

_Didn't care that I never came home…_

_Didn't care…_

She sipped on the water as she ignored the phone.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" he asked.

Note from author:

Hold off with the hate emails...LOL Take a deep breath and continue.

Take care,

Penny


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter Thirty eight:**

She said nothing but continued to sip on the water.

"Expected him to call sooner?" asked Brass.

Their food arrived and she was grateful as she ignored his question and bit into the omelet.

She took another bite.

"You're not going to talk to me, are you?" asked Brass.

She took another bite before setting the fork down.

Her stomach churned and she willed it to remain calm.

She grabbed the water and drank some.

It didn't help.

She was gone in a flash.

He sat there and watched as she scurried to the bathroom.

When she returned, she noticed there was a small plate with toast sitting in her spot.

"I thought it might help," he said.

She thanked him as she ate a piece.

"Would it help if I told you the reason he didn't call sooner is because I called him," said Brass.

Her eyes shot up to meet his.

"I couldn't count on him to do the right thing so I called him. I told him you were working a double with Catherine."

She finished the piece of toast.

"He never told me what caused this…you going to clue me in?" asked Brass.

"What would you do for Ellie?" asked Sara.

Her deliberate refusal to answer the question frustrated him.

"Ellie is grown…she has a mind of her own," said Brass.

Sara stared at him.

He sighed out loud and began to talk. "You tell yourself you would treat everyone the same but not when it comes to your own child…you give them pass after pass…you bail them out of

jail, send money when you know it's a mistake, and you'd gladly give up your life for them…even if they don't appreciate it."

"Ellie is not yours," she whispered.

"Does that matter?" he asked.

Her hand shook as she set the piece of toast down.

"David offered to give us custody of Scotty," she said.

She swiped at her eyes. "He said he would sign papers allowing us to adopt Scotty."

"Why do I hear an 'if' in there?" asked Brass.

"I uhm would have to sleep with him," she said.

Brass set his coffee cup down with a thud.

He stared at Sara.

"Warrick said his grandmother probably sold her soul to get him away from his dysfunctional parents…Catherine said she would kill for Lindsey. You even said…"

"Sara, did you…"

She shook her head.

"I couldn't."

Brass released the air he had been holding.

"Sara…"

"I love Scotty…but I couldn't. I wanted to protect him. He called me 'momma'…did you know that? I went there…I rocked him to sleep. He'd been crying…doesn't understand why I pop in and

out of his life…like David…David told Mary to get his things together… that he would be going home with me… he was giving custody to us. He told her we had some personal business… I

would come and get Scotty when we were finished."

She swiped at her tears and looked at Brass. "I didn't go and get him. I couldn't…"

He cursed inwardly.

"I ran out. All I could think about was getting to Grissom. It's funny…how quickly he's become…my rock…I just wanted to get to him…I turned around and he was there. Warrick told him

where I was going. I told him and he…he was so angry…so hurt. I never should have gone there."

"You didn't do anything wrong," said Brass.

"Didn't I? He was right. I went there knowing what David wanted but I went anyway."

"You went because you love Scotty. You couldn't because you love Grissom."

"I hurt them both," she said as the tears increased. Her hand held the side of her head as she swiped at her cheeks with the other.

"Listen to me," said Brass. "You…"

"He uhm said he couldn't be with me right now," she managed to whisper.

"He just needed to calm down. Sara, he…"

"I need to go," she said. "I'm sorry…I need to go."

"Go home," he said.

"I can't," she said. "He doesn't want me."

"That's bullshit and you know it," he said.

She didn't.

Her eyes told him she didn't believe it and for a moment he wanted to throttle Grissom.

He dropped her off at her vehicle and he watched as she left.

Grissom looked up when he saw Brass standing there in his office.

He said nothing when Brass closed the door and sat down.

"I was at the diner with Sara…in case you were worried where your wife was," he said. "I sent her home but I'm not sure she'll go there."

Grissom sighed. "I yelled at her. That son of a bitch offered her Scotty if she would sleep with him."

Brass glared at Grissom.

"She went there knowing what he wanted," said Grissom as he threw a file onto his desk.

"So is that why you can't be with her right now? Because of your damn pride!" yelled Brass.

Grissom's eyes shot up.

"You were just waiting for her to hurt you…has she ever hurt you? She's scared Gil. She knows you can hurt her…You've hurt her before and each time you hurt her she blamed herself…for

not being what you wanted her to be. She's done nothing but love you. You have all the power here…Sara's strong but she's also fragile. Understand?"

Grissom nodded.

His words played over and over in his head and he cursed at himself.

"_I can't be with you right now"_

She had felt rejected.

She had apologized over and over when he should have let her explain. He should have understood why she did what she did. She would walk through fire for Scotty. She was acting on

maternal instinct to protect him.

_He's not even our child…_

She had felt guilty when she could not do what Hollister had asked.

_She thought she was letting Scotty down…_

_Bastard…_

"Gil, Hollister has no intentions of giving that baby to Sara. He's using him as bait," said Brass.

"She never should have gone," said Grissom letting his jealousy show.

"How long are you going to leave her alone? I think you're nine hours overdue," Brass yelled. "Do you know how much you hurt her? Oh she won't tell you…she'll never admit it. You just

scared the hell out of her! She's so afraid you're going to do what you've always done…reject her…well guess what, you did just that. One mistake ...hell I don't even think it was a mistake

and you tell her…"

"I know what I said…I didn't mean it," he said.

Grissom cursed when Ecklile stuck his head in the door.

"We need you," said Ecklie.

Once Ecklie disappeared, Brass stood. "Don't forget Sara needs you as well."

His mind was not on the meeting with the undersheriff. He was relieved when it was over. He checked his phone messages. There were none from her.

He drove home and cursed when she was not there.

His phone rang and he answered.

"She's at her apartment," said Brass.

"Thanks," said Grissom as he headed over there.

He tapped at the door but she did not answer.

He rummaged through his pocket until he found the key. He unlocked the door but could not enter.

_She's put a chair against the door…_

_Shit…_

_She's afraid…_

"Sara?"

"Go home," she whispered.

"No."

"Please," she pleaded in a soft voice.

"We need to talk."

He heard footsteps and then the chair was removed.

The room was pitch black.

Boxes littered the walls.

The only remaining piece of furniture was the couch.

She lay back on the couch and clutched the covers tight against her face.

He sat down on the edge of the couch.

"We need to talk," he said.

His voice was soft but the sound pounded in her head.

The slightest movement brought tears to her eyes.

It was worse than falling off the cliff.

Her body was racked with pain.

She closed her eyes refusing to look at him.

_One hour…_

_Your son…_

_For Scotty…_

"_You never told him, did you?"_

"_I can't be with you right now."_

He recognized the symptoms.

"How long have you had the migraine?" he asked.

She said nothing.

"The doctor warned you might headaches for several months," he said.

It hurt to talk.

"Taken anything?" he asked.

She nodded slowly.

"The medication will help soon. Just try to sleep."

"Sorry…so sorry," she managed to get out.

"We're going to talk…when you're better. Not now," he said.

"Sorry," she choked out as she began to cry.

"Sara, don't. It'll just make it worse, honey. Just sleep…the migraine will pass."

"I didn't…" she said between clenched teeth. "I wouldn't…"

He quickly kissed her on the forehead as he took her hand into his and held it to his cheek.

"Never…should… have…gone," she said.

"Sara…let it go," he said.

She curled up in a ball.

She slipped her hand from his.

"Just…wanted …to…protect…Scotty," she cried.

She sobbed uncontrollably causing the pain to increase.

"I love you, Sara…this doesn't change anything…I love you."

"Hurt…you…so…sorry," she sobbed. "So sorry…so…sorry."

She felt the effects of the drug finally as she felt herself floating.

The pain eased.

She welcomed it.

She could no longer face him at the moment.

He sat there with her cursing at himself.

The incident had hurt her far worse than him.

She woke a few hours later.

She rose in a sweat.

She covered her mouth to stifle the scream.

He was there within minutes.

"I'm here," he said.

He reached for her but she sat up.

Her head was not much better.

She forced herself off the couch and showered.

"Ready to go home?" he asked.

"I'm fine here," she said softly.

"Sara, I'm sorry. I was angry. Please, let's just go home and talk," he said.

"You uhm don't have…to do this…I can stay…here. You don't have to…" she closed her eyes to ward off the nausea.

"I want you home…with me," he said. "Please, Sara."

Note from author:

I know I left the worse angst for the last...leave a review...you've been great about voicing your opinions...LOL

Take care,

Penny


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter Thirty Nine:**

She kept her eyes on the floor as she nodded slowly.

She walked to her vehicle but he quickly took her keys.

"Ride with me," he said. "We'll pick up your car later."

She slid into the seat and closed her eyes as she gripped the seat trying to stave off the nausea.

"Not much further," he whispered every now and then.

She said nothing as she stepped into the townhouse.

Bruno wagged his tail as she petted him on the head.

"I think you should lie down," he said.

She didn't object.

She had no energy.

She curled up on her side of the bed.

"Need anything?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"Migraine…isn't gone. How is the pain?" he asked.

_It hurts…_

_God it hurts…_

_I disappointed you…_

_I hurt you…_

_I saw the look in your eye when I told you…_

_I never wanted to hurt you…_

_Never wanted to see that in your eyes…_

_You don't trust me any more…_

_So sorry Gil…_

_So sorry Scotty…_

"It's fine," she whispered.

"Tired?"

She nodded.

"I'll let you sleep," he said softly. "Want me to stay?"

_Just want you to hold me…_

_Forgive me…_

_Never meant to do this to us…_

She shook her head. "No need to stay."

"Call if you need me," he said.

She closed her eyes and slept.

He sat there in the chair with his book in hand.

Her sleep was fitful.

It was obvious she was in pain and yet she did not complain.

By late evening, she rose slowly.

"Feeling better?" he asked.

His voice startled her.

"I'm sorry," he said.

She slowly swung her feet over the side of the bed.

"Shift will start soon," she said.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Better," she said as she made her way to the bathroom.

He said nothing as he heard the shower turn on.

He felt responsible as he listened to her cry.

She emerged and headed to the kitchen.

"I'll walk Bruno," she said.

"He's been taken care of," he said quietly. "I thought we could talk before shift."

She stood there with her arms folded about her.

"Sara…"

"I'm sorry," she blurted out.

"I think you've said that enough," he said.

He looked at her. "What are you sorry for?"

"I'm sorry…I never should have gone there…I'm sorry," she said again.

"Sara…"

"So sorry," she managed to get out before breaking down.

He quickly grabbed her into his arms. "Ssssh it's okay. Not your fault…he knows how much you love Scotty…he used your love against you…I'm sorry Sara…I'm sorry he hurt you…I'm sorry…I

think I hurt you more than David did. I pushed you away…when you needed me…when you were hurting…I pushed you away," he choked. "I'm so sorry Sara."

"Not you…I haven't been honest with you…I haven't…" she broke down.

"Talk with me," he pleaded.

She sat there and told him.

He was quiet as she slowly told him about her fears of not being able to conceive. She cried over her inability to find a way to help Scotty. She talked about what it felt like to see the hurt

and anger in his eyes. She told him everything.

He held onto her tight when she tried to flee.

"Listen to me. There's nothing that you can do to make me stop loving you. Understand? Nothing! I love you…if we never have a child of our own Sara…nothing matters but you. You're the

only person I've ever loved...never realized that until the other night. I never knew what love was until you."

"I didn't mean to hurt you," she said. "So sorry."

"Stop! You have nothing to be sorry for…God Sara. I'm sorry I hurt you."

He wiped her tears and kissed her.

He held her tight.

She shivered.

"Let's have dinner," he said.

She said nothing.

"I'll order in," he offered. "We have a few hours before shift."

She stood there and watched as he ordered Chinese.

She felt odd.

She jumped when his hand grabbed hers.

Her reaction did not go unnoticed.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he said. "Let me hold you…let me show you how much I love you."

He pulled her back to the bed. Soon she found herself wrapped in his arms.

"I love you Sara…love you so much," he said.

His hands stroked her hair.

She seemed to calm down.

His lips lightly touched hers as his hand continued with slow gentle strokes.

His other hand slipped under her blouse and cupped a breast. She sucked in air. He deepened the kiss as his hand rubbed her nipple sending chills down her back. He eased back and

waited for her to return the kiss.

She did.

It was slow and careful and she trembled when his hand dipped down and rested between her thighs.

She moaned with each stroke.

Her blouse was removed followed by her pants.

His hands dipped down in her panties and she arched her body toward his.

"Missed you…wanted you," he whispered. "Don't ever be afraid to come to our bed, Sara."

She said nothing as she gave herself to him.

He entered her and she closed her eyes tight.

"Open your eyes, Sara," he whispered.

She couldn't.

"Honey, please," he whispered.

Her eyes glanced at him before looking away.

"Look at me," he said.

His hand turned her chin forcing her to look at him.

"You didn't do anything wrong," he said.

A single tear slipped down.

He kissed it away as he plunged deep. He coaxed her body to respond and soon she was moving in unison. He brought her to climax and held on for as long as he could before letting go.

He held her tight.

"You okay?" he whispered.

She nodded.

"You're quiet," he said.

She burst into tears.

"Sara?"

She pulled herself tightly against him.

"I've got you, Sara. I've got you," he whispered.

He followed her in the lab.

He didn't care if the others noticed.

She had been much too quiet and even now when she talked about her cases to Hodges or Doc or the others, he could visibly see the sadness.

He tried to keep his distance but he worried about her.

He found himself caressing her back, stroking her arm and once or twice his hand entwined with hers.

He needed to touch her.

He hoped she needed it as well.

She had told him she was fine but he knew better.

When assignments were given out he put himself with her.

They worked side by side, each knowing the other's move without any need for words.

He smiled at her from time to time.

She returned the smile but it was different.

There was a sense of guilt behind the smile that tugged at his heart.

He did not know how to make it better.

Days passed and the sadness continued.

He woke one day and found her missing from their bed.

He stepped out of the bedroom and noticed the leash was missing.

An hour passed and the door opened.

Bruno came running up to Grissom.

"Hey," he said softly.

"We went for a walk," she said. "I didn't want to wake you."

"You shouldn't go out alone," he said.

"I had Bruno," she said trying to lighten the mood.

"You haven't been sleeping well," he pointed out.

She said nothing but headed to the kitchen.

"Want some juice?" she asked as she poured a glass.

"Sara…"

"I scheduled an appointment," she said.

"Appointment?"

"With…a…counselor," she said.

He nodded slowly. "I could come with you."

She shook her head. "I need to do this on my own."

"Sara, have I done anything…you're not happy," he said.

"Not you…it's me," she said. "You're the only home I've ever had…I uhm have to work through some things…I uhm scared all the time."

"Scared of what?"

"Of us."

His heart plummeted.

"Us?"

"I'm scared of losing you."

He breathed in deeply. "That's not going to happen. I'm not going…"

"I know," she said quickly. "It's not you…it's me…my fears…of finally getting it right and afraid of losing it. I can't explain it."

She came to him.

He stood there as she slowly undressed in front of him.

"Trust me?" she choked.

"Intimately," he whispered.

She helped him with his clothes. He leaned her against the wall as he lifted her leg slightly, waiting for permission and then entered her. She gasped from the full brunt of his lovemaking. He

stroked her body with his and soon they were both climaxing. He lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bedroom. He continued their lovemaking.

GSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSRGSR

Note from author:

Sigh...see you just have to give them time to work it out...LOL

Leave a review.

Take care,

Penny


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter Forty:**

He passed out the assignments and then waited for the others to leave before speaking to Catherine.

"Sara will be late," he said. "I'm not sure if she remembered to tell you…"

"Counseling appointment again," she said. "I think it's good. She's been through a lot."

He nodded.

"Gil?"

"Hmm"

"You can't help her with some things…as much as she loves you, she needs to talk with someone else…there may be things she can't or doesn't want you to know. Hell, Gil, she's been

through so much. I'm not sure I could go through what she has and be sane. She's strong."

"I just want her to be happy."

Catherine glanced up when she saw Hollister standing at the end of the hall.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news but Hollister is here."

Grissom turned and cursed.

"Want me to get rid of him?" asked Catherine.

"No."

He stood and watched as Hollister made his way toward Grissom.

"Could I speak with you in private?" asked Hollister.

"What do you want?" asked Grissom.

"I need to talk with you about Sara," he said.

"Sara is none of your business!" yelled Grissom.

"Mr. Grissom, I didn't come here to fight. I've been watching her," he said. "She's not been herself."

"What do you think is the reason?" asked Grissom.

"Me. I caused this. I hurt her," he said quietly.

He looked at Grissom. "Please, I'd like to talk with you before she comes in. I think it would be best if she didn't see me….not after what I tried to do a couple of weeks ago," he said.

Catherine glanced at Grissom. "I'll put a do not disturb sign on the door," said Catherine as she left.

Grissom sat back down.

Hollister pulled out the chair and faced him.

He pulled out the papers and handed them to Grissom.

"You can have your attorney look over this. I'm prepared to make any revision if necessary."

Grissom glanced over the legal document.

"I'm giving Sara physical and legal custody of Scotty….no strings attached. I've uhm also signed over my legal rights…you can pursue adoption and I won't stop you."

"Why are you doing this?" asked Grissom.

"I love her…despite my own twisted way of trying to get her back, I love her. I love my son also. I want them both to be happy…and I realize the only way that is possible is if I step aside

and leave them alone. Scotty needs Sara and I think she needs him also. Mary is waiting outside with him. She'll stay on as long as you need her…that is if you're still willing to take Scotty…

love him…"

"I love Scotty as much as Sara does."

"Good," he said as he stood slowly. "I'll be finished with the grant research soon and will be returning to San Francisco."

Grissom walked down the hall with Hollister. He waited at the desk and soon Mary emerged with Scotty. Grissom took him from her.

"Thank you Mary. Sara is not here right now."

"You want me to stay…"

"No, I've got him. Could you take his things to the townhouse?" he asked.

"I'd be happy to," she said with a smile.

Grissom walked down the hall carrying Scotty.

Heads shot out of the offices.

"Hey, you have Scotty," said Greg.

"Yes, I do," he smiled.

"Hey, little guy," said Nick with Warrick in tow.

"It's seems we have a little helper this evening," said Grissom.

"What happened?" asked Catherine.

"Hollister gave Sara custody…permanent custody," he said.

"So the man is human after all…wait, you better have your attorney check over the order," warned Catherine.

"I plan to but it seemed in order," said Grissom.

"Does Sara know?" asked Catherine.

"No, she doesn't," smiled Grissom. "I'm going to take Scotty home. Send Sara home when she gets in from the field."

"I'll send her home," said Catherine.

"Thanks Cat," he said as he turned and left.

Sara unlocked the door and stepped into the townhouse.

She set the keys on the counter and headed to the kitchen.

"Gil?" she called as she poured a glass of juice.

"Here," he said.

She turned and saw him sitting there in the chair.

"Catherine said you came home early," she said. "Are you okay?"

"Never better," he said. "How was counseling?"

She looked at him. "I talked about you today."

"I'm surprised you're home. That should have taken hours," he said.

She grinned. "I gave the condensed version."

"I guess your counselor will ask you when I will be starting counseling," he said. "Seeing it took me five years to get up the nerve to…"

"What was that?" asked Sara.

"What was what?" he asked with a grin.

"That noise from the bedroom," she said.

"Bruno," he lied.

"Oh."

"I had Catherine send you home because I wanted to talk with you," he said.

The smiled faded.

She set the glass down on the counter.

"I'm listening," she said softly.

"Would you….consider adoption?" he asked.

She looked down at the glass. "What about you?" she asked.

"You considered adoption before…with Scotty," he said.

"Yes…I did," she said. "If you want…"

"Sara, what do you want?"

"I know it's been months and I'm not pregnant…"

He quickly grabbed her hand. "I'm not saying we should stop trying…I like trying…don't you?"

"Why now?" she asked. "Why the interest in…what is that?" she asked as she came around the counter.

He pulled her into an embrace. "Would you be willing to adopt?"

"It's a long process…you have to get on a waiting list…wait for a child…who knows how long it will be or…" she looked at him. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to get on a waiting list."

"We don't have to wait," he said.

She looked confused.

"Come with me," he said.

He grabbed her hand and practically dragged her to the guest room.

Mary stood there holding Scotty.

Sara stared at Scotty and then Grissom.

"David gave you physical and legal custody…no strings attached," said Grissom. "My attorney reviewed the paperwork this evening."

"We have Scotty?" she asked.

"Yes, we do."

"Here, I think you've been waiting a long time to hold him," said Mary.

Sara took Scotty into her arms. She held him tight as he stared at her.

"I promise I'm not going anywhere," she whispered. "I promise I'll never leave you, Scotty."

Scotty grabbed her hair and then kissed her on the cheek.

Sara returned the kiss.

She turned and smiled at Grissom.

It was the Sidle smile he had fallen in love with the moment he saw it that day in the seminar.

"Happy?" he asked.

"Happy," she said.

"Mary has agreed to continue keeping Scotty," said Grissom.

"Mr. Hollister has paid a year salary in advance," she said.

Sara grinned when she saw a rocking chair in the room.

"We needed one," said Grissom.

Sara sat down and rocked Scotty.

She kissed Scotty as she continued to smile at Grissom.

"I think I'll give you some time alone," said Mary as she stepped out of the room.

Grissom came over and patted Scotty on the back.

"He's changed so much since I saw him…that night," said Sara.

"He's not going anywhere. He's going to be ours soon," said Grissom. "My attorney is already working on the adoption process."

"Any news of Jenny?" she asked.

"She's probably left the country," said Grissom.

Scotty squirmed and extended his hands to Grissom.

He took him.

Scotty pulled Grissom's face down and blew a bubbly kiss on his beard.

Sara chuckled.

"Thank you Scotty," he said.

"I thought you said you didn't like slobbery kisses," she chided.

"Only from Bruno," he said.

Bruno whined.

"It's okay Bruno. Scotty and I don't mind," she said as she reached down and patted Bruno's head.

His tail wagged.

He watched as she played with Scotty in the floor.

She giggled when Scotty clapped his hands and squealed.

_She's happy…_

_I haven't seen her so happy in a long time…_

They both put him to bed and the turned in themselves.

Mary sat down with a book. "Don't worry, I'll check on him."

"Wake me…if he cries…if he needs me…I'll just be in the next room," said Sara.

"He'll be fine," said Mary. "He's home."

"Yes, he is," smiled Sara.

"We'll have to do some furniture shopping for the guest room," said Grissom.

"He's going to need a high chair," said Sara as she followed Grissom into the bedroom and shut the door.

He lay there with his eyes closed but knew she was watching him.

"Sara, sleep."

"I'm too excited," she said.

"We have to be at work soon," he said.

"I know…I've missed him," she said.

"Me too…but he's with us now," he said.

She rolled over on top of him. "I love you."

"We have guest in the next room," he said.

"I suggest you keep it down then," she said as she leaned down and kissed him.

"I recall the person making the most noise…"

He was interrupted again by her lips on his.

She kissed his chest and sank further down, planting kisses on his abdomen and then stroked him with her hand.

"Sara," he whispered.

She kissed his shaft and suddenly she felt herself being lifted and tossed onto the bed.

Grissom straddled her.

"Remember, you started this," he said with a grin.

"Yes, but I intend to finish this," she teased as she kissed him.

He plunged into her, making her gasp.

He stared intently into her eyes as he plunged deeper and deeper.

She moaned slightly.

"Not nice," she whispered.

He withdrew. "Want me to stop?" he asked.

"Frustration…major frustration," she bit out.

He chuckled as he sank back into her and began the usual rhythm. She followed. Her legs wrapped around his waist and he sank deeper and deeper with each thrust.

They both collapsed at the same time.

"I think that was the quietest we've ever done it," he whispered.

"I think we'll need to practice…being quiet," she smirked.

He spooned his body up next to her.

"Sleep!" he warned.

"Gil?"

"Hmmm?"

"If we don't have a child of our own…is Scotty enough?"

"No."

She rolled over and faced him.

"I thought we could add a cat and I've had my heart set on this kumodo dragon that I have yet to receive."

She punched him in the ribs.

"Scotty is more than enough. I just want you," he said. "I want you to be happy."

"I am happy," she said.

"Good…now sleep."

Note from author:

Ahhhhh, the fluff...I'm gagging on the fluff...maybe just a lttle angst before it ends...

Take care,

Penny


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter Forty One:**

She was reluctant to leave him.

She kissed him several times and then held him.

He wrapped his little hands around her neck and held on.

"I'll be home soon," she whispered.

Scotty whimpered and then cried.

Grissom kissed him and then took him for a moment.

"He'll need to get into a routine…see you both leave and then come home," said Mary.

Sara nodded sadly.

Grissom gently took her by the arm and waved at Scotty. "See you soon," he said.

Sara waved as well.

The routine worked.

Scotty was less fussy as each day passed.

The townhouse was redecorated.

There were toys lying around along with baby clothes and blankets.

Grissom sat down and jumped back up when the chair squeaked.

"You found his toy," smirked Sara.

"He's taken over," said Grissom as he opened his book.

"You like it…or else you wouldn't come home with so many toys," she said.

"I only buy educational toys," he corrected with a grin.

"Right," she said as she held up the giant beetle.

"That's educational…if it weren't for bugs…."

"The attorney called today," she said sounding serious.

"And?"

"We have a court date in two months…a week after Scotty turns one," she said with a smile.

"Then he's officially ours," he said.

"He wanted to know if we intended to change his first name," said Sara.

"I like the sound of Scotty Grissom," he said.

She smiled.

Sara pulled up at the traffic light and saw David coming out of a restaurant.

She pulled over and watched as he crossed the street and headed toward the hotel.

She was surprised when she heard herself call his name.

He turned and smiled.

"You look good," he said.

"Scotty is doing great," she said.

"I never doubted…I miss him," he said as he looked down at the ground.

Sara pulled out a photo album from her purse.

"These were taken a week ago in the park," she said.

He flipped through the photos. "He's getting so big…he looks very happy."

"He is…I am…we both are," she said.

"I'm glad."

"Listen, I was just in town for a meeting…I leave in the morning. I was going to drop off Scotty's baby book at the lab. Wait here…I'll go up and get it," he said.

"I uhm could follow you up," she said.

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yeah…I am," she said.

They said very little as they entered the hotel room. He turned on the lights and then reached into his suitcase. He pulled out the book and handed it to Sara.

"You should have this," he said. "I should have thought about this when…it has a complete history of his firsts…also medical history…it will come in handy…he's not had any more ear

infections, has he?"

"No. He's been a healthy boy."

"Good," he said.

Sara held the book close.

"David, thank you…for giving me Scotty," she said.

"Are you happy?" he asked. "Really happy?"

She flashed her Sidle smile.

"The smile tells it all," he said. "I always loved that smile."

"I should be going. Gil is expecting me home soon…as well as Scotty."

"Sara, I'm sorry…for trying to get you to sleep with me…for Scotty…I just wanted you…it wasn't about sex…I wanted to love you. I never meant to hurt you," he said.

"Let's just…leave it behind us. You did the right thing…for Scotty…and for me. Thank you," she said.

"I meant what I said. I won't interfere…just do me a favor…if you ever tell him the truth…about his parents…let him know how much I love him…I love him enough to give him to the one

person I've ever loved…his mother…you."

Sara swallowed hard. "I'll tell him."

She started to walk away but stopped and hugged him.

"Be happy Sara. You deserve to be happy," he whispered. "If you ever need anything, you can come to me."

She quickly stepped out of the room and hurried to her car.

She wiped at her tears and flipped through the baby book.

She opened her phone and called home as she drove.

"Hey, I'm running a little late," she said. "I'm just on Fifth Street."

"We were getting worried," said Grissom as he held Scotty.

"How's Scotty?" she asked.

"He stood this evening…He's walking around…how attached were you to the picture frame on the table?" he asked.

"We're going to have to baby proof the house," she said. "There's…"

Grissom yelled as he heard the crash.

He handed Scotty to Mary as he rushed out of the house.

His fingers hit the return button as he begged her to answer.

He cursed when it gave a busy signal.

He called Brass.

"It's Sara. She was on Fifth Street. I think there's been an accident," he said quickly.

"I'm on my way," Brass said.

Grissom was not prepared to run into traffic.

He cursed when his phone began to ring.

"Grissom"

"You were right. A car ran the red light and slammed into Sara's car…a hit and run."

"Where?"

"Fifth and Broad."

"I'm already here…stuck in the traffic."

"You need to get up here. I've called an ambulance."

He jumped out of his vehicle and ran down the block.

His chest began to heave as he saw the impact to the driver's side.

She was still inside.

"Sara!"

"She was unconscious when I got here. She took quite a hit from the safety bag. The door is jammed. We don't want to move her until the medics check her over."

"What happened?" yelled Grissom.

"Witnesses say Sara was stopped at the red light and a black SUV came out of nowhere and slammed into her. An off duty security guard who was standing over there swears the hit was

intentional. The car sped off down Broad."

Grissom checked her pulse as his hands roamed down her body checking for injuries.

"We need to get her out of there," he said.

"The door is jammed. They're going to have to cut it open. They're not permitted to move her until the medics have assessed her injuries," said Brass.

"Sara…Sara, can you hear me?" asked Grissom as he caressed her cheek.

Sara opened her eyes.

She cursed as she tried to move her head.

"Don't move…wait until the medics arrive," said Grissom.

He noticed a deep gash on her arm. Someone had placed a temporary bandage on it. Already the bandage was soaked.

"The medics are here," called Brass as he stepped aside and let them get closer.

Within minutes, Sara was in the ambulance.

"Go with her, I'll have one of the guys drive your car to the hospital," yelled Brass.

He sat there holding her hand.

She winced when they pressed on her ribs.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Head hurts," she whispered.

"You took quite a hit. Do you remember what happened?" asked the physician.

"Car came from the wrong direction…drunk driver maybe," she said as her hand held her head.

"You're going to have quite a headache for a few days…there's already some bruising from the airbag," said Dr. Roberts.

She nodded slowly.

"I'd like keep you overnight…just for observation…you were unconscious for quite awhile," he said.

Sara quickly shook her head but regretted the motion.

Dr. Roberts looked at Grissom.

"Sara…"

"I want to be home with Scotty," she said.

"He's fine," said Grissom.

She tried to push herself off the bed.

"Sara, you're staying," said Grissom.

"I'm going home," she said. "It's a few stitches…headache…bruises…cuts…I've had worse," she said.

Grissom glanced at the physician.

"I can prescribe her something for the pain. If the headache gets worse or last more than twenty four hours, bring her in immediately."

"Thank you," she said as she leaned against the bed.

She bit down on her lip as she focused on standing still.

Grissom's arm wrapped around her waist.

"Lean on me," he said as he guided her out of the emergency room.

Once she was in the passenger side, he shut the door causing her to wince.

"I think this is a mistake," he warned.

"Where's my car?" she asked.

"It's been towed…I think you may be getting a new one…it failed the side impact test," he said. "You were lucky."

"I saw the car approaching…there wasn't anything I could do but…Scotty's book…it's in the car," she said suddenly.

Grissom reached into the back seat. "Brass found it."

"David gave it to me. I saw him this evening," she said.

She leaned back in the seat.

"Tell me the truth. How bad is it?" he asked.

"It hurts," she admitted. "But not as bad as staying away from Scotty."

He kissed the palm of her hand. "You scared me," he said.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"Did you get a look at the driver?" he asked.

"It was a woman…sunglasses…dark hair…it was quick…I was trying to get over to the passenger side," she said.

"There are four cameras posted at that intersection. Brass is going to get the photo shots…it might be able to help us locate the hit and run," he said.

He assisted her inside.

They could hear Scotty crying already.

Sara stepped inside and smiled.

"I was so worried," said Mary. "Are you alright?"

"She's battered and bruised…no carrying Scotty," said Grissom.

Sara sat down on the couch and reached for Scotty.

"Momma!" he yelled.

Sara gulped. "It's the first he's called me that since…"

She held him tight. "So sorry I'm late Scotty."

He kissed her on the mouth and then curled into her lap. Grissom helped her lie down on the couch with Scotty by her side. He grabbed Scotty's favorite blanket and wrapped it around him.

Sara rubbed his back as she began to quietly hum to him.

Within minutes, Scotty was asleep.

Grissom started to take him but Sara stopped him.

"Let me hold him for a little while," she whispered.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"On top of the world," she said with a smile.

He grinned. "Fifteen minutes and then we need get you to bed."

She nodded as she closed her eyes.

"I'll be in my room if you need me," said Mary.

"Thanks, Mary," said Grissom as he stepped into the kitchen for a drink.

He looked down and saw that Brass had tried to call.

"How's Sara?"

"She's lying on the couch with Scotty."

"Is she okay?" asked Brass.

"She's going to be fine," he said.

He put Scotty to bed and then carried Sara to bed.

She leaned back into the pillow. He handed her two pills and she stared at them.

"It's safe…I checked," he said. "You'll need something to help you sleep. How's the arm?"

"Stitches burn…it's going to leave a scar," she said. "The gash was pretty deep."

"How's the headache?" he asked.

"It's not so bad," she lied.

"Liar," he said.

She grinned as she scooted down into the bed.

Grissom pulled the gown back from her chest. "Quite a bit of bruising," he said.

"I'm fine," she said.

He nodded slowly as he sat there and stroked her hair.

"Feels nice," she whispered.

"Just get some rest," he said softly.

Note from author:

We are up to the last chapter that also contains the epilogue!

Take care,

Penny


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter Forty Two:**

He refused to let her go to work the next day.

She lay in bed.

Grissom had threatened her if she moved from the bedroom.

"How are you feeling?" asked Mary.

"Sore…very sore and nauseous," said Sara. "I hate pain medicine…after effects."

"Can I get you anything?"

"I'm afraid we're out of ginger ale and crackers," she said.

"I could run to the store for you," offered Mary.

"You wouldn't mind?" asked Sara.

"Of course not. I'll be back in just a few minutes," she said. "Is there anything else I can do?"

"Want to do the shopping list?" asked Sara.

"I'll get it from the fridge," smiled Mary. "I'll just get my jacket and then get Scotty."

"He can stay…Mary there's no reason you have to get him up from his nap…go," she said.

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Go…there's another thing I need you to pick up," said Sara as she scribbled it on the list.

"Anything else?" smiled Mary.

"Probably don't need it but..."

"Be back soon. Call me on my cell if you need me or think of anything else," said Mary.

"How about ice cream...make it double chocolate," said Sara.

"Going to share?" teased Mary.

"I'll have two spoons waiting," she said.

Bruno barked and wagged his tail.

Sara chuckled. "I think he knows you're going for ice cream."

He barked and Sara hushed him.

"Want me to take him for a ride?" asked Mary.

"Make him stay out of the bags."

"Heard that Bruno?" chided Mary.

Sara closed her eyes.

She jumped when she heard Scotty whimper.

She stood slowly and winced from the sore muscles.

She gasped when she walked into the nursery and found Jenny standing over Scotty.

"What are you doing?" asked Sara.

"He's gotten so big…I've missed so much of his life because of you!" yelled Jenny.

"That was your fault," said Sara.

"Did you think you could just cozy up to David, get my son and the money?" sneered Jenny.

"I never cozied up to David. I never was interested in the money…Scotty needed me," she said.

"He's my son!" Jenny yelled. "I gave birth to him! He's mine!"

"David said you and Brad adopted Scotty….his mother died at childbirth…he's Scotty's father."

Jenny laughed. "When my father found out that my mother cheated on him, he insisted on a paternity test. It proved I wasn't his biological daughter. He divorced my mother…oh he never

publicly disowned me…he didn't want a scandal…he just disinherited me."

Jenny looked at Sara and saw that she was confused.

"I know…David said it was because of Brad…believe me the rift started before Brad appeared in my life. Did you know that David and I had different mothers….and fathers it would seem. He

felt sorry for me when dear daddy disinherited me. He got me the job as a CSI…I met Brad there. We got married. It infuriated daddy more. I worked my ass off night after night…David could

afford anything…oh he was nice…helped me when I needed money…it should have been mine! That's when Brad came up with a plan to force my father to disinherit David…it failed…even

stoned out of his mind David was such a weakling for you. He didn't rape you so I had Brad do it…and yet my father covered for David."

Jenny reached down and patted Scotty's back.

Sara stepped forward.

"I was determined to get back at my father. I came up with another plan…on my own. David was quite upset after you left…he was depressed for years…I took advantage of the situation…

got him drunk..screwed him…after that I became a regular screw for him…it seems I reminded him of you. I got pregnant with Scotty…I knew it wasn't Brad's. I made him wear condoms…told

him I wasn't ready to get pregnant yet…but as soon as I was pregnant by David…well, let's just say Brad never knew Scotty wasn't his. It was my little extra insurance…David paid me hush

money while I, his sister, raised his son…our son."

Jenny glared at Sara. "You should have died that night Brad had to fuck you! You should have O.D….then you survived the cliff…Brad got messy…it cost him his freedom…but not mine. I saw

you leave David's hotel room…I should have killed you then…I smashed my car into you…I intended to walk up and just shoot you point blank but there were too many people around. It

seems you have nine lives…you're not playing house with my son! I'm taking Scotty with me," she said.

"You're not taking Scotty anywhere!" yelled Sara.

Jenny turned and pointed a gun at Sara.

"I plan to make sure you're dead this time," she said. "Scotty is my son…not yours! He should have called me 'momma'…not you," she yelled.

Scotty whimpered.

"You're going to wake him…you don't want to scare him," said Sara.

"Shut up! Don't tell me how to treat my baby!" yelled Jenny.

"Jenny, put the gun down," said David as he entered the room.

"Well, well, look who's come to visit?" sneered Jenny.

"So tell me David. How long did it take you to finally screw Sara? Oh wait. Let me guess. You've still not been able to bed her. The high and mighty David Hollister…the man who could have

anyone and yet he can't even get the girl across the tracks...how sad."

David stepped in front of Sara.

"How much do you want, Jenny? Name it," said David.

"How did you find me?" asked Jenny.

"Money can buy a lot of investigators…they've been on your trail for weeks," he said. "How much do you want?"

"Ten million…and my son," she said.

"You can have the money…but not Scotty," he said.

"He's mine," she cried. "I carried him. I gave birth to him…he's mine…you said you wouldn't take him from me," she cried.

"Yes, I did but that was before I found out what you did…Scotty deserves better. Look at him Jenny! Look at our son…now look at us…we're pathetic as parents. Scotty deserves a loving

home…Sara and Gil have given him that," he said.

"No!"

"Come with me," he said as he held out his hand. "We deserve each other. I'll take you anywhere you want to go…just leave here now…just the two of us," he said.

She shook her head. "All I ever wanted was you...you never even saw me...just her...I'm not leaving here without Scotty. I want my baby!"

"You can't have him," said David. "I won't let you twist him like our father did to us."

"You were never like him. I did whatever he wanted…he owed me…instead he took everything away!"

"Jenny, please. Put the gun down," pleaded David.

"She deserves to die," said Jenny.

"Sara never did anything to either of us," said David as he stepped forward.

Jenny pulled back the trigger. "She can go to hell!"

David lurched for the gun as it went off. He stared at Jenny as he fell to his knees. Sara ran forward and held him as he lay on the floor. She grabbed a small blanket and held it against the

wound.

"David," Sara cried. "Hold still."

Scotty began to cry as he sat up.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to shoot you…I meant to shoot Sara," cried Jenny. She looked back and tried to pat Scotty on the back.

He wailed as he held out his hands and cried, "momma."

"Momma is here," said Jenny. "Momma is here." She tried to pick up Scotty but he scooted away, extending his hands toward Sara's direction.

"Jenny, please…if you love Scotty…don't….do….this," he said. "Look at him…he wants Sara…he needs Sara," said David as he died.

"No…David…hang on," cried Sara.

She looked up at Jenny. "He's dead."

"No…no…no," cried Jenny.

"You killed him!"

"I thought he would tell our father about the pregnancy…force me to divorce Brad and ….marry him…he didn't. He hid Scotty's birth…he hid me…just like my father…I was an embarrassment."

Jenny raised the gun.

Scotty wailed for Sara. "Momma"

"I love you, Scotty," said Sara.

Sara closed her eyes as the gun fired.

She expected to feel pain.

She felt nothing.

She opened her eyes and found Jenny lying on the floor.

She had shot herself.

Scotty wailed.

Sara scrambled to her feet and grabbed Scotty as she ran out of the room.

She could hear sirens already as she made her way to the back deck.

She noticed the glass was broken and she stepped over it as she made her way outside. She rocked Scotty back and forth as she cried.

Police surrounded the house and yet she remained there on the deck, rocking the baby back and forth.

Brass arrived followed by Grissom.

Grissom took one look at the nursery and then ran outside.

He held Sara as she clutched Scotty to her.

"She shot David…he was protecting me…she then killed herself…Scotty saw it happen…Oh God Gil…Scotty saw it happen," she said over and over.

She continued to rock him back and forth.

Brass handed Grissom a blanket and wrapped both of them in it.

"We're going to take you to Jim's…okay?" he asked.

She nodded slightly. He tried to take Scotty from her arms but she refused to let go of him.

"Sara, I've got him," said Grissom quietly.

"I can't let go," she whispered. "I can't…"

"It's okay honey…I've got our son…nothing is going to happen to him," said Grissom. "I promise."

She glanced down at the baby's tear streaked face. She kissed him lightly on the forehead and then handed him to Grissom.

Grissom held him as he whispered softly to Scotty. He whimpered a moment but then clung to Grissom. "Dada…Dada."

"Dada…is here," he whispered. "I'm here."

He sat there on the edge of the bed and stroked her hair. Scotty lay there beside her as he slept.

"Jim set up the portable crib," he said softly. "We should put him in bed."

"Just a few more minutes," she said as she wiped at her eyes.

"You okay?" he asked.

"He did the right thing…in the end…he did the right thing," she said.

"Yes, he did," said Grissom.

"I don't understand…Jenny was…I don't understand," she sniffled.

"It's over," he said. "I can give you something…for the pain," he said.

She shook her head.

He started to get up but she grabbed his hand.

"Don't leave…stay," she begged. "Blood was everywhere...I closed my eyes...I thought she was going to kill me next...Scotty saw...he saw...God, Gil...our baby saw that," she cried.

"He won't remember," said Grissom. "He'll have nothing but happy memories."

She nodded.

He curled up beside her and held his family.

"He called you dada," she whispered.

"He's our son," said Grissom. "Yours and mine."

**Epilogue:**

They celebrated by having a small party for Scotty's first birthday.

Sara snapped photo after photo.

"The adoption becomes final next week," said Catherine.

"Yes, it does. Scotty is officially ours," said Sara smiling.

"So…have you told him yet?" asked Catherine.

"I was going to tell him today…kind of make it our special day as well," whispered Sara.

Catherine smiled.

"Cat…thanks for supporting me these last three months…keeping the pregnancy a secret…I just wanted to get through the first trimester…you know make sure everything is okay," she said.

"Scheduled the ultrasound yet?" asked Catherine.

"Next week," Sara beamed.

"Just make sure we get his reaction on film today…okay?" asked Catherine.

"Yes!" she said.

Sara walked up to Grissom and kissed him.

He pulled her close. "Greg and Nick are spoiling him."

"You've already done that," she said.

"We're going to the amusement park this evening…everyone is going to ride the rollercoaster…together…Mary is going to keep Scotty…he can watch," grinned Grissom.

"I can't," she said.

"Don't tell me you're scared?" asked Greg as he jabbed Nick.

"Warrick has ridden it…remember, Warrick? Grissom made you ride it as part of your evaluation," said Nick.

"Yes, he did. I recall I threw up…but then I rode it again," chuckled Warrick.

"Sorry, but I can't ride it," she said.

Grissom's smiled faded. "Why not?"

"My doctor restricted me from doing such things."

"Restricted you? Why?"

She grinned.

Grissom stared at her.

He grabbed her by the waist. "Your doctor…as in OB?"

"Yes….at least for the next five and half months."

He looked shell shocked.

"How far along are you?"

"Ultrasound is next week…we get to find out if it's a boy or a girl…Scotty is not going to be an only child...I hope you didn't reorder that Kumodo dragon."

He smiled.

He grabbed her and held her tight.

"You get a free pass…but the rest of you…"

They chuckled as he scooped up Scotty. "When you're big enough….you and me…rollercoasters."

Sara smiled…her Sidle smile.

The End.

Note from author:

Thanks so much for reading along. I am typing away now trying to finish another story while pretending to lead a normal life. LOL. Please set your alert so that you will be notified of the next story. I hope I will not disappoint...perhaps in about two weeks...I can't believe I am approaching the one year mark when I began to write fanfiction. I have enjoyed it. I so love GSR and hope that everyone will keep the faith that they will remain intact after this season...or else we can all go to Hollywood and give them a piece of our mind...

Take care,

Penny


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